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Am I missing something? Am I a bad mom?

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:37 PM
  • 23 Replies

Hey everyone! Hope you are having a great summer.

I am a mommy of two beautiful girls, 4 and 2, and am also expecting triplets!!!! Between preparing for the new babies, buying a new home (the closing is next week), and trying to make the last summer with just the four of us as memorable as possible, I am beyond busy.

Before everything got crazy, I decided it was important to figure out childcare for the fall. Ayden (4) is going to go to the same preschool she went to last year, but Monday-Friday from 9 to 3. Alexis (2) will be going to school Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 9 to 12. Then I put an ad on Care.com. I decided to find two different people to come to our home, one from 6 AM-12PM and another 12PM-6PM, to start once the babies are born or if I go on bedrest.

I have an interview with four different girls tomorrow.  I've already background checked all of them and they all all have two excellent references. I was talking to a friend (who was asking about what I am doing for childcare in the fall by the way!) and she basically said I was a bad mom for spending all that money on childcare.

I'm not trying to dump my kids off on anyone! Of course I would love to have all my kids stay home with me. However, it would be totally unfair if I did that because I wouldn't possibly be able to give them the attention they need while taking care of three babies myself. This is why I thought it'd be good for them to have some sort of regular routine at school. Plus by having an extra set of hands, sometimes I'll be able to spread myself out a little better.

I am putting a lot of effort into making sure I am doing best for them. The girls are enrolled in a really good school that is very nurturing but also teaches them a lot. I am also trying to hire the perfect people to come to our home that will mesh with our family. I planned on having them over throughout the next couple months to make sure it is a comfortable match, even maybe have a day out together.

So, does this make me a bad mom? Should you not hire outside help even if you can't possibly give them all the attention they need? This is a serious question. I just wonder if I'm missing something.

by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
catevincesmom
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:45 PM

If you need help, you need help.  5 kids, esp 3 newborns @ one time, is a huge task.  One I don't envy you.  It looks like you're trying to do right by hiring good people.  Good luck.

goddess99
by Michelle on Jul. 25, 2013 at 8:57 PM

I don't think it makes you a bad mom. Triplets is more work than most moms could ever imagine. I hope your interviews go well.

Tara062681
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 9:43 PM

This absolutely does not make you a bad mom! In fact it shows what a good mom you are in preparing for all of your children to be sure they all get the attention and care they need. No one likes a mama that's stretched too thin! Best of luck!!

Indiemom880
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:05 PM
Oh jeez, it drives me nuts to hear moms criticize other moms for using nannies I mean maybe if you never ever see the kid yourself its kinda mean but seriously, as long as your children's needs are being met, who cares!

Five kids is a lot when they're all really young! I only have 2 and I'm ready to pull my hair out some days! Congrats on the triplets mama!
Janet
by Ruby Member on Jul. 25, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Your doing the right thing for everyone. Congratulations on the triplets!
SlapItHigh
by on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:05 PM
Sounds like a good idea l get some help with triplets. Don't let the bastards get you down!
splatz
by Sarah on Jul. 25, 2013 at 11:31 PM

I can't even imagine triplets. If you can afford the extra help, then by all means do it! I think it would be better for your kids in the long run. There is no way you can evenly divide your time between the five of them without a little help. 

lawyermomwan
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 2:38 PM

You are not a bad mom...with 3 babies at one time you need all of the help you can get...your friend should support you not tear you down...you might want to reconsider her being a friend...she sounds more like an aquaintance... Wishing you the best!

TimetoMomUp
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 7:48 PM

I think what you are doing is wise.  Triplets will be hard and you are ensuring that the older ones will get the attention they need to learn and socialize while also making sure you have help with the three littles.  

KRIZZ25
by Member on Jul. 26, 2013 at 8:06 PM
CAN U GET HELP FROM FAMILY AT FIRST . OR CHURCH FOKE.
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