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Work fro home mom feeling under appriciated

Posted by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:47 PM
  • 6 Replies

Hello, and thanks in advance for lisstening to me vent.  I am a work at home mom with a beautiful 2.5 year old daughter and am 7 months pregnant with our 2nd daughter.  I am also a caregiver to my 91 year old grandmother who lives with us and has alzhiemers.  My husband works 12 hour days, 6-7 days a week and is a great father.  I do feel latley that he does not fully acknowledge or appriciate what I do all day.  By the time he gets home I am exhausted and admitidley a bit crankey.  My father lives with us as well under the condition that he take on most of the responsibility of my grandmother, but i have to constantly keep on him to do it.  I stay up till 2 am working as I cannot get any work done during the day.  My day is spent with a very clinggy daughter, doing housework, and curently potty training and teaching her the things she will need to know for preschool. I also babysit my 8 year old niece 4-5 days a week.  I let my husband know that I appriciate how hard he works for our family (my grandmother and father included) but it never seems recipercated.  It has been a month since I have been out of the house for anything other than a quick trip to the grocery store.  He is always too tired to do anything (which is understandable given how hard he works), but it would be nice for him to come home on a weekend and say hey, lets go to the park or the beach.  On top of everything his 16 year old daughter is moving in with us next month.  In order for this to happen my husband and I have to give up our room and will be sleeping in the livingroom.  I told him I was ok with this, she needs a loving environment, something she does not have living with her grandmother.  At the same time it would have been nice for my husband to say, thanks for giving up the little amount of personal space you have for my daughter.  He seems more concerned with getting our roomready for her than he does getting the livingroom ready for us or getting things ready for our baby which will be here in 2 month.  Am I being selfish?  Please be honest and thanks for listening.

by on Jun. 23, 2013 at 11:47 PM
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Replies (1-6):
by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:23 AM

It sounds like you are wanting more acknowledgement from your dh.  Is that right?

by on Jun. 24, 2013 at 12:43 AM

Yes, even if its not verbal.  Surprise me with some flowers or take our daughter with him when he runs an errand.

by Michelle on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:04 AM
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My heart went out to you the second I read you were a caretaker to a Alzheimer's patient. You have way too much on your plate in my opinion. Good luck with everything!! You're selfless not selfish.

by Ruby Member on Jun. 24, 2013 at 10:18 AM
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 You do have way too much on your plate and now your about to add a teenage girl! No you are not selfish at all. You are a very caring, loving person. You need sometime to yourself or just to relax. If not it's going to take a toll on your health. Mentally and or physically. Have you ever sat down and talked to your husband?

by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:21 PM
No quite reasonable to me (my opinion)
by on Jun. 25, 2013 at 12:26 PM
I think a lot of people assume because you are home, you're not really working, which is NOT the case. I feel for you, I really do. Remember to be gentle with yourself and take little breaks when you can... even if it's just sneaking a book and a snack into the bathroom LOL. Have you considered not giving up your bedroom? I think that could be disastrous to your marriage. You MUST have some space that belongs only to you and your husband. Maybe your daughter can have a small dresser in your room, but sleep on the couch? The last thing you need is to add more resentment (yours and your husbands) to the mix.
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