Do I have a right to be angry with my mom?(LONG STORY)
I've been wanting to get this off of my chest for awhile now.
I was adopted at the age of 5 along with my 7 year old sister. We previously lived in an abusive home, and this new family couldnt have children so they chose to adopt.
It was great for awhile, I couldnt imagine a better childhood; arts and crafts, sports, camps, and family dinners everynight. My sister was a menace though, she lived with the abuse longer so she was more mentally scared then I was. Her and my adoptive mom would always fight, but I was always the angel she loved and adored.
Anyhow, as we got older my sister started getting into trouble with drugs, theft, prostituting and she even sexually abused two little boys and had to register as a sex offender.
My adoptive mom became pregnant when I was ten, which she did not think was possible, hents the adoption.
Anyhow, when my sis was away in jail, and my little brother was born mom started taking her agressions out on me, and my brother was the new angel.
Despite feeling neglected I was a good kid, and I loved my brother more than life.
I started becoming harrassed in school, kids would throw rocks at me on the way home from school, and mom did nothing. She would still make me walk to and from everyday.
One day, she bought me a hampster and it died the very same day. She then blamed me, broke down my bedroom door and started hitting me in the face. My dad had to pull her off of me.
After middle school was over I refused to go to highschool. I was so bullied I developed severe social anxiety and just couldnt go back.
At the age of 17 I met my first real boyfriend and moved in with him to get away from her. We became pregnant and boy did that set her off!
I now feel no matter what I do or how hard I try to redeem myself for dissapointing her, she cant seem to treat me equally to my brother or sister.
I am now 23 and have met a man that I absolutely adore. We are married and have a beautiful baby boy.
Before the marriage she insisted on the wedding being at her house. She made all these beautiful plans and at the last second her and dad tell me they cant support the wedding because my siginificant other has aspergers and doesnt always say the nicest things.
My sister, who has had her child taken away for selling herioine, abusing her child, offering herself for 10$ to undercover narcodics, and giving her 4 year old a sippy cup full of beer in front of these agents, and been to prison for it.. is getting better treatment from my parents then I have.
My mom took her in, gave her her own room, (which she wouldnt do for me) and is now supporting a marriage to a man older than our dad who she has only known for a few weeks..
Christmas's are just plain wrong. My mom will tell me not to expect anything this year because she cant afford it, yet when I show up my little brother(her blood child) gets 15 gifts and sits there complaining about them!
I know I am a grown woman and this may seem imature, but I am just hurt, and feel so confused about this relationship with my "mom."
I have tried to explain these feelings to her but she just says shes sorry I feel this way and continues these actions. She has even admitted to loving my "brother" more than I because hes the child shes always wanted.
Anyhow, Id like some opinions.
I recently told her I cant have her in my life because it just hurts to much.
AM I WRONG?