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does it get easier?

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 9:51 PM
  • 18 Replies

when u have to give up ur baby for visitations to his/her birth father?

 

i was always told it would be easier as time went on but it doesnt seem that way, everytime we show her a picture of her birth father she runs and hides her face or shakes her head no, we show her a picture of my DH she says "DADA" and goes straight to him, when we have to hand her over, her birth father literally has to grab her and jerk here away because she is shaking her head no, screaming crying and holding on to our clothes for dear life either screaming for "MAMA" MAMAW" or "DADA"

yes its court ordered he take her but if she is acting like that how could u do that, im sorry but if it were the other way around i would not make her go, sure it would be hard on me but i wouldnt torture DD like that. he doesnt even want her, he never did not even when i was pregnant his mom and mamaw made him take me to court and everything else, she comes home with ten thousand times more bruises (yes i exaggerated) than she ever gets here, black eyes, she smells awful, she drinks like she hasnt had anything since she left, and she will always go straight to her bed and lay down and go to sleep.

i mean with her acting like this toward her birth father is this cause for alarm could he be abusive to her like he was me (long story about why he even has her, lets just say the judge said i was a liar) is it just a phase? does she really not like him i mean a neighbor told us she heard DD scream while he was driving past her house, thats not normal! and this is a good christian lady who i know would not lie especially when she doesnt know how DDs birth father was.

 

has anyone else went thru this or had to deal with giving their baby up like that, does it get easier? i know i just cant wait till she is 12 since in this state 12 is when they can chose and i pray to go she chooses me (im sure she will)

by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 9:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
melissa7283
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:11 PM
Idk i feel sry for dd. This is not good. I m sry you both r going through this. I would say pls do not send her with him but i know u said it's a court order. Sry; hon
melissa7283
by on Aug. 21, 2013 at 10:12 PM
How old is dd !?
johnny4ever
by Mrs. Depp on Aug. 22, 2013 at 8:07 AM

bump

splatz
by Sarah on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:20 AM

My son was 3 when my ex husband and I split. He will be 8 in November. Its still hard when he goes to spend the weekend with his dad. But, it does get easier. He was terrified to see him for quite awhile. But, over time he thankfully forgot everything that happened before we split & wasn't afraid anymore. 

mileysmom331
by Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 11:28 AM

 17 months, it started with supervised vistations at my house for a few hours, then one day for a few hours at his house with out me, then one night then in april after her 1st birthday it was 2 nights 5 wednesday to 5 friday and for a while she wouldnt cry or anything but now its bad each week it gets worse, especially when he had her for 9 days for his vacation after that, its been hell on wheels


Quoting melissa7283:

How old is dd !?


 

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Pat21502
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 12:28 PM
1 mom liked this

If you suspect your child is being neglected and abused you need to contact the social services in your area and tell them about your concerns. They will tell you what to look for and talk with you. I wouldnt let it slide..

mileysmom331
by Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 12:39 PM

 

i talked to her pedi, he said to check for bruises in odd places or bruises that dont link up to the story birth father is giving me, take pictures of everything, and get a family lawyer to keep in touch with, unfortunately i do not have the money for a lawyer. i want to call CPS but with all the renovations going on in my house, my mom is afraid they would find it unsafe when actually it isnt, we have baby gates up in the areas she isnt allowed like the tool room, the back of the house where she can get outside and the door way to the kitchen  dont like her in there without supervision, we have outlet covers everywhere, i dont know how much safer this house can possibly be but my mom refuses to let me call :/ we might be going back to court where he is moving and he wants us to go back to court im gonna get a lawyer (my dad said no matter what i will have one) and im gonna mention all of this to the lawyer, give him all the messages birth father ever sent where he harrasses me (since in the court order he isnt suppose to harrass me or my parents) and see what i can do :/ she comes home terrified half the time :(

Quoting Pat21502:

If you suspect your child is being neglected and abused you need to contact the social services in your area and tell them about your concerns. They will tell you what to look for and talk with you. I wouldnt let it slide..


 

Pat21502
by on Aug. 22, 2013 at 12:45 PM

All you  need is one safe room for her to stay in.  The rest of house doesnt matter. Anyway this about your daughters father and possible child abuse. I dont think they will even come to your house..but they may visit him and check out the situation. If anything he will be alerted inot knowing that he is being watched and if something is going on he will stop.

mileysmom331
by Member on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:00 PM

 well we have more than one room so thats bonus points XD i mean he has black mold in his house she smells of it when she comes home, she has been on zyrtec for allergies cause when she would come home from there she would have an awful cough and a runny nose, he has ferrets and he never cleans their cage (he didnt when he lived with me) and i know he has black mold because when we were together my dad was working on the trailer and he found it, ive seen pictures of his trailer and ive seen not one baby gate ive seen her in pictures getting into cabinets which we dont allow her to do here and yes she bumps her head on tables and such but still no bruises when she is here only when she comes back from his house, but i have a feeling if i call CPS or anyone to have them look into it and i show them the pictures of the cuts and bruises they will just tell me she is a 17 month old and she is gonna get bruises, but a black eye? how does that happen?


Quoting Pat21502:

All you  need is one safe room for her to stay in.  The rest of house doesnt matter. Anyway this about your daughters father and possible child abuse. I dont think they will even come to your house..but they may visit him and check out the situation. If anything he will be alerted inot knowing that he is being watched and if something is going on he will stop.


 

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Aug. 22, 2013 at 1:01 PM

I would call the social services and have them check into it.

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