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Am I wrong for wanting to be a teen?

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:52 AM
  • 23 Replies
1 mom liked this

So I'm 19 years old and my son is turing one soon, I got pregnant my senior year of high school so I didnt really get to be much of a teen. So is it bad that I want to be abvle to go and do things as a teen sometimes?

My son is always taken care of and has everything he needs; he is the number one priority in my life, I just feel like sometimes I get a bit overwhelmed and I need a break, so my grandma will take him for the weekend; some people dont think I should let that happen. I mean I dont ask every weekend and sometimes I wont ask her to babysit she'll call me because she wants to take him with her places, so it's not like I'm just trying to get rid of him. I love being a mom and just being with my lil man. I just feel exausted.

And sometimes when she has him I wont even go out or hang out with anyone, I'll stay home by myself and just rest and catch up on some sleep and just relax. But lately people have been judging me alot, about the things I say or how I act, or dress or anything. And it's mostly people that don't even know me. The nasty looks I get or the stares I get when I have my son on my hip in a store or something, I can see people whispering as I walk by.

I mean is it wrong for me to still be a teenager and take a break and relax?

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
SlapItHigh
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:17 AM
2 moms liked this

What does "be a teen" mean?  You are a teen by virture of your age.  What activities are you wanting to do?  I think it's totally normal to want a break as a mother.  Mothers of all ages feel that.  But I'm suspicious of what you really mean by this question because you keep pointing out your age.  19 isn't really that young to me.  You had sex -- sex makes babies.  You have a baby.  Should you receive help and have breaks just like any other mother?  Sure!  But your main commitment is to your son.  He needs you just as much as babies born to older moms.  I wonder if there is any validity to all the judgement you are feeling lately?  Only you can really answer that.  If it's not valid then don't let it bother you.  If it's valid then make sure you have your priorities straight and work towards fulfilling those priorities.  

unsuspected
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:42 AM
I had my oldest at 20. I became a full time mom, no weekends off.

To answer your question, is it wrong to "want to be a teen" ... yes, since you are soon to be out of the "teen" title & you are a mom. Yes, you are still an individual and you may need to recharge, but that's what bedtimes are for, and occasional babysitting. But full weekends off? "Sometimes", in the course of a year? No, I think that is selfish.
lovinmykiddo07
by Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:48 AM
1 mom liked this
Every mom needs a break now and then. I had my son at 18, but I never left him anywhere for the weekend so I could " be a teenager". My mom might have watched him do I could run to the store or something, but that's it.

Even now, 6 years later, he may go to a friend for a play date, but never a whole weekend. But then again I almost died when he was 3 months old, and it kind of put things in perspective for me. Made me realize life is short and can change in the blink of an eye.
cindilou13
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 9:47 AM

I don't think you are wrong for wanting the occasional break.  Mom's of any age need some time to themselves just to wind down or get things done sometimes.  But when you say you want to be a 'teen' it gives the impression you want to go out and act like any other kid your age (just hanging out, wasting time, partying), and really, you don't get to do that anymore.  You have to be more mature and responsible by default.  The occasional sitter for a movie, running errands, sure, every so often.  But a whole weekend is a bit much if it's more than once or twice a year.  Maybe next time see if she'll take him one day and do something fun while you relax or meet some friends for lunch and a movie, but then get him back for the rest of the weekend-or join him & grandma in whatever they are doing-he would probably love that, especially as he gets older.

felishalorenne
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 12:07 PM

Alot of you were confused by my whole "being a teen" thing. I dont mean go out and party and stuff, usually when I dont have my son I literally go to dinner with a couple of my girlfriends or we stay in and watch movies and eat ice cream. Or sometimes I stay home by myself and catch up on some sleep. I hope that clariffied things up for you (:

chattycassie
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:36 PM

 I don't think that is wanting to be a teen it is wanting a break. It fine my mom take my kids sometimes on the weekend to give me a break and I am 34. Take the time you need. :) Good luck

chattycassie
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:38 PM

 I guess I am just lucky my mom take my kids at least one weekend a mo to give me a break. I need that time to recharge and get myself re focused. I work full time and go to school part time. I NEED a break some days NOT at all selfish. IMO

Quoting unsuspected:

I had my oldest at 20. I became a full time mom, no weekends off.

To answer your question, is it wrong to "want to be a teen" ... yes, since you are soon to be out of the "teen" title & you are a mom. Yes, you are still an individual and you may need to recharge, but that's what bedtimes are for, and occasional babysitting. But full weekends off? "Sometimes", in the course of a year? No, I think that is selfish.

 

Mommy2bbyboy
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:44 PM

Totally normal girl.

No worries. 

thatgirl70
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2013 at 2:44 PM

I think as long as you are still being a responsible parent, there's nothing wrong with you wanting to do those things. Even at 43 (with a 6 year old), I still like to have a break every now and then (though, I have no interest in the party/club scene). It's just a part of who we are. Being a parent doesn't mean that you have to stop living.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Jul. 12, 2013 at 5:57 PM

As long as your being responsible and taking care of your son there is nothing wrong with having a break. We all need breaks from our kids no matter what age we have kids.

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