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Have you ever met someone who is perfect for you but...

Posted by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:42 PM
  • 16 Replies

in the back of your head you wonder "What's wrong with this person?"

I'm talking to a guy & so far it's just that- talking. Well actually just texting. But anyway- he has told me a bit about his past & why he's divorced. I told him about my past as well. Nothing too bad so far. We're both looking for the same things in a relationship. He will start the conversation in one direction & then go a completely different direction with the old "Is that too much?" or "I don't want to sound inappropriate or anything" lines.

Ex: This evening he asked me if I ever lay in bed & just think. Of course I do, so I said "yeah pretty much every night. This is why I seem to never be able to sleep". And he says "I'm just thinking- & not to be inappropriate or anything but- this bed seems too big for just one person."

Or the other night he mentioned reading the book "The Five Love Languages" & I told him what my top 2 languages are- words of affirmation & acts of service. He tells me his are words of affirmation & physical touch. He says he likes to hold hands, kiss, cuddle... & I said "Yeah I don't mind those either LOL" & he replied "You probably don't like sex in general do you?" And I'm like HUH??? What brought THAT on! 

IDK maybe I'm doubting things because this is the 1st guy who has an interest in me since my divorce over a year ago & maybe I "want" to find something wrong with him? OR... maybe it's my 6th sense telling me to get the heck out of Dodge now! LOL

by on Sep. 18, 2013 at 11:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
splatz
by Sarah on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:34 AM

I think sex takes up about 50% of mens brains lol. It could be that hes just really out to get some. Or he could be just a normal guy. 

Good luck! The dating world can be downright scary! lol

JamieBue38
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 12:36 AM

Yup, lots of men like to just jump into the sexy talk. Good luck with your decision :)

johnny4ever
by Mrs. Depp on Sep. 19, 2013 at 7:41 AM

bump

Bribriesmom
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 4:35 PM
1 mom liked this
The Five Love Languages is a "Faith/Spiritual" based book and this guy is in the flesh. Yes, we have children and sex is not given so easily. Cut it off or shut it down. You're questioning because you know he's not the one.
CampClan
by Member on Sep. 19, 2013 at 5:29 PM

Yes I know about the book- I have a copy of it. And a co-worker told me that maybe I am questioning it because I have been treated poorly in the past (cheated on by my ex) & I am afraid to let my guard down.

Quoting Bribriesmom:

The Five Love Languages is a "Faith/Spiritual" based book and this guy is in the flesh. Yes, we have children and sex is not given so easily. Cut it off or shut it down. You're questioning because you know he's not the one.


jessie0221
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 9:48 PM

If you have to stop and question then maybe its not quite right.  Trust your gut.  Everytime.  Wish I had.

Bribriesmom
by on Sep. 19, 2013 at 10:23 PM
Sometimes your guard is red flags or warning signs of the familiar. If he's making comments about your bed on more than one occasion, it's more or less if you're willing to compromise again and open yourself up to more soul ties. A relationship is meant to build you up and to have doubts or questioning is a major red flag for he's not the one or there is some baggage you're still holding on to and this is a sign you may not be ready for a relationship.


Quoting CampClan:

Yes I know about the book- I have a copy of it. And a co-worker told me that maybe I am questioning it because I have been treated poorly in the past (cheated on by my ex) & I am afraid to let my guard down.

Quoting Bribriesmom:

The Five Love Languages is a "Faith/Spiritual" based book and this guy is in the flesh. Yes, we have children and sex is not given so easily. Cut it off or shut it down. You're questioning because you know he's not the one.



adove01
by Member on Sep. 20, 2013 at 6:44 AM
Men talk and think and relate a lot towards sex. That being said, do his slightly inappropriate comments make you feel uncomfortable? If so, maybe you should question a relationship there because that is unlikely to change. He also might be trying to figure out your end of the relationship. Maybe he wonders how you feel about him. Maybe the comment about his bed feeling too big was true. If he's recently divorced, was he used to having his ex in bed with him, even at the end? There are so many factors here. Dumb question here, you said you've been texting with him, have you met him in person? Just wondering because then that could bring on a ton of new issues.
CampClan
by Member on Sep. 20, 2013 at 6:49 AM

Not a dumb question- but yes we have met. We actually go to church together. When we started talking he said he saw me & wanted to know my story. LOL I'm not saying his questions make me uncomfortable. I just have been hurt in the past & this is the 1st guy I have actually talked to that I might want to date. The bed thing is true for me too. I feel lonely in my full size bed. But I have a preschooler & a dog to keep me company. His boys live with their mom in another state. So he travels alot for work & sometimes stays overnight where he travels because he has no one to come home to.

Quoting adove01:

Men talk and think and relate a lot towards sex. That being said, do his slightly inappropriate comments make you feel uncomfortable? If so, maybe you should question a relationship there because that is unlikely to change. He also might be trying to figure out your end of the relationship. Maybe he wonders how you feel about him. Maybe the comment about his bed feeling too big was true. If he's recently divorced, was he used to having his ex in bed with him, even at the end? There are so many factors here. Dumb question here, you said you've been texting with him, have you met him in person? Just wondering because then that could bring on a ton of new issues.


adove01
by Member on Sep. 20, 2013 at 8:31 AM
Well, dating is getting to know another person. I wouldn't make it a serious situation, but why not go out to dinner or coffee to talk. Maybe to make sure things don't get too serious, meet him somewhere instead of having him drive you. Best thing I would say is to be blunt. Tell him how you want this relationship to go. Let him know your boundaries. I guess what I'm saying is give him a chance other than text messaging. It can be so impersonal sometimes. Who knows, maybe his physical show of affection could be as simple as holding your hand. I'm sure you both have hurts in your past, things your exes didn't or wouldn't do for you. A good book that you could check out is called intimate encounters. It is by David ferguson. It is bible based, it says for marriages but while hubby and I were having our issues we took a class that used this material and along with us were couples that were dating, couples that were engaged and newly weds. These couples had no issues but it opened them up to building their relationship or like the dating couple, they were able to find things they couldn't handle so they mutually broke off the relationship with no hard feelings.


Quoting CampClan:

Not a dumb question- but yes we have met. We actually go to church together. When we started talking he said he saw me & wanted to know my story. LOL I'm not saying his questions make me uncomfortable. I just have been hurt in the past & this is the 1st guy I have actually talked to that I might want to date. The bed thing is true for me too. I feel lonely in my full size bed. But I have a preschooler & a dog to keep me company. His boys live with their mom in another state. So he travels alot for work & sometimes stays overnight where he travels because he has no one to come home to.

Quoting adove01:

Men talk and think and relate a lot towards sex. That being said, do his slightly inappropriate comments make you feel uncomfortable? If so, maybe you should question a relationship there because that is unlikely to change. He also might be trying to figure out your end of the relationship. Maybe he wonders how you feel about him. Maybe the comment about his bed feeling too big was true. If he's recently divorced, was he used to having his ex in bed with him, even at the end? There are so many factors here. Dumb question here, you said you've been texting with him, have you met him in person? Just wondering because then that could bring on a ton of new issues.



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