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Feeling Really Down - is this normal?

Posted by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 1:28 AM
  • 8 Replies

Hi everyone - don't know where to really turn right now but wanted to get some insight - espcially from 'veteran' moms. I am almost 7 months post partum - so I doubt this can be post partum depression but I guess I am just feeling really low about myself physically. I am - without sounding conceited - an attractive woman but I feel so so so horrible and MILES away from feeling attractive. :( I gained 45 pounds during my pregnancy and am down a good portion of that but am struggling with feeling attractive now. I also went from dressing very very well for my high-powered career before my baby to now being a stay at home mom and spend more time in leggings with my hair up.

I hope this post diesn't sound vain but while I LOVE being a mommy and embrace this new 'high-powered' position, I am feeling so frumpy, mom-like, and I guess my self-esteem is just really low. I find myself comparing myself to everyone, feeling inadequate for my husband eventhough he always makes me feel attractive, and just being so critical of myself. WHAT is this about?! I felt I always had a healthy image of myself. I took pride in my appearace but was never obsessed with it and was OK with myself. None of my close friends have children so I need people I can relate to right now.

Any advice or experience?

by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 1:28 AM
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Replies (1-8):
amberNewman0213
by Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 1:31 AM
Omg I felt the same way. What made me feel better till I got into shape was a body shaper. It works WONDERS also I splurged on some new clothes for myself. And nothing to perk u up like a push up bra.
3brown1blue
by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 1:45 AM
Idk I've always been insecure so I'm not much help. Sorry :/

bouncing momcowgirltattoodrinking beer

Jaimegurl23
by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 1:56 AM

Thanks for the replies. It's actually painful and it's really bothering me. I started spin recently but of course its hard to find the time with being a mom and everything else...but I am trying. I want to get some new clothes but my budget is wayyy tighter than when I was working so any ideas of inexpensive but CUTE clothes? Just really need a self-esteem boost! I also really hate that I am comparing myself to other women big time!! I feel EVERYONE is prettier, better, etc...I want to feel good about myself.

momof4kids257
by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 2:00 AM

I gained as much as 65 pounds with my 4th child (trouble with sugar) yeah it's hard to loose and it doesn't just fall off fast enough. I became a walker after my first child and kept up with it. It didn't matter if I did it every day it made me feel better when I did it though and my baby enjoyed the scenery and the toddlers would talk about everything they saw. And yes even that far postpartum you can have sadness and if it bothers you ask the doctor. No question is ever silly when it comes to taking care of you! Take care and Cheer!! Your gorgeous!

want10more
by Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 3:20 AM

oh heavens! i never had a HIGH POWERED job/career, but i had a fairly good job for this small town. wore dresses, suits, heels, etc. now i'm a sahm. and i live in sweats and my hubby's huge t shirts. and so yeah i'm frumpy almost all the time now!

for me, it's not really a problem. for YOU it is! you sound like you are much richer, much more successful, much younger and much more attractive than i am. and hey, no sweat! but cuz that's the kinda gal you are? take 2 days outta the week, get a personal trainer (after buying some really sezzy work out outfits). get your hair and nails done, at least twice a month. get away from your baby and have a lil ME time.... just long enuff to make you lonesome again for your baby.

but yet don't kid yourself, post partum can go on FOREVER if you don't address it! no shame in that! tell ur obgyn. a lil bit of a bump w/ meds won't kill ya. just make ya feel a lil more like YOU until you find your foots.

i've had 6 kids. they're cute as hell but dayumed hard on the ole 'hourglass'. 20 yrs ago everything was at least a foot higher! now i can trip on a nip! heh! but ya know? there's nothing more beautiful to me, than the scars and effects of mommydom. we earned em! tc of yourself, you're not just a mommy now, you are a sexy woman, w/ a powerful career and a great hubby. THAT is who you are, mommy or no!~

johnny4ever
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by Mrs. Depp on Nov. 22, 2013 at 6:16 AM


Quoting Jaimegurl23:

Thanks for the replies. It's actually painful and it's really bothering me. I started spin recently but of course its hard to find the time with being a mom and everything else...but I am trying. I want to get some new clothes but my budget is wayyy tighter than when I was working so any ideas of inexpensive but CUTE clothes? Just really need a self-esteem boost! I also really hate that I am comparing myself to other women big time!! I feel EVERYONE is prettier, better, etc...I want to feel good about myself.

I think you are normal sweetie!I have heard fo Spin but never tried it.I myself have low self esteem at times...group hug

goddess99
by Michelle on Nov. 22, 2013 at 7:41 AM

I'm a sahm and I dress the way I always did. I know alot of moms who live in yoga pants and tshirts but that's just way too dressed down for me. Go shopping and try to find some cute clothes, maybe try to find a new hairstyle that's fun and chic but doen't take alot of effort.

Jaimegurl23
by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 2:40 PM
Ladies thank you so much. So nice to hear others felt this way to or how NOT to feel this way. Many of my friends work so I don't gave many people to talk to during the day and aside from feeling frumpy - I feel isolated. Like my life is just my daughter and husband. I am going to make it a goal to do little things to feel better about myself and raise my self esteem. I don't have unrealistic goals like fitting into my once size zero pants - just want to feel toned and healthy again. I do want to meet more moms to talk and hang out with. Have any of you found places to make new friends?
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