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Do you ever feel as if...

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...you are putting your family WAY before yourself? I do not mean this to be a negative, but I do believe sometimes it is. I am asking simply because lately I think I have been doing this. I have been trying to make DH and DD happy and ensuring they were ok, but I have been putting myself last. I realize this has been taking a great toll on me both physically and mentally. It is easier keeping DD well and happy. It is a little harder with DH due to our differences. Overall everything is ok, but today I changed things around a bit.


I decided to make sure DH got up and got DD from bed and did the morning duties with her while I slept in for a change. I think I am going to enforce this more often. I put dinner to cook in the crock pot and I took a nice little stroll to get my hair done. I think I will be doing this more often as well. I definitely am starting to feel better! I'm a SAHM so I think I need to get out more often with or without the family. 

CafeMom Tickers
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 2:26 PM
Replies (41-50):
scoleman828
by on Oct. 29, 2013 at 6:10 PM
Exactly! It's just not worth it. :-\

Quoting Garnet131:

I can relate to this. I have only been out of the house by myself 3 times in the last 6 1/2 months. My husband does the same thing to me about the constant texting while I've been out. Also, with the coming back home to chaos. We have a 2 year old and a 6 1/2 month old. Just wish I could ENJOY some time ALONE! It's almost not even worth it to take some time away when you're constantly hounded while being out. Then, you have to come back home to crying kids who aren't happy with the way Daddy does things and an untidy house with toys everywhere and food all over the place.




Quoting scoleman828:

I went out by myself for the first time in 5 months this past Sunday. Though, dh texted me every 10 minutes for the 4 hours I was gone and I came home to a mess in the house so it really didn't help much. I don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon. It just made me feel like I was not able to enjoy the time and needed to rush to get home. Then, when I did get home I was just behinf on chores and had to stay up half the night to be ready for the week.. I miss adult interaction and peace & quiet but it was not worth the stress after the fact.

kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 7:26 PM
Just because you get married and have kids does not mean you suddenly stop being an adult with needs for adult conversation and adult companionship. Nor does it mean that you stop all self activity either. Your mental and physical state of being is just as important as anyone else in the family. Some just need it more than others and some just need a little bit. Neither being better than the other. Just different types of needs that need to be met.
So, if you feel better by taking care of yourself in this way, you go right ahead and do it.
DeLaLi
by Member on Oct. 29, 2013 at 8:31 PM


Quoting kirbymom:

Just because you get married and have kids does not mean you suddenly stop being an adult with needs for adult conversation and adult companionship. Nor does it mean that you stop all self activity either. Your mental and physical state of being is just as important as anyone else in the family. Some just need it more than others and some just need a little bit. Neither being better than the other. Just different types of needs that need to be met.
So, if you feel better by taking care of yourself in this way, you go right ahead and do it.

It's not about suddenly stopping being an adult at all. It's about a shift in priorities. Sometimes us mothers lose focus on prioritizing all the needs and wants in the household and I now know it's normal and pretty easy to fix. For the last two years it has been mainly about DD to the point where I wasn't thinking about myself for some time. I just started to really feel it since I'm now home all the time with her and everyone is a distance away. Plus there is a lot going on between her personality changing and her potty "training" so it was time I took a deep breath and focus on myself. 

CafeMom Tickers
arwalters
by Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 1:34 AM
1 mom liked this
I get caught up with the playdates, homeschooling, and field trips and though I do love to interact with other moms, that's nice, it is very important to meer to get some down time alone. I sometimes stay up really late b/c I can't get enough of the quiet lol but that makes for a cranky mommy in the morn so I'm trying to cut down on that habit. I recently took up knitting and it's nice, kind of calming. I also read a lot or try to when I have time. It's easier to knit and multitask than reading, that way ds still has my attention. Don't feel bad about taking breaks! Taking care of our own needs will keep us more equipped for taking care of our families
gee18
by Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 2:36 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm at home 24/7 with my 4month old DD I hardly ever go out. I don't even speak to anyone, I'm just home taking care of my DD and cleaning. :/ I think I deserve time alone.
celestegood
by Gold Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 7:36 AM
I feel your pain.

Quoting caligirl7613:

its important to have time to yourself. we only have 1 car and while SO is good about helping out at home sometimes i get pissy that he gets to actually leave the house ALONE and go to work and talk to other adults. the only adults i talk to are on here or fb since im 3k miles from home and dont know people here yet.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
celestegood
by Gold Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 7:37 AM
1 mom liked this
I get caught up taking care of my family, and I don't get time to myself. I make time, though. Even if I am not out of the house, I am here alone this morning without the kids. It's pretty important to take time for you.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jaycam
by on Oct. 30, 2013 at 10:20 AM
1 mom liked this
I think we all need time for ourselves
delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Oct. 30, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

 sometimes...

Mpartykitten
by on Oct. 30, 2013 at 8:04 PM
1 mom liked this

Stay at home moms absolutly need time to themselves. Its a hard job doing everything at home and taking care of the family. It is a lot more work than most jobs you would go to. I have the best of both worlds. I am a SAHM during the week and work on weekends overnights. Its super hard to flip my schedule, but I manage. It gives me something to go to thats just mine and it feels great to get out. Its like a different world. I always think about going to get my hair done, but I never do. Sometimes my MIL takes my son (he is 3 and a handful) for the day and I just relax alone. We definitly need time to recoop and pamper ourselves sometimes!

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