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its all my fault :/

Posted by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 1:31 PM
  • 20 Replies
my DD is a year old, i left her BF when she was 2 months old, he wouldnt help me at all, he worked security, i understand he was tired, he wouldnt get home till maybe midnight, after the whole day of me cleaning, laundry, cooking taking care of a new born he would expect me to cook him a big hot meal right then instead of heating up what i fixed early that day or a TV dinner i bought him for such occasions, he wouldnt change her wouldnt feed her wouldnt do anything on top of that he was abusive, i was raped when DD was 2 weeks old, yes i said weeks, i wasnt bleeding anymore, but was still afraid of blowing a blood clot, i wasnt allowed to leave the house unless he was with me i couldnt take DD anywhere, well after we split up i didnt want him taking her out of my house, i said him and anyone he wanted could come to my house and stay a few hours with DD that wasnt good enough for his mom, she took me to court, and the judge at first granted supervised visitation then a few hours at his house without me, then overnight, then when she turned a year it turned into two nights, and he can take a one week vacation....he now has her for 9 days, since he gets her wednesday to friday thats the only way it will work, im freaking out, i miss DD so much me and DH are losing our minds, DH loves DD and DD loves DH she goes thru the house reaching for him calling him DADA which we didnt teach her. i miss her so much and its all my fault i should have lied to him and told him it wasnt his, when he told me i cheated on him (which i did but it was 2months before i was even pregnant) i dont like to lie, my father taught me better but even my dad said i should have lied and now DD has seperation anxiety we all have to be in one room with her, she will come home and throw fits and everything :( its all my fault i feel like a failure and such a bad mommy :(
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by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 1:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Aug. 1, 2013 at 3:10 PM

I'm sorry, unfortunately biodads have rights too. I've been there.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Aug. 1, 2013 at 4:12 PM

Sorry seems like you're going through a tough time !  I understand it can't be easy fro your daughter.  I think you did your best.  You can't be blamed for everything your ex sounds like an ass.

 I guess I can consider myself lucky that my ex doesn't seek shared custody.  Although I think I'd have a field day in court !!!!! I don't think he'd ever get it

mileysmom331
by on Aug. 1, 2013 at 4:37 PM

he didnt want shared custody praise God, he put me as the primary parent but he wanted or his mom and mamaw wanted visitation, DH tries as hard as he can to comfort me but with me being 6 1/2 months pregnant and hormonal all this is just amplified lol


Quoting Jinxed8:

Sorry seems like you're going through a tough time !  I understand it can't be easy fro your daughter.  I think you did your best.  You can't be blamed for everything your ex sounds like an ass.

 I guess I can consider myself lucky that my ex doesn't seek shared custody.  Although I think I'd have a field day in court !!!!! I don't think he'd ever get it



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mxcanapochamama
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 4:29 PM
First of No your not a bad mom, and second Wow he sounds like a nightmare. But anyways Its not your fault you never knew things would turn out to be this way and as long as your baby is safe then you really cant and shouldnt do anything. He is the father, they are the grandmas and they should be able to be with her too. But make sure she is safe and dont take any lil sign of her behaving diff for granted. Sorry but he sounds like a horrible person, wouldnt want anything to happen to your dd

MamìMexicana?

SlapItHigh
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 4:46 PM

I'm sorry you are experiencing this distress.  I know it feels like you wish you could do anything to get out of this but lying would not have been the answer.  It wouldn't be fair to your daughter or her family on her dad's side including her dad.  

mileysmom331
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 6:15 PM

thats just it idk if she is safe, i cant call and check on her he wont let me, he wont answer the phone no one will, she has come home with black eyes and everything, in all my time with her everytime she falls or anything she has never gotten a black eye, i mean he was abusive to me how do i know that he wont be to DD :/ i know i need to step back and let things unfold themselves as my daddy says "let him hang himself with the things he is doing" but i cant its hard because its my DD she is my baby she is my first and i dont wanna lose her in anyway at all i mean to this day when she cries due to her teeth or tummy troubles i will cry because there is nothing i can do to take the pain away cause sometimes gripe water, gas drops and teething pills or tylenol/motrin doesnt help :/


Quoting mxcanapochamama:

First of No your not a bad mom, and second Wow he sounds like a nightmare. But anyways Its not your fault you never knew things would turn out to be this way and as long as your baby is safe then you really cant and shouldnt do anything. He is the father, they are the grandmas and they should be able to be with her too. But make sure she is safe and dont take any lil sign of her behaving diff for granted. Sorry but he sounds like a horrible person, wouldnt want anything to happen to your dd



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mxcanapochamama
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 8:04 PM
Quoting mileysmom331:

thats just it idk if she is safe, i cant call and check on her he wont let me, he wont answer the phone no one will, she has come home with black eyes and everything, in all my time with her everytime she falls or anything she has never gotten a black eye, i mean he was abusive to me how do i know that he wont be to DD :/ i know i need to step back and let things unfold themselves as my daddy says "let him hang himself with the things he is doing" but i cant its hard because its my DD she is my baby she is my first and i dont wanna lose her in anyway at all i mean to this day when she cries due to her teeth or tummy troubles i will cry because there is nothing i can do to take the pain away cause sometimes gripe water, gas drops and teething pills or tylenol/motrin doesnt help :/


Quoting mxcanapochamama:

First of No your not a bad mom, and second Wow he sounds like a nightmare. But anyways Its not your fault you never knew things would turn out to be this way and as long as your baby is safe then you really cant and shouldnt do anything. He is the father, they are the grandmas and they should be able to be with her too. But make sure she is safe and dont take any lil sign of her behaving diff for granted. Sorry but he sounds like a horrible person, wouldnt want anything to happen to your dd



Thats exactly what I meant by dont ignore the lil signs. If shes coming home with unusual bruising and odd behavior, those are red flags. You need to involve CPS so they can cancel his visitation rights. you have to wait till this happens again and go strait to CPS or call. A friend of my hubby did that with his ex-wife and now shes not allowed near the kid without a sheriff and she can never take him with.

