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Step Daughter's inapropriate online behavior

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:54 PM
  • 38 Replies
1 mom liked this

My 16 year old step daughter just moved in with us.  It has been hectic as we already have a 2.5 year old and another on the way.  My husband and I gave up our bedroom so she could move in (we now sleep in the livingroom). I have always had my suspisions that her problems at school (bad grades and trouble with other kids) were of her own doing but my husband blames his mother (whom she lived with) for her problems.  My husband and I have recently become friends with her on Facebook.  I see alot of status updates on my page from her that do not appear on my husbands page.  I think she is blocking him from seeing her status updates which I would not tolerate if she were my child.  The ones I have seen include foul language, complaining about other kids, and complaining about materialistic things her grandmother provided for her (ie, a crappy cell phone, her words).  The more I told him about this behavior she started to block me as well.  Now we find out she is going on this teen dating site.  When he confronted her it was obvious she was blowing him off but he doesnt see it that way.  He has a lot of guilt over how she was raised so he acts more like her friend than her parent.  She recieved 4 F's last year and he is talking about getting her an Iphone!!  I think her internet privlages should be taken away until her grades improve and she can show maturity in her FB postings.  I also think she should have to log into her facebook every few weeks with him there so he can see if she is infact blocking him from seeing inappropriate postings of hers.  Am I being to harsh?  I have 2 children of my own to worry about and I dont want them to see daddy cutting her a bunch of slack when he is very strict with them.

by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 1:54 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Jul. 13, 2013 at 2:00 PM
1 mom liked this

I totally agree with you.

Jessicamarquez
by on Jul. 13, 2013 at 2:02 PM
I agree (:
godsgirl26
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2013 at 2:06 PM
I agree with you.
cornillia2013
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 2:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Ur right! He needs to step up and talk to her,not bow down to her. U sound like a great mother! Congrats btw :)
Momofmenagerie
by Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 4:55 AM
I'm on your side.
bellawomen
by Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 5:00 AM
1 mom liked this
All passwords should be known by parents at ALL times.

My son (9) asked for an email address to contact friends over summer. I agreed with the agreement I have all passwords and his email address is also routed to my phone.

Your husband needs to grow a set of balls and parent her. The mother cannot be solely to blame for the bad grades. She was raised like she has been because of him or lack of him (not sure which) as well.
lacyd75
by on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:26 AM

 Agreed. The whole parent feels guilty wants to be the friend thing, well...that rarely turns out so good.

Crafty8852
by Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 10:47 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree! My ds is 13 and I have all of his passwords and logon info and I check on things periodically just to be safe. I couldn't tolerate your sd's behavior as well as you have up to this point, you are a patient woman. Sounds like she's not earning an iPhone to me either, and she should learn to show some gratitude!
Janet
by Ruby Member on Jul. 14, 2013 at 12:28 PM

I agree with you completely.

splatz
by Sarah on Jul. 14, 2013 at 7:32 PM

Thats such a hard spot for you to be in. :(  I totally agree that he needs to do something. He needs to be her parent not her friend.

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