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Need to VENT about my Husband!! Please Read and give your opinion.

Posted by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:44 AM
  • 17 Replies

Ok first of all I'm 25 years old and he's 24 years old...we've been together for almost 8 years but married 2 years and have a 5 year old that will be going to Kindergarten in a cple weeks. I'm a stay at home mom and he works 3rds...ANYWHO...he's a very caring person likes to help out his family out and mine which is totally fine. I'm the one that figures out what were spending each week on bills and I write it all down on paper so he can look at it anytime....and I'm not gonna lie we are in debt with credit cards and what not "thank god I cut alllll my cards up a cple years ago" but anyways His mom is married and they both work their house is paid off, her husband drinks and plays lottery everyday it seems like and they both smoke cigs...My mom is single, pays a $500 rent, and all her other bills her self and she smoke cigs "yucky"...But what I don't get is his mom likes to talk to her son "my husband" about how there behind in bills or ugh i'm not gonna have enough money to pay our cell phone bill this month when she knows how he is..He would do anything to help his mom...which I kinda understand...I guess.... she had sugery last week and is off of work for 2 weeks BUT her husband is still working... and of course me and my husband is on her cell phone plain and we pay our share of $136 and so is his sister but her mommy pays for her cell phone that is a SMART PHONE smh... she doesn't work, lives off of the goverment, and won't get a job becuase she doesn't wanna pay rent and she is 23 years old...but  anyways this month is horrible with bills, school fees, supplies, clothes, soccer fee, and etc.. But my husband is working 12 hour days just so he can pay the cell phone bill of $300.00!!! Why the hell can't her husband work over!!! and I'm stressing over it because if we pay that we won't be able to get groceries! and last week we couldn't cuz we didn't have any money left after bills which was fine cuz we had a lot of grocerys but this week were getting pretty low..and I keep telling him I'm fine with helping out family BUT we need to make sure we get our bills paid, food, and make sure our daughter has everything she needs like medicine, etc. but noooo everytime I talk with him about this he goes whatever your stupid and calls me names or whatever...and then he goes are you seriously worried about getting food this Friday...if we need to we got plenty of family that lives around us we can just go there and eat..HELL NO i'm not gonna have other people take care of us just because your mom and dad don't know how to save money and pay their own bills...I mean come on ugh I think if we would get divorced it's because of over money and him not caring and not wanting to make sure were good with money before he goes and agrees to pay his moms or sister stuff...which!!! he NEVER talks to me before he agrees to paying his moms bills to get my opinion... I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm just ready to call his mom up and just tell her hey you got to stop telling chris "my husband" your money problems because he will go out of his way to help her and not care if were late on one of our bills or one time my daughter had a fever we couldn't even buy some pain/fever meds for her cuz we didn't have any money!!!! how sad is that...

I know it's his money blah blah blah but our family comes first thennnn we can help family out IF we can and got the money too.  But yeah my single mom can pay her own bills she has only ask us a cple times to help her out but it's mostly to bring some food over when me and my daughter comes over and thats it. doens't make ANY sense at allllll. :-(

Sorry for so long and it's probably so confusing but if you could please tell me what i should do.

by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 12:44 AM
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by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 2:23 AM
I know you are married but if he do not agree with you there is going to be a never ending problem. It seems as if because he is the one that is earning the money, he feel he should do what he want.
My husband is great and would never do this, but even thought I am a stay at home mom I still contribute to finances.
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 3:23 AM
He sounds like hes not putting his family first...seems as tho he doesnt know how to say no..if u are willing to listen i have an opportunity that may be of your interest..we are in the same boat and im tired of struggling to make ends not married but me n my babys father live tgthr with his parents and my 4 yr old daughter n 5 mnth old son..he jus started this new job 2 wks ago n i cant wait to move out..if u wanna make sum extra cash n u r willing to invest time this will benefit u n ur fam in the long run..its not a get rich quik scheme..the amount u make is up to u..i jus started with the company literally last friday n got my kit today. email me if your interesd..i jus thought i wud share it with u cuz we have alot in common...

by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:04 AM
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I'm sorry. That's a difficult situation. It does sound like he has a problem saying no, and that could be why his mother shares her financial woes with him. I know you said you make a list of expenses and show it to him, but maybe if you have him pay the bills one month it'll help him see what your saying.

You may want to look into getting your own cell phone plan. You would probably be paying the same or a bit less for it.
by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 4:06 AM

Get your own cell phone plan???

by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 7:24 AM

Quoting DieselsMom:

Get your own cell phone plan???

I did and we have a basic tracphone.I was paying my share to my mom but my brother wasnt!THIS!!!

by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 7:28 AM
How terrible. You really have to talk to your husband. He can't put his mom ahead of his family.
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by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:07 AM
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Thanks everyone for your advice! and before we was on our own but he would still pay her cell phone or any other bills when were not even it's like she kinda uses him because she know he would use his money to pay her bills or whatever...

but everytime I start talking about money or about him helping his mom out when we don't have enough money to he whines and we start argueing everytime...and I'm just get fed up with it...I'm trying not to stress about it because if he thinks were good with money and he's not stressing then I shouldn't but it's just coming to the point where this needs to stop and we need to worry about ourselfes first. but he's a man and thinks he's always right and I can't ever get a word in.

by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:17 AM
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honey, tell your husband to put on his big boy pants and tell   ANY family besides his very own with you that he cant afford to give other people money when there is very little to spare when it comes to his own, your child shouldnt have to go withour pain meds because someone mooched money  off of him.tell your family and his the atm is closed, there will be NO more money handed out dont bother to ask, your husband is working 12 hour days, and BOTH of your families are mooching money off of you..SHAMEFUL!!  charity begins at home! next time the child is running a fever, put the tot in bathtub full of lavendar soap or shampoo, it brings their fever down and helps relieve congestion.

by on Aug. 15, 2013 at 9:46 AM
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ok first thing i see wrong here is its not HIS guys are married.. it YOUR MONEY TO. and you are working to...your a SAHM and so am i. its work. and you guys are a family... he needs to make sure you guys are good. Im sorry i know alot of people are having ruff times with money, but you have to TAKE CARE OF YOU GUYS FiRST. Your going to have to talk to him and he needs to make some changes. 

I can say that calling his mom at this point is prob not a good idea, its not going to get you anywhere more than likely and your hubby might get really pissed so i would talk to him before going down that road. Its a tuff situation but the way i see it is, if he cant  talk to you about it first or tell her he has to take care of his wife and kid first then he is notv worth your time. And going to family close by to eat...seriosuly.... thats such a man thing to say! I would laugh in his face! 

Good luck! 

by Ruby Member on Aug. 15, 2013 at 1:20 PM
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When you run out of money see what he does then. He might decide to do things different.

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