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My Husband Just Shot my Hopes down the Drain

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We were all on board to try for our second child next in a few months then out of no where he decides he wants to wait another year. I am so pissed. Reason, I just found the pefect doctor, I am in perfect health, I am at my ideal weight, I have the perfect health insurance, I love my job and our budget is great. To make matters better our DS in pretty much potty training himself and doing great in daycare. Last time, I listened to him I ended up with sucky insurance, a shitty doctor, and many health problems to follow from the L&D staff messing up. We were all on board and I don't know what happened. He also wants to back out of getting me the house which is fine because the one he wants is bigger. I just don't feel like I'm being valued.

by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 4:12 PM
Replies (21-30):
by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:59 AM

I'm very sorry - sometimes husbands don't always know what's best ... maybe a face to face conversation weighing the pros and cons is needed !

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:47 AM

Quoting BluLady:

He says that it's money he's concerned about but we've never been as better off as we are now. He's just cheap in my opinion. It just frustrates me because I just found out that my doctor thinks I have endometriosis so waiting could me no more children

My husband just this year finally agreed to another baby. He was also worried about the cost. We like you all have never been in a better place. Then Friday night he told me, when he thinks about what it all involves he thinks about the cost, he is bothered, but if it were to just happen he would be fine. He finally said he would be just as happy either way and that he understands that his thinking is just him being overly cautious. Good luck. Talk more about it with him and let him know how you feel

by Gold Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:50 AM

At least you guys are considering having another even if its a wait. Be thankful. If your not on the same page right now then its not a good idea. A wait might be good. Enjoy your son and his milestones. He is still little. This way you can plan ahead and make a new baby exciting when he can understand it more that mommy is gonna have a baby. My husband didnt want kids at all. I got pregnant with my first daughter because i stopped using birth control and used thow film things that disolve inside you before intercourse. Dont work ;)  After she was born he said no more. Well 3 yrs later we messed around and was being careless and i got pregnant. Lost that baby at 7 weeks along Sep 27th of 2011. I had a hard time and of course wanted another. A month after that, November 1st 2011 we were gonna start trying. He tells me that he just couldnt do it. He didnt want anymore. I was devistated and i just couldnt speak to him. Tough time. He caved in a week later and we ended up trying and now my baby girl is 11 months old. We are done and their is no way we want any more. My girls are 4 yrs apart in age. If the dicision was made that he didnt want anymore then i was gonna live with it. I love my husband to much to let a baby that didnt exist come between us. Im sure i would have had to get some counseling or something because it was very hard and im still dealing with emotions from my misscariage and probly always will. But not worth breaking up my family.

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:51 AM

I would say to wait, he isn't asking you to wait forever. Talk to him about it though, if he still isn't ready then don't pressure him, it isn't just your decision.

CafeMom Tickers

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:31 PM

Speak up to your husband.  Your husband has some kind of issue he is not telling you.

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:49 PM

At 40 with endometriosis, you really may not have another year to wait.  Does he understand this?  He could be ruining the chances of ever having another baby.

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:51 PM

Ask him why he wants to wait.  Explain why you don't.  Tell him how you feel and explain clearly why you want to go ahead.

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:06 PM

 Have you sat down & asked him why he wants to wait another year since you were both on board for TTC?

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:18 PM

Well, if you are iwllingt o compromise on the house that's great! But I would really be upset about the kid situation. 

by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 2:05 PM
You can never go back and make your kids closer in age. When they are spaced far apart, they will never be playmates. The older one ends up babysitting.
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