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Would you be upset or offended?

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My kids are in a local playgroup. It is a pretty decent size and we have all been meeting for about a year. Saturday evening I received a call from one of the moms. She was upset because apparently another mom handed out birthday party invitations for her child to some of the moms. The mom that called me didn't get one and since it was news to me, I obviously didn't get one either.

She was so upset and offended that her daughter didn't get one and expected me to feel the same. While I don't think it was good form to hand out invitations to a select few with uninvited moms/kids there, I don't think she should be obligated to invite everyone if she doesn't want to either.

As an adult, I understand that not everyone is going to be invited to everything all the time. Yes it is disappointing to children but honestly, you cannot shelter children from disappointment their whole lives. That in my opinion leads to entitled children and there are enough entitled children already running around.

Would you be upset or offended if your child was excluded from a party for a child that they had spent every Saturday with for a year? 

Do you think everyone in the playgroup should have been included?

by on Aug. 26, 2013 at 11:47 PM
Replies (31-40):
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:25 AM

I guess it would depend on how close my child was witht he other one. You said it isa  large group which means some kids are not goingt o be as closet o others.

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:30 AM
I would definitely think.twice about it, wonder if the mom had a problem with me or my child, but I wouldn't let it get to me.
by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 7:08 AM
I agree. I wouldn't be offended by that either.
by Silver Member on Aug. 28, 2013 at 9:47 AM

 No I wouldn't be offended. Sometimes there are space limitations, not to metion money considerations. And children have to learn that they aren't always going to be included, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with that.

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 10:02 AM

Maybe they didn't have enough money to invite everyone and the child could only invite a few kids. 

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:36 AM

No, I wouldn't be.  I understand how crazy expensive the party can became if you invite a lot of people.  It would have been more appropriate for her to do it when others were not around, but sometimes as a busy parent you don't get chances to see you kids friends & their families more than once a week.  

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 11:38 AM

of course it would be sad for some of the kids & maybe some moms but i guess the mom didn't feel that all the kids should be together 

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 3:00 PM

Nope, I would not have been offended or upset.  Whenever my children are invited to birthday parties, I make a note and invite those kids to my kids birthday parties.  Also, my kids can decide who they want to invite to their party.  People that get upset or offended over stuff like this are the people that I avoid.  I don't have time for the drama.

by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 3:05 PM

Quoting SlapItHigh:

I would feel the same as you.  That is poor form but I would just let it roll off my back.  There's probably a reason she only invited the people that she did.  It might change the way I viewed this mom a little bit but I wouldn't be upset, really.

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by on Aug. 28, 2013 at 5:49 PM

 Some years my girls have big, at home parties and invite lots of friends. However, if it is a sleepover or a party somewhere else where there is a cost per head, we can't invite a large amount of friends. So I completely understand about her not inviting everyone - it depends on a lot of factors.

But, if I were friendly with this mom, I would gently take her aside and let her know that a couple of moms didn't take it well that invites were handed out IN THE PLAYGROUP situation but not given to all and that it should be handled outside of the playgroup in future. She may have done it in all ignorance and she deserves to know. I don't think it's fair to be upset with her and not let her gently know.

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