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Would you be upset or offended?

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My kids are in a local playgroup. It is a pretty decent size and we have all been meeting for about a year. Saturday evening I received a call from one of the moms. She was upset because apparently another mom handed out birthday party invitations for her child to some of the moms. The mom that called me didn't get one and since it was news to me, I obviously didn't get one either.

She was so upset and offended that her daughter didn't get one and expected me to feel the same. While I don't think it was good form to hand out invitations to a select few with uninvited moms/kids there, I don't think she should be obligated to invite everyone if she doesn't want to either.

As an adult, I understand that not everyone is going to be invited to everything all the time. Yes it is disappointing to children but honestly, you cannot shelter children from disappointment their whole lives. That in my opinion leads to entitled children and there are enough entitled children already running around.

Would you be upset or offended if your child was excluded from a party for a child that they had spent every Saturday with for a year? 

Do you think everyone in the playgroup should have been included?

by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 11:47 PM
Replies (41-48):
by on Aug. 29, 2013 at 9:45 PM

I understand both sides

by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 12:44 PM

 I'm in a playgroup and I've been in this position but in my case we were told they were on a limited budget but other times I have felt left out. I get offended easily though when it comes to my children, lol

by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 2:05 PM

I'd probably feel the same as you did.

by on Aug. 31, 2013 at 2:11 PM

The offense can only be warranted if you are close friends with this mom, if you and the other mom barely know this mom or you are not a friend to her; then she has the right to invite or uninvite whomever she wants from the group. My suggestion to your friend is to put her big girl panties on and get over it. I personally don't see why she should feel offended.

by Bronze Member on Aug. 31, 2013 at 10:40 PM

Quoting Janet:

I agree with you.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Member on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:38 PM
I would be a little upset since our kids played together once a week, so I would think that our kids were good friends and would invite each others kids to birthday parties. That said I wouldn't let it be something I stressed over.
by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:43 PM

My sister has three daughters. Her rule was that everyone is invited until around age nine, at which time she lets them make their own list of who they want to attend. I would not be upset at this other mom but i do agree it was in poor taste for her to do that

by on Sep. 2, 2013 at 7:44 PM
Why be offended/hurt? It's not about the parents, it's about the kids. If she asks her kid who all he wants at the party he's going to name all his kid friends, not the adults. Not everyone's kids get along as well as the adults do. Just like some of my best friends kids have nothing in common with my kids.
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