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How ethical of a parent are you?

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:16 PM
  • 52 Replies
1 mom liked this

A girlfriend forwarded me a story from a magazine about how parents are inherently unethical.

Basically what I got from it was, that most parents are very 'do as I say, not as I do', type of parents.

So I started thinking about myself as a parent. I try really hard to be a good example. The expectation I have for my kids is high and I realized that sometimes I do fall short myself.

Does this make me hypocrite or unethical, or just a busy mom who occasionally slips. It is not like I am a chain smoker telling my kids never to smoke because it can kill you, but more along the lines of 'if you don't have anything nice to say about someone don't say anything at all' and then my sister will irritate me and I'll complain to my husband that my sister is being loony again.

What do you think? 
Are you an 'ethical' parent or do you often find yourself doing or saying something that you have taught your own child NOT to do? 

by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 10:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
SlapItHigh
by on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:07 PM
I aim to be but fall short. My expectations are probably lower than most parents though, lol. I've done a lot of reading into the science/development of the human brain so I know children don't have the same capabilities as adults. For this reason, I set my personal expectations much higher than the ones I set for my kids. I try to lead by example and parent by my actions more than my words. Still, I make a lot of mistakes in my parenting. My kids know I'm far from perfect, lol.
Pagan_Mommy84
by New Member on Oct. 7, 2013 at 11:58 PM
2 moms liked this

Just my opinion...What is and isn't 'ethical' or 'moral,' depends on each person.  Society bases what is and isn't on the majority opinion, but unless your abusing or neglecting your children...then it's all yours, or whoever's call :)  


I raise my sons based on what I believe is right.  Sure, there are times that I do things that my children aren't aloud to do.  I would rather explain to them that I'm an adult and I am aloud to do something and since they are 10, they aren't...than them going to a friends house and doing it because they see another adult ... or child/teen doing it?  I'm not one of those parents to hide my children's eyes from the news and media.  I don't want them to be petrified to step out of the door, but I want them to be cautious and understand that there are very bad and mean people that are capable of doing horrid things to them.  


I'm sure many people judge me...and that's too bad.  I have a friend that is very Christian and sets a very good example for her dd.  I give her credit for that, I really do.  It's not easy to set and live by an example.  However, everytime she tries to get me to fall in line ... I tell her when she pays my bills, buys my kids cloths, feeds my family, and handles everything that i do for my family, then MAYBE I might consider something lol.  So, I think whatever you do ... do because you have reason for it and do what you won't regret 5+ years down the road :)

FootballFan12
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 8:34 AM

I also try to lead by example. Mine are young and impressionable so I try to make sure I am living the way I want them to live as well. I don't really concern myself with what other people think in how I raise my kids. I do the best I can but like the other moms there are times when I don't always do right by them. I use that as a teaching moment, not only for myself but for them as well. 

MichelleMc
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 9:08 AM
3 moms liked this

I try to lead by example on some things. But I also think that there are some things that adults can do that children can't do. I highly believe that & I think that is where society has started to fail children. Believing that children can do anything that adults can do is where we are failing & where we as a nation have fallen apart. Why kids are little snots thinking they can talk to adults anyway they can, act the same as adults, etc. They can NOT, should NOT. 


goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 8, 2013 at 9:30 AM

I try to set a good example for my dd because she takes everything so literally.  I think the only thing I tell her not to do, that I do, is swear. She's always correcting me.

othermom
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 9:33 AM

I aim to be

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 9:41 AM
This....

Quoting MichelleMc:

I try to lead by example on some things. But I also think that there are some things that adults can do that children can't do. I highly believe that & I think that is where society has started to fail children. Believing that children can do anything that adults can do is where we are failing & where we as a nation have fallen apart. Why kids are little snots thinking they can talk to adults anyway they can, act the same as adults, etc. They can NOT, should NOT. 




You go girl!! I agree.
bmw29
by on Oct. 8, 2013 at 9:50 AM
It's not unethical to smoke and still tell your children not to. It's not hypocritical either, it's simply wanting them to learn from your mistakes. It would be hypocritical if you tell them your going to disown them for it.
SlightlyPerfect
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Monday at 8:14 PM
by Member on Oct. 8, 2013 at 10:32 AM

We model morals, so what you say and do are a manifestation of those morals. Our morality is part of our nature, thus creating human ethics.

Kids learn from modeling, not explicitly what you say. And your morals drive your actions, so kids can easily point out contradictions therein.


LivinDeadGurl
by Maranda on Oct. 8, 2013 at 10:33 AM

I am a big believer in leading by example. However, there are things that children shouldn't do that is fine for an adult.

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