My daughters first birthday and don't know what to do with family drama
I need advice right now... My daughters first birthday is in 10 days and I want to throw her a bday party. Her first one. My mom is no longer here (committed suicide last August) so its been hard in general getting advice from my family. Drama ever since my mom has been gone/happened blamming my dad and my dads side of the family about my moms death. DRAMA...... I have friends, but they gossip and it annoying I don't like people knowing my business all the time. I live with my dad right now and no longer live with my boyfriend. We fight too much and I didn't want the fighting around my daughter anymore. He lives at his parents and I live with my dad...So we rarely see eachother and he rarely sees his daughter, and he is a different sole. Hard to even trust him right now. My boyfriends family is even weird and have trust issues with them as well...I seem like I have trust issues, but I really don't. I have told people things before and they go out behind my back and use it against me and it hurts that's why I am like this. Hard to tell anyone anything anymore. So I'm in a weird situation...
My boyfriend works as a cook rarely see him (even holidays) in general so I have been raising our daughter on my own (no advice/help from family/friends) with no mother there to help me. I have and think I have done a good job raising my daughter. She is healthy and happy and I love her with all my heart. Just don't know what to do about her first birthday... my boyfriend and I are up and down all the freaking time in our relationship. I have been trying to plan a bday for her for about 2 months now, and he doesn't commit to anything, so I'm tired of just waiting for him to say yea that's a good day for her birthday. I don't get anything (reaction) so I am going to do her bday on my own and not even invite him. So on top of that both sides of my parents families are fighting and it's awkward/hard for my sibilings and don't know what to do with them...Like invite them or not invite them? They have sibling problems too which is also even harder too for me on who to invite. Just don't know what to do...I feel like I should send out an invitation saying, "If you want to come to my daughters first birthday party you can. I won't be hurt/offended if you say no, but I do/get along with both sides of my parents family each and every one of you guys...and I don't want the drama on her first birthday, and I want her to have her family there on this very special day and to celebrate it with her. We are all adults and need to move on from the past and this high school drama shit, and to not make other family members feel like it is hard to invite a family member to a birthday party. My mom wouldn't want this and would want everyone to get along on this day for her granddaughter." Good to say or no????? Even my mom's funeral was soooooo awkward and that's what my siblings and I will have to remember for the rest of our lives. Just because they couldn't get along we have to take on what has happened. I was asking my dad today about having a birthday party for her and he goes they don't remember their first ones...yes I know, but she is turning one my baby is turning one. And he goes now you have to think about who to invite with family...really...like I really have to take the wrath of this and my daughter too cause some adults in their 50's/60's can't get along. It's been a roller coaster ride last year and even this year. Just need help and some advice just wish people could get along and would be happy. Like this is depressing to me because I'm worrying will I hurt this persons feelings if I don't invite this person??? I feel like I am high school and it won't ever end even with my family.
Any advice would be great please :-)