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Tough love tips??

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 12:07 AM
  • 6 Replies
I have a 20 yr old son who just finished freshman yr of college, he had a partial academic and partial athletic scholarship, he did poorly in 2 classes to point he may have lost the academic portion and may not be elgible to compete now, no far this summer he has only worked minimal hours for job. He may have gotten a full time job in next town and will start end of next week, tells me he is checking into taking the classes online that he needs to make up but not sure if he's being truthful, he has lied to us and been hanging out with someone that gets into trouble. We are leaving for vacation Friday and my husband wants me to tell son that he needs to get what he needs and stay elsewhere while we are gone so we can lock everything up, (husband says it's my turn he is tired of being bad guy) how do I tell son without hurting him or coming across like total B word? Help!



by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 12:07 AM
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by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 1:38 AM

hugsHonestly I would just tell him, as nice as possible. Also give him a reason, maybe it will open his eyes. In all honesty he is a grown man, who needs to take responsibility for his actions

by Sarah on Jun. 20, 2013 at 11:43 AM

Hes most likely going to get upset no matter what. It sounds like hes not wanting to man up and take care of his responsibilities. 

If he can't prove to you that he is doing what needs to be done I see no reason for you to let him "mooch" off you for a lack of a better word here. 

by on Jun. 20, 2013 at 12:16 PM

I would be straight forward & give him the reasons. He needs to start being the man he needs to be. He has to start doing what needs done. He needs to follow through & I agree he doesn't need to be in the house. This is a great step to make him start doing what needs done. 

by Michelle on Jun. 20, 2013 at 1:11 PM

Does he live with you or else where? I'm assuming he lives with you and you and your dh don't trust him in the house while you're gone... You're just going to have to be straight forward and tell him, I would also strongly encourage him to look for an apartment in the town his new job is in. Sounds like he's on a downward spiral and you don't want your 40 year old son living in your basement so best to do it now. Good luck!

by Member on Jun. 20, 2013 at 2:19 PM

I would let him stay in the house with strict rules.   This is the real test that will either prove or disprove his maturity,honesty, integrity and respect for you.  

And I would have several friends/neightbors - spy on him and fill you in daily.

by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 9:02 AM

Well update on things, he kicked a door in the house and made a huge hole in it, then said he tripped no way he could have tripped and made a whole this big.  Its my birthday he didn't say happy birthday and is now making me feel guilty saying we didn't invite him when we did and saying we dont want him there that we hate him etc... Everytime we try to help him he takes advantage then tears something up and then tries to give us a guilt trip.  What a crappy birthday.  Dont know what to do anymore

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