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At what age do you give your kids some freedom such as going to the park alone ?

My DD will be 10 in January and this year for the first time I let her go to the park with a friend, without me.  I did so, reluctantly because my DH told me to stop being a helicopter mom and because there's always loads of other kids at the park who go there alone.  The park is down the street (litterally at the end of our street) I can see the park from my front porch but it's too far for me to be able to spot DD.  I was getting comfortable with that, as long as they were a pair.  But Saturday DD wanted to go to the park alone and DH (which is her step father) said yes.  I was pissed off.  I went to check on her after about 1/2 hour, and yes, all was fine, she had met other kids there but still, i find it hard, I worry ...

who's right ? DH or I ?  Am I really a helicopter mom ?

by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 11:31 AM
Replies (41-49):
xxshelbyxxx
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 9:06 PM
Like many others have said already: it depends on the location, the distance from where you'll be from her, her maturity level, her knowledge of stranger danger, and many other factors. So I think it's different for every family and every location. Being protective, safe and responsible does NOT make you a helicopter mom!

Growing up, we lived in a neighborhood that was super safe with about 9 streets all connected with little cul de sacs strewn throughout, and a park/pool at the very end of our specific street. But for half the neighborhood kids the pool was considered "far" from their homes. That being said- 90% of the kids were allowed alone to the park or riding around the block because our neighborhood was SUPER safe. But at 14 my dad still wouldn't let me stay out past dark even though ALL my friends were alllowed, nor would he let me ride my bike out of the actual neighborhood up to the plaza with my friends. My dads a helicopter parent and an asshole. I'd LOVE to raise my son in that same type of development simply because of the safe factor. BUT where were moving to right now (our first home, we live with my mom on a very safe street right now) I can promise you if were still living there when DS is old enough to want to do things alone, he won't be doing it at 10. The streets too busy, the houses are too far apart, we don't know anyone in the area and the parks are too far away to be safe alone. BUT if/when we move into a neighborhood like the one OP lives in, like I was raised in, we WILL allow DS to go to that park alone at that age. But only because the factors are all ok.

Different setting, different place, different people, or lack of maturity and understanding on his part though, would all be factors making us have the opposite viewpoint on going to the park alone.
Pammi86
by Pamela on Oct. 23, 2013 at 9:07 PM

With a friend at 10 ok...alone I would say no!

Basherte
by Bronze Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 2:26 AM

What an awesome idea! 

Walkie talkies... I hadn't thought of that. Kinda like being spies and communicating with home base. *giggles* I'm a geek.

Give her more confidence to face the world too knowing that she has back up at the touch of a button should she need it. :-)

Such a wonderful idea.

Quoting Jinxed8:

 I don't think I'll ever stop worrying ... I don't hover for long just make sure she's okay.  I gotta admit that once she gets those walkie talkies I'lll feel even more secure


Quoting Basherte:

I don't think you can stop yourself from worrying. 


I would say that going to check on your daughter at that age is a normal thing, as long as you don't hover for a long time. Ya know go check, see she's alive and leave again. 




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SlapItHigh
by on Oct. 24, 2013 at 9:43 AM

I would let my older two kids do this.  They are 8 and 10.  Not my 4 yo though.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 10:29 AM

thanks !  it dawned on me when she started going to the park - or when she bikes home from her friend's house.  Maggie's mom and I we text each other to let each other know "OK DD just left"  "DD just got hoe thanks" we know the ride should take no more than 2 minutes type of deal.  But the walkie talkies are awesome.  The pair I spotted have a 16 mile range which means that from the house to the park even to Maggie's house they will work, I hope my mom really buys them for Christmas

Quoting Basherte:

What an awesome idea! 

Walkie talkies... I hadn't thought of that. Kinda like being spies and communicating with home base. *giggles* I'm a geek.

Give her more confidence to face the world too knowing that she has back up at the touch of a button should she need it. :-)

Such a wonderful idea.

Quoting Jinxed8:

 I don't think I'll ever stop worrying ... I don't hover for long just make sure she's okay.  I gotta admit that once she gets those walkie talkies I'lll feel even more secure

 

Quoting Basherte:

I don't think you can stop yourself from worrying. 

 

I would say that going to check on your daughter at that age is a normal thing, as long as you don't hover for a long time. Ya know go check, see she's alive and leave again. 

 

 



 

Basherte
by Bronze Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 11:04 AM

*crosses my fingers* I hope so too. Can you imagine all the fun you guys could have with those, along with keeping her safe?

That is something I will now have to put on my to buy list for when my son gets a little older.

They will also allow you say "yes" to some things that you wouldn't feel comfortable saying yes to without them, because you will have them to fall back on. You can also say a quick "Hi, tell me you are okay" type thing and have her respond to it quickly, and quietly (if she feels the need to be quiet).

Or you could both whisper. leave some intrigue. 

Ohhh this is so fun! 

Quoting Jinxed8:

thanks !  it dawned on me when she started going to the park - or when she bikes home from her friend's house.  Maggie's mom and I we text each other to let each other know "OK DD just left"  "DD just got hoe thanks" we know the ride should take no more than 2 minutes type of deal.  But the walkie talkies are awesome.  The pair I spotted have a 16 mile range which means that from the house to the park even to Maggie's house they will work, I hope my mom really buys them for Christmas

Quoting Basherte:

What an awesome idea! 

Walkie talkies... I hadn't thought of that. Kinda like being spies and communicating with home base. *giggles* I'm a geek.

Give her more confidence to face the world too knowing that she has back up at the touch of a button should she need it. :-)

Such a wonderful idea.

Quoting Jinxed8:

 I don't think I'll ever stop worrying ... I don't hover for long just make sure she's okay.  I gotta admit that once she gets those walkie talkies I'lll feel even more secure


Quoting Basherte:

I don't think you can stop yourself from worrying. 


I would say that going to check on your daughter at that age is a normal thing, as long as you don't hover for a long time. Ya know go check, see she's alive and leave again. 







CafeMom Tickers
delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 11:11 AM

I like the pairs idea.

Jerichos_Mommy
by Member on Oct. 31, 2013 at 1:36 AM

I don't think I'd want my 10 year old (in 3 years) to walk alone either.  I like safety in numbers with so many crazies out there. 

MooNFaeRie30
by Member on Nov. 4, 2013 at 5:27 AM
I think it depends on the area and how mature the child is. I think at 10 I still might want my kids going with a friend, but I can't say for sure what she will be like in 3 years.
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