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Do you ever feel as if...

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...you are putting your family WAY before yourself? I do not mean this to be a negative, but I do believe sometimes it is. I am asking simply because lately I think I have been doing this. I have been trying to make DH and DD happy and ensuring they were ok, but I have been putting myself last. I realize this has been taking a great toll on me both physically and mentally. It is easier keeping DD well and happy. It is a little harder with DH due to our differences. Overall everything is ok, but today I changed things around a bit.


I decided to make sure DH got up and got DD from bed and did the morning duties with her while I slept in for a change. I think I am going to enforce this more often. I put dinner to cook in the crock pot and I took a nice little stroll to get my hair done. I think I will be doing this more often as well. I definitely am starting to feel better! I'm a SAHM so I think I need to get out more often with or without the family. 

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by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 2:26 PM
Replies (21-30):
Basherte
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 11:29 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with you. 

Us sahm's tend to put all of our effort and energy into our houses and families that we forget that we need some tlc as well. Some time to ourselves

My son's needs come before my wants. Period. Always will be that way. However, if it is a want for my son and a need for myself. I come first. Simply because if I'm not healthy and happy mentally and physically, I'm not the best mom I can be for him.


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MusherMaggie
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 11:43 AM
2 moms liked this
Remember: If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy! :-)
annelauer
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this
I had to redefine "time to myself" and "tlc". We have three, young kids and my husband isn't the world's most thoughtful person. Out of utter frustration and exhaustion, I decided that I would brush my teeth every morning ALONE. For two glorious minutes (from when I push the Sonicare button until it goes off) the bathroom door is shut and I'm having ME time. It has helped immensely.
cowgirls10181
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 12:34 PM
1 mom liked this

you need to look in to finding your mama grove I'm loving her stuff!  it will help you find your me time within your already full day! I to am a SHAM and believe we need personal time and to care for ourselves along with our family. its a balancing act! 

alyssa1
by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 1:03 PM
I dont have me time or time to myself much it sucks it gets to me sometimes
AppleTechMom
by New Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

You can be a working mom and need time to yourself that isn't work related. I actually work technical support from home so I have the kids here while I'm working. It makes things difficult. You end up feeling like you're losing pieces of yourself especially when you're making sure that your kids and DH/SO is taken care of. I always make sure that DSS and DS and DH are always taken care of. 

DeLaLi
by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 1:20 PM


Quoting scoleman828:

I went out by myself for the first time in 5 months this past Sunday. Though, dh texted me every 10 minutes for the 4 hours I was gone and I came home to a mess in the house so it really didn't help much. I don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon. It just made me feel like I was not able to enjoy the time and needed to rush to get home. Then, when I did get home I was just behinf on chores and had to stay up half the night to be ready for the week.. I miss adult interaction and peace & quiet but it was not worth the stress after the fact.

Oh no, I'm sorry about that. I'm pretty particular so I kind of know what you mean about coming home to some things not done. DH tends to do things a little differently with DD so that can also be a pain, but I know I have to just chill out. Lucky for DH DD is usually napping a good chunk of the time I'm out.

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DeLaLi
by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 1:24 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting alyssa1:

I dont have me time or time to myself much it sucks it gets to me sometimes

I'm enforcing it from now on. I don't want to feel as if I kind of lost myself. That amongst other things are changing and it's only for the better.

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SourRoses
by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:02 PM
1 mom liked this
I always make time for myself.

Also on the weekends are my "days off" on Friday and Saturday I dont clean or cook or do laundry.
xxshelbyxxx
by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this
I could've wrote this word for word. Every last bit of it! I 100% agree with you. Good for you that you're doing this NOW before it's taken a much larger, detrimental toll on you than what it already has. The reason I say that is because my sons 2 and since the day he was born I've done NOTHING but what needed done for him. I've never once taken a girls night out, a couples night out, or just a plain old ME day. Not even a me HOUR or minute. And it's definitely taken a nasty toll on me physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was diagnosed with moderate/severe depression last month and my counselor said she thinks I've been depressed for a good year but just didn't know that's what it was. I've been seeing her for quite some time now and it's always helped, but her main advice would help the most and it's something I've yet to start following: take care of yourself! Simple as that! But I don't! Because I'm so worried about DS I don't do a damn thing for me and it's sent me into a depression that I can't shake/

So kudos to you for starting now before it takes over completely.


Quoting DeLaLi:

...you are putting your family WAY before yourself? I do not mean this to be a negative, but I do believe sometimes it is. I am asking simply because lately I think I have been doing this. I have been trying to make DH and DD happy and ensuring they were ok, but I have been putting myself last. I realize this has been taking a great toll on me both physically and mentally. It is easier keeping DD well and happy. It is a little harder with DH due to our differences. Overall everything is ok, but today I changed things around a bit.


I decided to make sure DH got up and got DD from bed and did the morning duties with her while I slept in for a change. I think I am going to enforce this more often. I put dinner to cook in the crock pot and I took a nice little stroll to get my hair done. I think I will be doing this more often as well. I definitely am starting to feel better! I'm a SAHM so I think I need to get out more often with or without the family. 


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