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How can children of stressful mom be happy kids?

Posted by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 8:28 AM
  • 32 Replies
1 mom liked this

Friends and teachers always tell me how sweet and well-behaved my kids are but I don't really believe them. Teachers tells me that my kids are so happy and smilling all the time but I don't believe them. Please help me to stop being a critical person and just enjoy life. I am critical of self and others. I try very hard to find fault with my kids even though they are happy good kids.

by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 8:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Kellyjude1
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:03 AM
4 moms liked this

Take the negativity out of your life and start to be positive. If you read uplifting scriptures each morning this may help you to find that positive and uplifting words that you may need. Don't be so hard on yourself and your children. Always finding fault is never a good thing. Focus on finding the good things in life start with your children they are your greatest blessing.  hugs

mycutepup
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:05 AM

Thank you Kellyjude1.

Kellyjude1
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Your welcome. You will be surprised how just reading uplifting words can help you through some of the most stressful days. Just take some time for yourself and enjoy life. Always being negative and stressed is never a good thing.  Don't get me wrong I have my stressed days where I feel everything is just so overwhelming working, cooking, caring for my son balancing it all is key. Routine and schedules help. Just take some time to appreciate the good things you have in life...and then you will realize you have lots to be thankful and positive for...Hope this all helps.

fivegirls333
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 9:36 AM
3 moms liked this

i am very impressed that you see the situation for what it really is.  when a child is always striving for perfection?...it will crash somewhere.  this world is hard and cruel.  home should be a soft place to fall and feel safe.  unconditional love is something we all have to work on...but it is so important to children.  here is a tip:  when you see your children doing something, anything.  ask yourself.  "would that bother me if that were a stranger?"  if not?  you should probably give them some love and support instead of "constructive criticism"...that is what school is for.  blessings.  you sound like you will find a solution and create peace for yourself and your children.

2teens2LOs
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 10:03 AM
2 moms liked this

I learned a long time ago to give up on striving for perfection, yourself and a person, I love to be a perfectionist but with 4 kids, I just threw that out the window plus I work 40hrs a week- be "content" that things wont always go as planned, shit happens sometimes and other times when things are "normal" thats when you will realize its really not all that bad being imperfect ;) and its a TON less stress!

mycutepup
by Member on Sep. 21, 2013 at 11:05 AM

Being a critical person makes it very hard to live with myself. Apart from the well-being of my family, the thing I want the most righ now is to be less critical and non-judgemental. I realized that if I could be a very happy person if I don't strive for perfection all the time. Thank you.

Connie04
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with Kellyjude; scripture is very uplifting and gives you hope when you think there is nothing.  Remember that they are only little once and that it is so important to enjoy their childhood.  You don't want to look back and all you can remember is criticism and stress.  They are not perfect and neither are you;  no one is.  So, no matter how critical you are or how high your expectations may be, you and your kids can never reach them because there is no such thing as perfection.  So, why keep striving for something unattainable?  Just accept it for what it is; the way life should be.  We grow as we learn and that means making mistakes.  That means not always doing the "perfect" thing because there are no "perfect" things.  Relax, enjoy your life as well as your children's lives.  They want to see you happy and enjoying them, warts and all!!  How great does that sound??  Sounds pretty relaxing, doesn't it??  Let go of your dream of "perfection".  It does not exist.  You will be much happier and content if you do that.  Good luck!!

countrygirlkat
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 1:13 PM

Sounds like you might be dealing with depression and anxiety.  I would go to your doctor and see about getting diagnosed and treated for those things.  Good luck.

JTnJT
by on Sep. 21, 2013 at 1:48 PM
2 moms liked this

 Ok, first things first, realize a person's mind set typically doesn't change overnight, it takes time and baby steps.   I am still working at correcting my negative thinking patterns, it's not at all easy, and it takes time, but I'd love to share with you what (to this point) has worked for me. 

I sat down and wrote out every positive thing I could come up with relating to my own life.   My love for my children.  My love of watching the birds in the tree's first thing in morning.  Whatever you can come up with. 

Once that is done, use these positive aspects that you've come up with and post them randomly through out your home.  (I used post-its).  Start every day off by standing in front of the mirror, and OUT LOUD remind yourself of all the wonderfully positive things that are going on in your life at that moment.  (Don't forget to tell yourself how beautiful you are, even if you're not feeling it in the moment!) 

Any time you start to feel that negative energy surronding you, reach out to your nearest post-it, read the positive things you've wrote, and slowly those negative thoughts will start to be replaced with more positive thinking.   Hope this helps!

goddess99
by Michelle on Sep. 21, 2013 at 3:27 PM

Get rid of the negative things in your life. Happiness starts within.

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