What do you think about when you’re having sex?
Sometimes, I think about everything but the sex because no matter what I'm doing, my mind is always multi-tasking. I'm making to-do lists in my head, whether I’m sitting at a traffic light waiting for it to change, in the shower washing my hair, or trying to fall asleep while listening to my husband snore.
So why should it be any different when I’m having sex? I know that it’s a horrible way to be and I’ve worked at getting better at being focused when I’m getting intimate with my husband. But it’s not easy.
Here’s my most recent train of thought while my husband and I were attempting to simultaneously combust:
- This going to be good. I just know it.
- Wait, I forgot to take my kid’s jeans out of the dryer early. Now they’re going to be too short.
- It’s almost the end of the month. My credit card payment is due.
- Stop it, stop it, stop it. Not him. You. Focus. You're having sex. Remember.
- Ooh, that feels good.
- Hey, he likes it when I do that.
- Damn, I forgot to shave my legs. Wonder if he cares. (Obviously not.)
- I really need to start exercising again. I’m feeling a little jiggly.
- Hmm, I like it when he does that.
- But did he leave the grill on again?
- Mind, stop wandering.
- This is better. Nothing in my head but my mother? What? Go away. Please. I meant to say please.
I’ll stop there and spare you further details, but suffice it to say there is a point where I quit thinking about other things and focus on what’s going on right in front of me. Or under me, as the case may be. And nine times out of 10, I get a happy ending.
But I wish it didn't take me so long to live in the intimate moment. I'll keep working on it because practicing is fun. And happily, my husband is a patient man.
Do you sometimes find it hard to shut your mind off during sex?