MamìMexicana?

shellyplatz
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 8:25 PM

Always document everything!!! Take pictures of bumps, bruises, marks. Document if he comes late, drops her off late or doesn't show up for his visit.

Quoting mileysmom331:

thats just it idk if she is safe, i cant call and check on her he wont let me, he wont answer the phone no one will, she has come home with black eyes and everything, in all my time with her everytime she falls or anything she has never gotten a black eye, i mean he was abusive to me how do i know that he wont be to DD :/ i know i need to step back and let things unfold themselves as my daddy says "let him hang himself with the things he is doing" but i cant its hard because its my DD she is my baby she is my first and i dont wanna lose her in anyway at all i mean to this day when she cries due to her teeth or tummy troubles i will cry because there is nothing i can do to take the pain away cause sometimes gripe water, gas drops and teething pills or tylenol/motrin doesnt help :/


Quoting mxcanapochamama:

First of No your not a bad mom, and second Wow he sounds like a nightmare. But anyways Its not your fault you never knew things would turn out to be this way and as long as your baby is safe then you really cant and shouldnt do anything. He is the father, they are the grandmas and they should be able to be with her too. But make sure she is safe and dont take any lil sign of her behaving diff for granted. Sorry but he sounds like a horrible person, wouldnt want anything to happen to your dd




mileysmom331
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 8:37 PM

we took all the stuff the harrassing, the pictures of the cuts and bruises and he didnt say anything, when my dad was working on the trailer he is now living in he told me had black mold in it and she comes home smelling awful she use to have a runny nose and a cough everytime she would come home he has ferrets and he doesnt clean the cages out (he didnt when he lived with me and my parents) he has a cat she has come home with cat scratches on her face but that lawyer just shrugged it off we called the police the other day because he passed my truck in a 40 going 60 or above with my baby in his vehicle i was doing a good 50 (yes im a bit of a speed demon when i dont have DD) and he passed us and was gone we couldnt catch up to him, we have a scanner app and they never caught him :/ im so scared.


Quoting mxcanapochamama:

Quoting mileysmom331:

thats just it idk if she is safe, i cant call and check on her he wont let me, he wont answer the phone no one will, she has come home with black eyes and everything, in all my time with her everytime she falls or anything she has never gotten a black eye, i mean he was abusive to me how do i know that he wont be to DD :/ i know i need to step back and let things unfold themselves as my daddy says "let him hang himself with the things he is doing" but i cant its hard because its my DD she is my baby she is my first and i dont wanna lose her in anyway at all i mean to this day when she cries due to her teeth or tummy troubles i will cry because there is nothing i can do to take the pain away cause sometimes gripe water, gas drops and teething pills or tylenol/motrin doesnt help :/


Quoting mxcanapochamama:

First of No your not a bad mom, and second Wow he sounds like a nightmare. But anyways Its not your fault you never knew things would turn out to be this way and as long as your baby is safe then you really cant and shouldnt do anything. He is the father, they are the grandmas and they should be able to be with her too. But make sure she is safe and dont take any lil sign of her behaving diff for granted. Sorry but he sounds like a horrible person, wouldnt want anything to happen to your dd



Thats exactly what I meant by dont ignore the lil signs. If shes coming home with unusual bruising and odd behavior, those are red flags. You need to involve CPS so they can cancel his visitation rights. you have to wait till this happens again and go strait to CPS or call. A friend of my hubby did that with his ex-wife and now shes not allowed near the kid without a sheriff and she can never take him with.



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mileysmom331
by on Aug. 2, 2013 at 8:38 PM
we always do everytime he calls, the court order says we have to communicate on fb but he blocked me so we have no way of communication but i have pictures and everything.
Quoting shellyplatz:

Always document everything!!! Take pictures of bumps, bruises, marks. Document if he comes late, drops her off late or doesn't show up for his visit.

Quoting mileysmom331:

thats just it idk if she is safe, i cant call and check on her he wont let me, he wont answer the phone no one will, she has come home with black eyes and everything, in all my time with her everytime she falls or anything she has never gotten a black eye, i mean he was abusive to me how do i know that he wont be to DD :/ i know i need to step back and let things unfold themselves as my daddy says "let him hang himself with the things he is doing" but i cant its hard because its my DD she is my baby she is my first and i dont wanna lose her in anyway at all i mean to this day when she cries due to her teeth or tummy troubles i will cry because there is nothing i can do to take the pain away cause sometimes gripe water, gas drops and teething pills or tylenol/motrin doesnt help :/


Quoting mxcanapochamama:

First of No your not a bad mom, and second Wow he sounds like a nightmare. But anyways Its not your fault you never knew things would turn out to be this way and as long as your baby is safe then you really cant and shouldnt do anything. He is the father, they are the grandmas and they should be able to be with her too. But make sure she is safe and dont take any lil sign of her behaving diff for granted. Sorry but he sounds like a horrible person, wouldnt want anything to happen to your dd





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