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Surrogate Left With Twin Babies After Parents Divorce

Posted by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 6:23 PM
  • 17 Replies
1 mom liked this

Surrogate Left With Twin Babies After Parents Divorce — Crazy!

Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump
Photo: Thinkstock / The Bump

Susan Ring, a gestational carrier, gave a candid interview to HuffPost Live where she shared what happened when the family she was carrying for decided they didn’t want their twin babies anymore — 14 weeks into her surrogate pregnancy. Ring, a gestational carrier for over 11 years, had previously birthed a son to the couple, so when they asked her to carry for them again, she was more than willing.

She told HuffPost Live, that the “first time around was actually really good. I had a little boy for the same couple. So there was no reason to think that anything could go wrong, because the first time was so brilliantly wonderful.” In addition to birthing a son for this couple, Ring has also been a surrogate mother for 7 other babies. But just 14 weeks into her second pregnancy (this time, Ring was pregnant with twins!), the couple informed her that they were divorcing and they no longer wanted their babies.

She said, “It was perplexing because the question I kept asking was ‘why? How can this possibly happen?’ I mean, it just doesn’t make sense — they go to these extremes to have children, and then all of a sudden they just don’t want to carry on with the pregnancy. And I was about 14 weeks along at the time. I tried to work it through the whole thing, and kept trying to tell them ‘my gosh, you’ve got to keep the babies. These are your babies — they are genetically linked to your son. ‘”

After Ring gave birth to the twins, the couple refused to take their babies home with them. With limited options, Ring decided to take care of the babies herself. She told host Nancy Redd, “I ended up taking them home with me because I just didn’t have the heart to put them into social services. I couldn’t do it, just every fiber of my being said, ‘no way, I’m taking them home.’ I had to name them — I gave them my last name — I had them with me for three months, until I was actually awarded parentage and became the first mother in California, gestational surrogate mother, to become the legal parents to children who were not biologically mine.”

Though her legal woes were settled, life with twin babies wasn’t exactly an easy financial adjustment. When the couple had decided to use the surrogacy agency again, prior to splitting up, they made an arrangement on good faith to pay for the services with “progress payments” instead of having to come up with the payment all at once at the start.

Ultimately, Ring said, that was a huge mistake. She said, “They didn’t have the funds up front — big, huge mistake. Nothing to help the babies, nothing to take care of the babies, nothing to buy supplies. So financially, I was taking care of twins and my own kids and daycare kids and it was difficult. But it was well worth it in the end.”

*Note: The twins picture above are not the twin babies featured in the story. 

Do you think that you would be able to do what this surrogate did?

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by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 6:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
notjstanothrmom
by Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 8:38 PM
5 moms liked this

Wow! That is interesting for sure. Since they weren't biologically hers, if I was in that situation and I was unable to provide for them or did not want anymore children I would most likely take them home and place them together with an infertile adoptive family. I would have done what I set out to do which is give a family children.

Jenn8604
by Bronze Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 8:41 PM
1 mom liked this
I would have probably been like her and kept them.
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splatz
by Sarah on Aug. 20, 2013 at 9:01 PM
1 mom liked this

I just can't imagine after all that not wanting the babies. So sad. :(

SlapItHigh
by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 9:57 PM
1 mom liked this
I would not be a surrogate. Ever. What a terrible story :(.
newwifenmom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 11:20 PM
2 moms liked this

I could never be a surrogate but if for some reason I found myself in that situation, I'd do the same.

Gooberzilla
by on Aug. 20, 2013 at 11:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't understand the divorcing couple.  Regardless of whether I was divorcing my husband I would still want my babies. 

As for the surrogate, I think it would depend on my personal situation.  I think if I was not interested in parenting (which I would not be if I was a surrogate) then I would look into adoption.  I would not place the babies with social services, but I would look into adoption to another infertile couple.

BraydensMama163
by Member on Aug. 20, 2013 at 11:39 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd have kept them as well. If I had the balls to be a surrogate in the first place (which I don't)
Noni2319
by Chrissy on Aug. 21, 2013 at 8:44 AM
Wow.
Janet
by Ruby Member on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:29 AM
1 mom liked this

Divorce or not, I would still want my babies. What is wrong with these people! I don't know what I would do in this situation.

illinoismommy83
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:31 AM

I would have placed them with another couple. Why take on babies you cannot afford that are not even biologically yours? 

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