I Hate Hosting Parties Because 2 Things Scare the Heck Out of Me
by Mary Fischer
For at least a couple of months now, my son has been begging me to have a Halloween party. He's obsessed with the holiday (is it even really a holiday?) and wants to share his excitement with all of his friends in the neighborhood.
And I think I might have to go ahead and oblige. I can't remember the last time my husband and I hosted a party and we're always attending parties at other people's houses -- so I feel like we're probably overdue for our turn.
But here's the thing -- I hate entertaining when we're having more than just a few people over because of two distinct fears.
First of all, while my home isn't necessarily what I consider to be small, I don't have a designated area where we can stash the kids send the kids off to play while the adults are socializing in the main living areas. The bonus room over our garage is unfinished, so that's out as an option because it's simply not a safe place for children. And our basement is also unfinished, which isn't necessarily a deal breaker, but it's so full of boxes and crap that it would be next to impossible to try and clear out an area where the kiddos could hang out for the evening. We'd seriously need to rent a dumpster just to make a 10 x 10 pocket of space.
That leaves me with having nowhere for 20 to 30 kids to run around and get rid of their excess energy (due to the inevitable sugar high from their candy and dessert consumption). So they'll probably wind up running in circles around the open floor plan in my downstairs and something will wind up broken and the pocket French doors separating the family room and living room will probably end up off the hinges and/or shattered.
And that brings us to irrational fear number two, which I really don't think is all that uncommon or irrational, but whatever. Do you know what it means if I have all those people in my house at the end of October? It means I have an almost equal ratio of adults and children WEARING SHOES IN MY HOUSE.
Did you hear me? SHOES. Shoes that have all sorts of evil bacteria, germs, and God knows what else lurking on the bottom of them, which will wind up on my clean hardwood floors -- which will result in a 99 percent chance of me hyperventilating and retreating to a corner of the room curled up in the fetal position. Yes, I'm a germophobe. And there's nothing I can do about it. But I'm also not an asshole and don't think it's right to ask all those people to take their shoes off before entering my house. I'll just have to suck it up and try not to think about the fact that everyone is WALKING AROUND MY HOUSE WITH SHOES ON.
Huh. Maybe this party isn't such a good idea. Or maybe I should just get over myself already, pick up an extra bottle of wine for my personal consumption, put on my game face, and have a good time.
(And make sure the cleaning lady is coming the Monday immediately following this little shin-dig.)
Do you like hosting parties in your home?