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I wish there was a guide sometimes

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 2:06 PM
  • 12 Replies

It's so hard to know whether you are making the right choices for your family sometimes.  My husband and I have a 15 month old beautiful little girl who we both love so much it hurts!  I am a nurse and work 3 12 hr days a week, which is full time for nurses.  Those days are long and ocassionally stressfull and 99% of the time turn into 13-16 hr days.  I was presented today with the opportunity to possibly move into a case management position in a couple of months.  I immediately get a nauseated uneasy feeling because I am so unsure of whether that would be better because it would be 5 days a week, set hours with all weekends & holidays off, or whether it is better to stay with 3 very long days to have more days off with my baby.  In the 5 days a week job I could pretty much set my schedule and go in early to be home early. 

I called hubby right away at work and told him what was up and to think about it a little and see what he thought.

I know I will never get over not knowing if what I do is right, but I really hate the sinking feeling the idea of change gives me.  It is a very good opportunity to advance my career and possibly get the opportunity to further my education at some point. 

I have no idea what to do!  I guess I'm just searching for some KIND opinions.  I wish I could be a SAHM, but that is just not an option in my world in this economy.   I'm afraid it never will be. 

by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 2:06 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CountryMomF350
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I totally understand where you are coming from! I am not a nurse, but my sister and sister-in-law are and I've seen them face similar situations. They actually chose opposite solutions and they, as well as their babies, are doing great!

The most important thing you need to remember to help relax you is, children are very adaptable to new routines. It may be different for them at first, but they thrive off of a routine. So the pros for the new position would be constant routine with the same hours, same days. Whereas the other schedule is not like that. However, your baby is probably adapted to the three days now, and if you choose to stay home they will be fine either way! You have to not only do what's best for them, but you too! And thats the best and sometimes hardest part of being a parent. Learning new strategies so everybody can win! Especially when you have more than one sweet pea! No need to worry whether its "right or wrong" in this case, because as long as you give them stability and love, which is so apparent you do, they will thrive in both cases! So the next part of the puzzle, is what will make you thrive!

Hope this helped :)) Good Luck!

 

-Lacy

EarlGrayHot
by on Jul. 3, 2013 at 2:54 PM

How would you feel taking the new position?  Would you miss the actual nursing?    Would you make more money in the new job? 

goddess99
by Michelle on Jul. 3, 2013 at 2:55 PM

Idk, I'm a sahm. I would take the more set schedule with holidays off. There's nothing worse than Christmas morning when your kid wakes up all excited and you're at work.

preacherskid
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:20 PM

Change is hard.  Is it equal or better pay?  Same distance, farther, closer to home?  More benefits, less?  It sounds like a fantastic opportunity, one I would jump at if it were me.  I find that major changes work best for me if I don't overthink them, if I weigh my options rationally and make my choice based on facts without paying attention to the nerve wracking part of change until I have actually committed to it.  Once I commit to something I won't back out, no matter how nervous I get.  Your dd will adapt pretty easily, better than you will.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 7:25 PM

This

Quoting preacherskid:

Change is hard.  Is it equal or better pay?  Same distance, farther, closer to home?  More benefits, less?  It sounds like a fantastic opportunity, one I would jump at if it were me.  I find that major changes work best for me if I don't overthink them, if I weigh my options rationally and make my choice based on facts without paying attention to the nerve wracking part of change until I have actually committed to it.  Once I commit to something I won't back out, no matter how nervous I get.  Your dd will adapt pretty easily, better than you will.


ladodger
by Member on Jul. 3, 2013 at 9:55 PM
Thanks for the encouraging words. I thought I was a little over emotional about the while thing. The thought brought an unusual amount if tears today! Well, so I thought this was strange and reminded me of about 2 yrs ago when I had the same weird emotions. Yep, I took a test tonight & it came back positive. So now the decision is even bigger.
The job is with the same facility, so drive time & benefits wouldn't change. Pay may go up a little but I didn't ask that yet, I was caught so off guard by the offer. The good thing is that we have a couple of months before I would start. So hubby & I have a little time to think about it & decide what would be best.
Thank you all for the good points though! I hadn't considered the idea of a really consistent routine. That's a very valid point. There's also the possibility that I would have to pursue day care, which we haven't had to do because gma was able to watch dd for 3 days a week, since she cleans homes & could work around our schedule. Hubby & I discussed paying her what she would miss out on cleaning if she quit & just watched dd(& then new baby). She has never let us pay her anything before but we would insist on it if she watched full time!! That would be the most comforting situation but not even sure she would consider doing it.
Oh, lots of things to think about.
silverthreads
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 4:41 AM

Remember that one of the best ways to "love" your children is for them to have a healthy, happy, mom who is strong and independent.  If this new job would be fulfilling for you then take it and know you are showing only good things to your kids.  Having your children cared for by gma is a godsend.  Take your time and figure out what would be the best emotionally for you.  GL!

preacherskid
by Member on Jul. 4, 2013 at 9:19 AM

Wow congratulations!  That adds another question to the mix- how does pregnancy hit you, and could you handle a job change mid pregnancy, and how will your employer feel about maternity leave just months after you start?

ladodger
by Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 6:24 AM
Last time I was sick!!!! Getting fluids & taking every anti emetic safe for pregnancy. I'm hoping this time is different, but I'm not holding my breath. Silly thing, I actually thought for a second, this could be great because my office would have a bathroom in it instead of running down the hallway to be sick. Yes, not a good reason to take the job.... I will have to let the boss know & see how she feels about it. U honestly don't know. I have every intention of taking all 12 weeks this time.
Excited about baby but worried too. I'm scarred to pieces of being so sick again & how my sweet girl will react. I'm kind of sad about losing our 1:1 time with each other. So far everyone is telling me these are pretty normal feelings. Part of me feels like I should be Mir excited & I hope that comes later!!
SlapItHigh
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 8:10 AM
That's a tough choice. I hope you figure out what works best!
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