Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

4yr old on HAUNTED hay ride?!? Update in green :)

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 10:58 PM
  • 21 Replies

My sons Father called sunday asking if it was okay if he brought our son home a little late because they were going to a pumpkin patch and on a hay ride. I said okay, because in my mind I was thinking a innocent hay ride to a feild to pick a pumpkin like we had brought him to when he was younger. I told him to just make sure they were back by 7 so He could relax before bed for school in the morning.

Well 8 rolls around and he FINALLY answers my call and says hes on his way, then when they arrive I am informed it was a haunted hay ride.

I have had issues for the past few months getting him to sleep. I was finally making progress and he would sleep through most of the night until about 5am then crawl in bed with my husband and I.

Until Last night I feel like we are worse off then we were to start with!!! My son was TERRIFIED to even go upstairs (where his room is) last night to go to sleep. He would scream bloody murder as soon as he thought he was alone, he said the "ghost" from the GRAVEYARD they took him to followed him home!! I felt so bad, I let him lay with me on the couch until he feel asleep and had my husband carry him to bed. He awoke as soon as he laid him down. So I tried laying with him, every time he would fall asleep, he would softly mumble, "Where are we?" I'd say You'e at home safe baby, and he'd reply " Are we in the graveyard?"  eventually he said he wanted Mike to sleep with him, well my husbands 6'5 theres no way he could fit in my sons firetruck bed lol so He agreed to go to sleep and we all just slept in our bed.

Tonight my husbands at work, My son feels safer when he is home. He agian was terrified to go to bed. So scared that when I left the room he VOMITED. I finally got him to sleep but had to turn ALL the lights on, so his room light, the hallway light, even his closet light and nightlight!

I am so Upset at my ex for doing this, but its to late to turn back now, any tips to help him not be scared?

I tried explaining to him it was all pretend, even tried the "monster spray" that had been helping him for awhile now. Its just water in a spray bottle that, I told him was special chemicals that would kill all monsters. I found the idea on pintrest and it was working real well until this!!

Needless to say, my husbands and I's sex life has been thrown off for quite some time now, and we thought we were finally getting back on track to get him back in his own bed! He also wakes his sisters up when he screams because hes scared, so this is a issue affecting the whole family. I know its not my sons fault, ecspecially now since his father did this, but its so hard not to get frustrated, then i feel so gulilty when I yell :( But i'm not exactly in the best mood in the middle of the night.

Also son missed school today because I didnt want to wake him so early when he'd been up all night!

 

Thank you all for your great ideas! Tonight I kind of mixed everyones advice with what I have been doing and it went alot better than it has in a long time!!! He is asleep in HIS bed! IN THE DARK. NO FIGHT!!!! First we read our bedtime story, then we talked about school and his day, then talked about why hes scared. I let the cat lay down with him. Then We shut the lights off and turned on his flashlight and i showed him there was nothing scary in the dark then played shadow puppets. I did leave the room then and he got out of bed and came down stairs, this is where the fighting would usually begin, but instead I kept my cool, explained agian theres nothing to be scared of and agreed to sit at the end of his bed until he fell asleep. AND IT WORKED!!!  Think I will do this for awhile, and also take some extra advice and put the ceiling projecter in his room and maybe some music! Music will help drown out alot of the "scary" sounds!! (We live right off the highway) Now to celebrate I think a relaxing shower, and maybe even paint my nails since I just saved 2 hours of my night :)

by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 10:58 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
celestegood
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 12:32 AM
Can you try to read him a story where they address the issue of real and pretend monsters/ghosts?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
celestegood
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 12:32 AM
Oh, and I'm so sorry you are dealing with that. I would just let him sleep with you for a few weeks. He'll get better soon.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
my4loves4
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 12:36 AM

 

i dont have one like that, but we have one, about ghosts for dinner. Its just about ghosts having a party and they turn whatever color they eat, so after we read it we talked about how ghost arent real and how the ghosts in the book werent scary, they were nice and funny. He understands...until the lights go out.

Quoting celestegood:

Can you try to read him a story where they address the issue of real and pretend monsters/ghosts?


 

celestegood
by Gold Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 1:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Wow. I don't know. Maybe make a small story book yourself with paper, nothing fancy, and talk about pretend, halloween-and how those are just play pretend? Either way, you will probably have to just deal with it, and ride the storm out.

Quoting my4loves4:

 


i dont have one like that, but we have one, about ghosts for dinner. Its just about ghosts having a party and they turn whatever color they eat, so after we read it we talked about how ghost arent real and how the ghosts in the book werent scary, they were nice and funny. He understands...until the lights go out.


Quoting celestegood:

Can you try to read him a story where they address the issue of real and pretend monsters/ghosts?



 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 22, 2013 at 9:40 AM

Oh I'd be so angry. I'm sorry hun, I have no idea beyond what you've already done. Just keep telling him it was all make believe.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 6:24 PM

 How stupid of him! Let him sleep with you for a while until he gets over it. Is about all you can do.

katzmeow726
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 6:52 PM

They did a really good episode of doc Mcstuffins on this, about dealing with halloween fears. A lot of children's shows do, and they go over that all the spooks you see on Halloween are just pretend. 

my4loves4
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:02 AM

 

We dont have cable :( we watch netflix but havent found one on there like that yet... But I still dont know if that will help, during the day when he talks about it he knows its fake. He will tell you its just pretend and its just masks, but as soon as it come to laying him down to bed its a whole diffrent story. I'm at my wits end....

Quoting katzmeow726:

They did a really good episode of doc Mcstuffins on this, about dealing with halloween fears. A lot of children's shows do, and they go over that all the spooks you see on Halloween are just pretend. 


 

my4loves4
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:10 AM

 

the only problem with this is, his bedtime is 730, i dont go to bed until much later. Its not a problem like before this happened he would go to bed fine then wake up in the night scared and come to our bed, but now he wont go in his bed without a huge fight that lasts almost 2 hours. The earliest I can make myself go to bed would be 9 but cant keep him up that late because of school :( even though he fights me until that time anyway so hes up, but I dont want him in the habbit of thinking if he throws a tantrum for ever then he can get in our bed or it will make it a even harder habit to break! plus dont want to throw him off routine to much... I just dont know what to do,I was almost in tears tonight because of it. We are also fighting for custody for my step daughter who is almost 3. I dont know what I am going to do then, when he keeps her up and then have to deal with them all!  

Quoting Janet:

 How stupid of him! Let him sleep with you for a while until he gets over it. Is about all you can do.


 

katzmeow726
by on Oct. 23, 2013 at 12:13 AM

Why don't you take him to the store and get something fun like a cool flashlight or a pillow pet to get rid of the "scaries" at night, and maybe a new stuffed animal or something....a tiger or a bear to growl them away.  That worked with me when i was a kid!

Quoting my4loves4:


We dont have cable :( we watch netflix but havent found one on there like that yet... But I still dont know if that will help, during the day when he talks about it he knows its fake. He will tell you its just pretend and its just masks, but as soon as it come to laying him down to bed its a whole diffrent story. I'm at my wits end....

Quoting katzmeow726:

They did a really good episode of doc Mcstuffins on this, about dealing with halloween fears. A lot of children's shows do, and they go over that all the spooks you see on Halloween are just pretend. 




Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

Daisypath - Personal pictureDaisypath Anniversary tickers
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)