I just want some other moms opinions on this subject. Sorry that it might be a little long.
My mom has a gyspy soul and moved us around a lot, that being said I grew up mostly in the south until I was 15, and my mom moved us to Michigan and ive been here ever since, dying to go back "home".
My mom now lives in PA, and my dad lives in TN. None of my siblings live here either. My husbands family all live in AL, where we met and grew up together.
Both dd (5 & 9) have only ever known life in the city, and their fathers both live here, with their families.
DH and I want to move back down south to raise our family in the small town life with close family surrounding us. I have extended family here in MI that I rarely see, or even speak to. (we are ttc)
I have joint custody of my dd with their fathers, and neither would politely agree to a move, so I would have to ask a judge permission.
If we move, we would probably go to TN bc that is where my dad, brother and dh's brother live.
The only reason we are still here is bc of the kids. I cant just pack up and go, but idk if its a good choice to see a judge. What if he/she doesnt allow the move?
My question is this: Do you think I should go through with the hearing, and take the chance that my case gets denied? Should I allow my children to make the choice themselves? Should I just leave it alone and stay put?
I know that my dd's would be well taken care of if they chose to live with their fathers, (they have great relationships) and I was the one who got the summer visits and such, but I cant get over the feeling that they would feel like I abandoned them, or didnt want to take them. Also, I do not want to be the part time parent. I have had them full time their whole life, and theyre girls, they need their mom.
I do not want to leave them, I want to be selfish and take them with me, but it makes me feel like a horrible mother to say so, especially because we have a friendly relationship with their dads. Also, they only see their dads every other weekend, and they dont see their extended family often enough that it would be so heartbreaking to be 900 miles away.
DD #1's dad has said in the past that he would allow her to choose where to go, however, i dont think a child should have that much pressure put on her. He has a large extended family and they have strong opinions. He cares a lot about what they think and what they would say as well.
DD #2's dad would fight it tooth and nail, basically bc his dad left him when he was a child, he only has a brother and his mom passed a few months ago. His daughter is "all he has" and she is his best girl.
I cant think of anymore details to add, so please ask if you can think of something I may have left out. I am only looking for another mothers perspective, someone who isnt biased and only has an opinion.
I am not trying to maliciously ruin their relationships with their fathers, and I would agree to any visitation options they chose, with the exception of the every 6 month thing, bc that is not stable for a child in school.