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My husband thinks I should never have "me" time?

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I have 3 kids at home, and work full time. I do not drink or party, I'm 40 yrs old, so been there, done all that. All my mom friends have monthly gatherings at each others houses to hang out, and everyone brings a dish to eat. Or if there is a birthday, I may get an invite to go out to dinner with some girlfriends. My husband completely disagrees that I should ever want to be away from my children, even for 2 hours. He gives me guilt trips and tries to make me feel like a bad mom. He has no friends or desire to go anywhere other than work, so he doesn't understand why I might need a break. Am I wrong?
by on Jul. 26, 2013 at 9:49 PM
Replies (41-50):
Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 10:52 AM

we all need some "away" time from the chaos.  I find time to get away just for a couple hours every week.  I go for my hair or to get my nails done, or a pedicure.  Or I go shopping.    I find myself driving in silence without the radio even being on because I enjoy the silence LOL.

Could it be that your husband just doesn't want to be left alone with the kids ?

cindilou13
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:18 AM

You aren't wrong.  Mine does the same thing. Because he doesn't have any friends he doesn't think I should either.

DevotedMotheof3
by New Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:19 AM

No you are not wrong, but it is typical for him to feel that way because he does not go anywhere

Quoting Pacaa9305:

I have 3 kids at home, and work full time. I do not drink or party, I'm 40 yrs old, so been there, done all that. All my mom friends have monthly gatherings at each others houses to hang out, and everyone brings a dish to eat. Or if there is a birthday, I may get an invite to go out to dinner with some girlfriends. My husband completely disagrees that I should ever want to be away from my children, even for 2 hours. He gives me guilt trips and tries to make me feel like a bad mom. He has no friends or desire to go anywhere other than work, so he doesn't understand why I might need a break. Am I wrong?


Elle.tea.22
by Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 11:24 AM
I would laugh in his face.
SpiritFortress
by Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:05 PM

No, you aren't wrong in wanting time for yourself. Don't let his guilt trips work. Tell him what your needs are and do what you need. When we become moms and/or wives we don't give up our right to be an individual. We're not slaves, we're still people. 

MommyKir
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:20 PM

No you are not wrong in wanting to go out once a month with other moms... Just because your DH is anti-social does not mean he can force you to be as well. everyone has different social needs and should respect that their spouse may feel differently. If he s giving you a guilt trip for seeing other moms once a month or so, why doesn't he fell guilty that this is something you would really enjoy and he isnt willing to watch HIS kids for a few hours.... is he not the parent as well? I think if anyone should feel guilty it should be him, this is something that you would enjoy and could learn a few extra parenting tips from and hes holding you back from that.

KenneMaw
by Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:38 PM

You are right.  He is wrong.  I always need "me" time but my time is just me - I am around people all day :-)

Melissa_4
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:47 PM

No, he's wrong.  A happy mom is a good mom, and we all need breaks from time to time.  It's healthy for you to have some time to be an adult and connect with other adults, and it's healthy for the little ones to see that mom can go out and come back.  

EarlGrayHot
by on Jul. 30, 2013 at 12:56 PM

This is not apprpriate behavior on your husband's part.  A healthy relationship does not have one person controlling the other.  This does not bode well and could be the start of an abusive controlling relationship.  Does he get angry when you say you want to go somewhere?  In fact, I don't think I EVER begged permision to do anything from my dear hubby.  I just said I wanted to do whatever, go shopping, visit someone, asked if he wanted to come with and that was it.  I was never afraid he would say no.  We were a team and didn't control each other in the fashion you're describing.  In fact, he often cleaned and fixed meals so I could do what I wanted (write, paint)  and I never got any attitude about it.

kattcooper
by Member on Jul. 30, 2013 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this
This EXACTLY!! Even down to the wine haha! :)



Quoting Spoiled_Blonde:

Uh.... If my hubby did that to me I would probably leave him. Ok maybe not leave him but we would have a serious talk. That is ridiculous that your hubby is like that. Every mom needs time to be herself and have "me" time. I'm sorry you are going through this. My dh and I have never had an issue like that before. We have 4 vacations a year, 2 are family, one is just dh and I the other is he gets a week long boys only week and I get a week long girls only week. I don't think you are wrong at all. I agree with the previous post. Good luck =)



Edit: Also I have me time every 2 weeks when I get my nails done and every 4 weeks when I get my hair done.. He even drops me off for my hair because its my bestie who does it and we really like wine... lol


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