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Guilt tripping Mothers

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May this be a reminder for me , never to be like this with my daughter :

So about 2 years ago I had my hair dyed like this :

when I had it done, my mom (who's on the very straight and narrow) said "oh ... I'm not really liking this" [jab #1]when she saw my hair ... then again my mom doesn't agree with me ever, when style is concerned ... she often comments on how I look (anything from the fact that I have some weight to lose, to the fact that I like to wear band shirts, that I wear nothing but jeans).  A few months ago I said something about not having time to go to the hair dressers before going on vacation and my mom even commented on "well you already have so many colors in your hair, a 3rd or 4th color is not gonna make a difference"  [jab #2]

So yesterday my parents are hosting a family breakfast ; and somehow "different" hair styles get into the conversation, and so I say "well it's all a matter of opinion, whe I got my hair done like this Mom clearly told me "I don't like it" yet I get so many compliments on my hair by people, surprisingly enough it's mostly by older people" and I left it at that.

Sooo doesn't my mom call me later last night and starts just ripping me a new one, saying she's NEVER say something like this to me, that it would just be so rude and yadidiyada and I made her look bad in front of everyone.  And that I certainly don't do my hair like this to please my parents because if I did want to please them I wouldn't do that blah blah blah ... holy Fking hell !  So to buy my peace I said you're probably right, I'm wrong, ok then ? Buh-bye.

Pfffffffffffffffffffff she has a selective memory - she can be incredibly criticizing of me on the flip side she can be incredibly nice and helpfull but OMG please let this be a lesson to me ; never to be like this with my own daughter. Tomorrow is my dad's birthday and I don't even feel like going now .

by on Nov. 4, 2013 at 10:34 AM
Replies (21-24):
AydensMommy1008
by Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 8:38 AM

Ditto! And I know how you feel, I get jabbed at by my Mom, Sis and Grandma who are ALL on the straight and narrow as well just bc I am not like them. Doesnt feel very good and makes you feel like the outcast of the family. Just try to not let it get you down. And for every dis you hear remind yourself of the compliments instead! :)


Quoting goddess99:

You'll have to develop selective hearing to go along with her selective memory =) I like the hair.



Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 9:16 AM

In the end I do what I please and I don't care, I just HATE the fact that she won't admit to what she said or even worse totally pretend that she never said that / act like I made it up.  I'm a good person, a good mom, I've done well for myself, I hold an executive position in a multi million dollar company, if my bosses don't say squat about my hair or the way I dress ...it says a lot.  I am happy in my marriage and my daughter needs for nothing ;  I can get up every morning and walk with my head held high.  Whether my mom approves of my hair color is the least of my worries.


Quoting AydensMommy1008:

Ditto! And I know how you feel, I get jabbed at by my Mom, Sis and Grandma who are ALL on the straight and narrow as well just bc I am not like them. Doesnt feel very good and makes you feel like the outcast of the family. Just try to not let it get you down. And for every dis you hear remind yourself of the compliments instead! :)

 

Quoting goddess99:

You'll have to develop selective hearing to go along with her selective memory =) I like the hair.

 

 


 

BlueSparrow
by Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 9:23 AM

I'm glad my mom is the opposite. She was the one that did my hair in that fashion when i was in high school. She was supportive like that.

Oh and i love your hair.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Nov. 6, 2013 at 9:25 AM

thanks !! Wel you have a cool mom and I can only hope I stay like this and be a cool mom for my DD too !  


Quoting BlueSparrow:

I'm glad my mom is the opposite. She was the one that did my hair in that fashion when i was in high school. She was supportive like that.

Oh and i love your hair.


 

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