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Do you ever feel as if...

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 2:26 PM
  • 56 Replies
7 moms liked this

...you are putting your family WAY before yourself? I do not mean this to be a negative, but I do believe sometimes it is. I am asking simply because lately I think I have been doing this. I have been trying to make DH and DD happy and ensuring they were ok, but I have been putting myself last. I realize this has been taking a great toll on me both physically and mentally. It is easier keeping DD well and happy. It is a little harder with DH due to our differences. Overall everything is ok, but today I changed things around a bit.


I decided to make sure DH got up and got DD from bed and did the morning duties with her while I slept in for a change. I think I am going to enforce this more often. I put dinner to cook in the crock pot and I took a nice little stroll to get my hair done. I think I will be doing this more often as well. I definitely am starting to feel better! I'm a SAHM so I think I need to get out more often with or without the family. 

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by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 2:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
caligirl7613
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 2:54 PM
its important to have time to yourself. we only have 1 car and while SO is good about helping out at home sometimes i get pissy that he gets to actually leave the house ALONE and go to work and talk to other adults. the only adults i talk to are on here or fb since im 3k miles from home and dont know people here yet.
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DeLaLi
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 3:57 PM


Quoting caligirl7613:

its important to have time to yourself. we only have 1 car and while SO is good about helping out at home sometimes i get pissy that he gets to actually leave the house ALONE and go to work and talk to other adults. the only adults i talk to are on here or fb since im 3k miles from home and dont know people here yet.

Oh wow. My fam is a 40 min drive away and I do not drive. I'm in NYC so although public transportation is an option, it is very inconvenient, especially with a two year old. My friends are not that close either and they are busy so I am all alone here with DD while DH works. Even his family is kind of far and they are busy as well. I do not really miss work, but I do miss adult interaction, lol. I am trying to do more with DD now that she is two and get her socialized, which will hopefully help me as well.

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SlapItHigh
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 4:03 PM
6 moms liked this
I think mothering is a great gift of self sacrifice. Or "self donative love" as some call it. It's a wonderful thing. But we always need balance. I can't say that I really neglect myself. I do make sure I try to get my own needs met even if they don't always come first.

Silly analogy but I think of how the flight attendants ways remind people that in the event of loss of oxygen, always put your own mask on first so that you are then able to help those around you. If we are totally run down, we can't give to out spouse and kids. We must make sure we are breathing!
DeLaLi
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 4:08 PM


Quoting SlapItHigh:

I think mothering is a great gift of self sacrifice. Or "self donative love" as some call it. It's a wonderful thing. But we always need balance. I can't say that I really neglect myself. I do make sure I try to get my own needs met even if they don't always come first.

Silly analogy but I think of how the flight attendants ways remind people that in the event of loss of oxygen, always put your own mask on first so that you are then able to help those around you. If we are totally run down, we can't give to out spouse and kids. We must make sure we are breathing!

Honestly, that was lovely. I love that analogy and I will definitely use it. This is exactly what was happening to me. I would get so upset while I was alone the past few days because I would think about it and all say to myself that something must change. I am glad I thought it through enough to realize what I was lacking and what I'll be doing from now on to ensure I am good before I can ensure everyone else is as well.

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SlapItHigh
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 4:11 PM
1 mom liked this
You sound like a great mom and a great person with a wonderful attitude! Inspiring :).


Quoting DeLaLi:


Quoting SlapItHigh:

I think mothering is a great gift of self sacrifice. Or "self donative love" as some call it. It's a wonderful thing. But we always need balance. I can't say that I really neglect myself. I do make sure I try to get my own needs met even if they don't always come first.



Silly analogy but I think of how the flight attendants ways remind people that in the event of loss of oxygen, always put your own mask on first so that you are then able to help those around you. If we are totally run down, we can't give to out spouse and kids. We must make sure we are breathing!

Honestly, that was lovely. I love that analogy and I will definitely use it. This is exactly what was happening to me. I would get so upset while I was alone the past few days because I would think about it and all say to myself that something must change. I am glad I thought it through enough to realize what I was lacking and what I'll be doing from now on to ensure I am good before I can ensure everyone else is as well.


thatgirl70
by Bronze Member on Oct. 27, 2013 at 4:11 PM
1 mom liked this
I admit, most everything I do is for my son, but I make sure to set time aside for myself too.
DeLaLi
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 4:15 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting SlapItHigh:

You sound like a great mom and a great person with a wonderful attitude! Inspiring :).


Quoting DeLaLi:


Quoting SlapItHigh:

I think mothering is a great gift of self sacrifice. Or "self donative love" as some call it. It's a wonderful thing. But we always need balance. I can't say that I really neglect myself. I do make sure I try to get my own needs met even if they don't always come first.



Silly analogy but I think of how the flight attendants ways remind people that in the event of loss of oxygen, always put your own mask on first so that you are then able to help those around you. If we are totally run down, we can't give to out spouse and kids. We must make sure we are breathing!

Honestly, that was lovely. I love that analogy and I will definitely use it. This is exactly what was happening to me. I would get so upset while I was alone the past few days because I would think about it and all say to myself that something must change. I am glad I thought it through enough to realize what I was lacking and what I'll be doing from now on to ensure I am good before I can ensure everyone else is as well.


Thank you so much.

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goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 27, 2013 at 4:49 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you're doing the right thing. You deserve to be happy too.

celestegood
by Gold Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 7:49 AM
It is! I feel your pain. I am going through the same thing.

Quoting caligirl7613:

its important to have time to yourself. we only have 1 car and while SO is good about helping out at home sometimes i get pissy that he gets to actually leave the house ALONE and go to work and talk to other adults. the only adults i talk to are on here or fb since im 3k miles from home and dont know people here yet.
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celestegood
by Gold Member on Oct. 28, 2013 at 7:49 AM


Quoting goddess99:

I think you're doing the right thing. You deserve to be happy too.

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