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Fiance spends more time taking care of his 82 yr old dad while I am 8 months pregnant.

Posted by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:52 AM
  • 13 Replies
My fiance suppose to be living with me but he is always at his 82 yr old dad house even though his mom is there. I feel like I am being robbed of our time and our relationship is in jepordy
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 9:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Janet
by Ruby Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:09 AM
I hate to ask this but are you sure that's where he is at?
nuts4scouts
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:53 AM
4 moms liked this

Your bf's father is 82 years old, and his mother is most likely not a whole lot younger. Folks in their 80's tend to need a lot more help than folks in their 20's. Even at 8 months pregnant, you do not need to be "taken care of".

I think it is great that your bf is so close to his parents. 

If you want to help your relationship, try being supportive of his helping his parents, instead of demanding all of his time and attention.

Randi02
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:57 AM

This.

If he's helping out his parents, and your relationship is in jeopardy because of it - you don't have much of a relationship at all.

Why don't you go over there and visit, or help out? They aren't going to be around forever.

Quoting nuts4scouts:

Your bf's father is 82 years old, and his mother is most likely not a whole lot younger. Folks in their 80's tend to need a lot more help than folks in their 20's. Even at 8 months pregnant, you do not need to be "taken care of".

I think it is great that your bf is so close to his parents. 

If you want to help your relationship, try being supportive of his helping his parents, instead of demanding all of his time and attention.


Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 11:58 AM

well does his 82 year old father need care ?  If the mother older as well ?

I will say like nuts4scout, you're pregnant, not invalid, you technically don't need taking care of !!  When we went back to DH's home state on vacation, he would leave me to myself a lot, while he went visiting with his mom or back to see old co-workers, see friends, I understood and was not upset over it. His parents won't be around for ever,  Maybe he knows that once the baby comes along he won't be able to spend as much time with them ?

cupcake_mom
by on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:03 PM
Or better yet go over with him and help out too. If he is your df they will be your inlaws soon so why not get to know them better and spend some quality time with them. Why not talk and let them experience you and your pregnancy and get close to them and let them feel close to you and your unborn child, their unborn grandchild

Quoting nuts4scouts:

Your bf's father is 82 years old, and his mother is most likely not a whole lot younger. Folks in their 80's tend to need a lot more help than folks in their 20's. Even at 8 months pregnant, you do not need to be "taken care of".

I think it is great that your bf is so close to his parents. 

If you want to help your relationship, try being supportive of his helping his parents, instead of demanding all of his time and attention.

natural_s
by Bronze Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:18 PM
2 moms liked this

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

I personally think it is wonderful that your fiance would take the time out to go help his mother out with his father whom I am assuming is ill and at 82 I am sure his mother is close in age and probably could use the help considering what the sickness is.

I think you should be proud to have a man that actually has a relationship with his dad as that is something that is rare. Maybe you can go with him like another poster suggested to show that you support him taking care of his father as his father may not have much longer left on this earth and he may feel he needs to spend as much time with him as he can.

I hope all goes well with your relationship.

mommy2zbg
by Member on Sep. 13, 2013 at 12:21 PM
1 mom liked this

 You are a grown woman.. just because you are pregnant doesn't mean he has to take care of you. You are perfectly capable of doing things yourself. You should be proud of your man for helping his parents out so much. Give him some support and show him you support him.

DawgGal
by on Sep. 15, 2013 at 8:15 AM

Wow!  I'm with the others....a pregnant woman does not need to be "taking care of"....unless you are leaving something out of your message like being a high risk, strict bedrest pregnancy.

schatzi869
by Member on Sep. 15, 2013 at 8:20 AM
I took care of my grandfather for eight years after he had a heart attack and quadruple bypass. When I was pregnant with my son, I still took care of him. He passed away a few days before my son's fifth birthday earlier this year, at the age of 82. Your fiance is doing exactly what he ought to be doing, and I'm sorry that you can't see that. Good luck.
splatz
by Sarah on Sep. 15, 2013 at 12:46 PM

I think its great that he is helping out his family. I could understand if he was never around and you just had the baby. But its not like you really *need* him to take care of you at this point.

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