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Independance ...

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:31 AM
  • 49 Replies

At what age do you give your kids some freedom such as going to the park alone ?

My DD will be 10 in January and this year for the first time I let her go to the park with a friend, without me.  I did so, reluctantly because my DH told me to stop being a helicopter mom and because there's always loads of other kids at the park who go there alone.  The park is down the street (litterally at the end of our street) I can see the park from my front porch but it's too far for me to be able to spot DD.  I was getting comfortable with that, as long as they were a pair.  But Saturday DD wanted to go to the park alone and DH (which is her step father) said yes.  I was pissed off.  I went to check on her after about 1/2 hour, and yes, all was fine, she had met other kids there but still, i find it hard, I worry ...

who's right ? DH or I ?  Am I really a helicopter mom ?

by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:31 AM
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Replies (1-10):
XXMISFTITGIRLXX
by New Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:35 AM
1 mom liked this

At 11 and 12 when I lived in Australia I would, but now that we are in Texas...I don't. It depends on the neighborhood, how mature your children are, how many friends are going with them, how close to the park...so many variables. I am not comfortable in my Texas neighborhood, so even though they are about to turn 14 and 13...I will not allow it.

definecorrupt
by Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:41 AM
1 mom liked this

Like the other response said, It depends on your neighborhood and the maturity of your child, as well as other things.  Just set some ground rules if you need something to make you more comfortable..  Talk to her about the importance of being home before dark, not talking to strangers, not taking food from strangers, not getting in the car with someone even if your friends are going.  As long as you know that she knows how to be safe you'll feel better.  

goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:44 AM

I can see both sides. Your park is close so I might feel kind of safe with that but things still happen, I would be probably hanging out on the porch quite often =)

johnny4ever
by Mrs. Depp on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:48 AM

My son is 10 and he stays close to home

MaineMammax2
by Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:49 AM
2 moms liked this
My girls are 6 & 2 so I hyperventilate when I think of them going off on their own. I know at some point I'll have to let them but I don't how I will do it?!?! My husband feels the same way. I can imagine being the parent who always follow at a discreet distance going to the mall or park or movies. I just can't imagine them being unsupervised.
Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:51 AM

 the park is a distance of 6 / 7 houses down the street from my home.  It's a good middle class neighborhood with loads of kids.  Most kids DD's age go alone.  She's been very good and responsible about time management and letting me know what's going on, checking in at the house once in a while etc.  And she knows not to talk to any adults, especially not take anything she is given and even to run home if any grown ups try and talk to her.  For Christmas I strongly suggested for my mom to get her a pair of good walkie talkies.  That way should there be an emergency she can contact home instantly.


Quoting XXMISFTITGIRLXX:

At 11 and 12 when I lived in Australia I would, but now that we are in Texas...I don't. It depends on the neighborhood, how mature your children are, how many friends are going with them, how close to the park...so many variables. I am not comfortable in my Texas neighborhood, so even though they are about to turn 14 and 13...I will not allow it.


 

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:53 AM
1 mom liked this

 well that's my thing an incident can happen within seconds and out of my reach whenever she goes I go and check on her regularly hence the constant jokes from my husband calling me a helicopter parent, yesterday I got mad and said to him, laugh at me all you want.  I'd rather be laughed at and her to be safe, than me sorry.


Quoting goddess99:

I can see both sides. Your park is close so I might feel kind of safe with that but things still happen, I would be probably hanging out on the porch quite often =)


 

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:54 AM

 And I"ll give you the same response i did to the other poster : the park is a distance of 6 / 7 houses down the street from my home.  It's a good middle class neighborhood with loads of kids.  Most kids DD's age go alone.  She's been very good and responsible about time management and letting me know what's going on, checking in at the house once in a while etc.  And she knows not to talk to any adults, especially not take anything she is given and even to run home if any grown ups try and talk to her.  For Christmas I strongly suggested for my mom to get her a pair of good walkie talkies.  That way should there be an emergency she can contact home instantly.


Quoting definecorrupt:

Like the other response said, It depends on your neighborhood and the maturity of your child, as well as other things.  Just set some ground rules if you need something to make you more comfortable..  Talk to her about the importance of being home before dark, not talking to strangers, not taking food from strangers, not getting in the car with someone even if your friends are going.  As long as you know that she knows how to be safe you'll feel better.  


 

definecorrupt
by Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:00 PM

I understand why you worry, as someone with horrible anxiety I know Im going to have trouble leaving my kid in the next room let alone go to a park..  But it sounds like your kid is completely safe.   If you want her to grow up confident of herself and confident of the choices that she makes alone then she has to learn to be alone.  &It is close so you could always walk down there to bring her a snack(and secretly check up on her) if you wanted to.  :)

Quoting Jinxed8:

 And I"ll give you the same response i did to the other poster : the park is a distance of 6 / 7 houses down the street from my home.  It's a good middle class neighborhood with loads of kids.  Most kids DD's age go alone.  She's been very good and responsible about time management and letting me know what's going on, checking in at the house once in a while etc.  And she knows not to talk to any adults, especially not take anything she is given and even to run home if any grown ups try and talk to her.  For Christmas I strongly suggested for my mom to get her a pair of good walkie talkies.  That way should there be an emergency she can contact home instantly.


Quoting definecorrupt:

Like the other response said, It depends on your neighborhood and the maturity of your child, as well as other things.  Just set some ground rules if you need something to make you more comfortable..  Talk to her about the importance of being home before dark, not talking to strangers, not taking food from strangers, not getting in the car with someone even if your friends are going.  As long as you know that she knows how to be safe you'll feel better.  




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goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 21, 2013 at 12:14 PM

Exactly, it's safety first. The world is a crazy place full of crazy people. You just never know.

Quoting Jinxed8:

 well that's my thing an incident can happen within seconds and out of my reach whenever she goes I go and check on her regularly hence the constant jokes from my husband calling me a helicopter parent, yesterday I got mad and said to him, laugh at me all you want.  I'd rather be laughed at and her to be safe, than me sorry.


Quoting goddess99:

I can see both sides. Your park is close so I might feel kind of safe with that but things still happen, I would be probably hanging out on the porch quite often =)




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