I'm so lost and confused. I just found out that last night my mother collapsed and had to be careflighted to the hospital she is not breathing on her own and she is on a ventilator and has not regained conciseness since she collapsed. She has been on permanent oxygen for over a year now due to smoking. and has heart complications as well as other medical problems. Last time we talked we got into a huge fight and haven't talked since. that was several months ago. I feel so horrible for the way I talked to here I just want to tell her I'm sorry and that I love her and to please not leave me and my brother. My brother said if she isn't off the ventilator by tomorrow he will drive up there. We live in Texas and she lives in Arkansas. My only problem is that I am 37 weeks along and my doc doesn't want me traveling he is afraid it will send me into labor. I don't know what to do. I have a doc appointment tomorrow and am going to ask the doc again hopefully he will allow it. If not I may just go anyways. Sorry just needed to let this out.
Update: Just found out from hospital that my mother is stable and has woken up a couple of times. They are keeping her sedated though. She apparently isn't getting enough oxygen to her blood.
Update #2: Found out this morning that she is still not breathing on her own they are going to keep her sedated until she can but they aren't sure why she hasn't started to breath on her own. the are going to try a new drug today and then test her blood again tomorrow morning. They said they will keep trying different drugs until she is able to breath without the ventilator. I wish there was something I could do I feel so lost and helpless. I just want to tell her I love her so much but she is so sedated and with the ventilator tube down her throat the call just isn't possible.
Update #3: She was taken off the ventilator this morning, but still having problems breathing apparently she can't expel all of the air out of her lungs so when she breathes its like filling a balloon with air when it's already full. She is talking though and making sense and even wanting to eat. I can't call to talk to here because apparently they don't allow icu patients to accept phone calls. I also found out that the initial collapse was cause by lack of oxygen to her brain and that she od'ed. I am so worried about this. I mean I'm glad she is doing better but how and what did she od?
update #4: First off thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes. My mom is now out of icu and I was able to talk to her for the first time this morning it was great to hear her voice. The doc said if she quits smoking and pretty much just lays around she could live another 3 years if not probably only 6 months. Also I guess the nurse I talked to didn't know what she was talking about she didn't od it was just lack of oxygen to her brain that caused her to collapse. She is doing better but she will never get better if that makes sense. All anyone can do for her now is to pray and to make her as comfortable as possible. I would now like to put up a poem I wrote the day I found out she was in the hospital. Writing always helps me it's kind of sad but it's how I felt when I found out.
Life in Limbo
A flame flickering as if in a breeze.
Death's presence making it dance.
Something so powerful, yet so fragile.
Fate toying with it like a puppet on a string.
I pray for it to dance higher, to become the torch it use to be.
Oh fate, oh death please let it be.
Please don't take this flame from me.