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25 Fake Swears Parents Use in Front of the Kids

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 12:01 PM
  • 12 Replies

25 Fake Swears Parents Use in Front of the Kids

by Jeanne Sager


little girlThe first time my daughter dropped something and said "fudge ripple ice cream," I breathed a huge sigh of relief. She wasn't asking for a sweet treat. She was copying me, specifically copying my go-to "curse" word.

Yes, occasionally I curse in front of my kid. But I try not to do it very often, and so I've got some "fake" curses up my sleeve, words I use in place of the really bad four-letter words that I want to say ... but shouldn't.

Fudge ripple ice cream, in case you haven't guessed, is what comes out of my mouth when I want to drop an F-bomb. It gets the job done, but I'll admit it's pretty comical, even a tad bit ridiculous

But if you think that's bad, just wait until you hear some of the crazy things parents say just to avoid using bad words in front of their kids!

More from The Stir: 16 of the Craziest Things Perfectly Normal Parents Have Said

Parents 'fessed up to all of the following:

1. Oh Buzzard Soups!

2. Zip it, Happy Meal! (stolen from Despicable Me)

3. Schmaltz (s**t),

4. Fudge graham (f**k)

5. Holy guacamole

6. My brother likes to yell "son of a BEAVER!" when he needs to swear and his kids are around. I like it because it still sounds dirty.

7. I curse in front of [my kids] but on the occasion I remember in front of other people's kids, I use "oh, sugar snaps!"

8. [My daughter] came up with "jingledarnit" as an alternative to swearing when we talked about it.

9. Shut the front door!

10. Flipping (in place of the other F-bomb).

Swear Words for Parents11. Razzle-frazzit! (Came from an old Looney Tunes)

12. I say, "Oh coconuts," though I think I stole that from Jake and the Neverland Pirates.

13. I am always yelling "GARBAGE!" It takes the place of many words I want to use...

14. I used to say, "Oh crap" all the time. Not exactly the worst curse word, but one day as I was about to scream it I noticed my 4-year-old looking right at me, so, "Oh crumbcake" came out and it stuck!

15. Sugar pie (in place of sh*t).

16. Nuckin futs!

17. Flip flop for f**k

18. Oh mustard for oh sh*t

19. Hockey Sticks (for Hell)

20. Ish (for sh*t)

21. Fanabala (f**k)

22. My mom says "oh fart" instead of the f word.

23. Friggers (for f**ers)

24. Fudge ripple ice cream

25. Frick (for f**k)

What are your go-to fake curse words?

by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 12:01 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ZakkarysMom
by Gold Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 12:04 PM
I don't have any fake curse words. I just try not to curse in front of my boys.
Reina13
by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 12:28 PM

I say 'oh SNAP' in place of 'oh sh**'

MagicTemptation
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Some of these are quite funny!

Dh and I generally do not sensor how we talk in front of our kids. We are not big cussers. We may cuss if we drop or break something (oh sh*t, or d*** it) If something bad happens we might say, "this f***ing sucks" or "well hell" or "what the hell were they thinking?" We do not call anyone a cuss word.

The way I explained it to our kids is that, telling a person that they are stupid, even though stupid is not a cuss word is more damaging than saying "d*** it" if they drop something. Words are only as powerful as the meaning you put behind it. 

LizS84
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 12:46 PM
My husband says 'son if a biscuit' and 'farfignugin' (sp?)[far-fig-new-gin , accent on the far]
LizS84
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 12:46 PM
My husband says 'son if a biscuit' and 'farfignugin' (sp?)[far-fig-new-gin , accent on the far]
johnny4ever
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Having a great birthday!
Yesterday at 4:52 PM
by Mrs. Depp on Aug. 19, 2013 at 2:47 PM

Than you for these helpers!lol

johnny4ever
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Having a great birthday!
Yesterday at 4:52 PM
by Mrs. Depp on Aug. 19, 2013 at 2:48 PM

Hubby says son of a bisquit!

johnny4ever
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Having a great birthday!
Yesterday at 4:52 PM
by Mrs. Depp on Aug. 19, 2013 at 2:48 PM

I say Shut the Front Door!

Momofmenagerie
by Bronze Member on Aug. 19, 2013 at 2:54 PM
Monkey Butts! Covers all of them and my kids laugh and ate highly unlikely to get in trouble for repeating it.
Fffffrack! Is also used and stolen from the many shows on Si-Fi channel
BreezeAlanna
by on Aug. 19, 2013 at 2:54 PM

I always say... MOTHER- FATHER!

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