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Does this make me a bad mother?

Posted by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 8:06 AM
  • 9 Replies

First off let me say I love my girls more than anything and I would die if something were to ever happen to them! Now with that being said sometimes I wonder what the hell was I thinking when we made the decision to have a family?! I did not truly understand the depth of worry, fear, frustration, joy or love I would feel. This is lifelong. I have found at times of extreme frustration or worry that I wonder If I knew now what I wondered about before having them, would I have made the same decisions? Does that make me a horrible person?!

by on Nov. 22, 2013 at 8:06 AM
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Replies (1-9):
goddess99
by Michelle on Nov. 22, 2013 at 8:10 AM
1 mom liked this

Nope I think it just makes you human. I think many of us at one time or another looked at our kids and thought - what the hell was I thinking. lol

MaineMammax2
by Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 8:17 AM
1 mom liked this
Thank you. Guess I needed to hear I'm not the only person out there wondering about my decision making, lol.


Quoting goddess99:

Nope I think it just makes you human. I think many of us at one time or another looked at our kids and thought - what the hell was I thinking. lol


amberNewman0213
by Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 8:21 AM
1 mom liked this
I LOVE my children but my daughter had colic and there were times I swore I brought home the wrong child. I would not trade her for the world now. But that was a long long long 10 months.
MaineMammax2
by Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 8:31 AM
I can not imagine my life without them , they are the world to me. I was completely unprepared for the emotional investment. When you first think about having a baby you think warm and fuzzy happy thoughts, lol. Little did I know it's a lifelong commitment to worry about their wellbeing! I am a worrier. I find sometimes I'm slapping myself on the forehead thinking, what the hell was I thinking making the choice to have someone to worry about forever!


Quoting amberNewman0213:

I LOVE my children but my daughter had colic and there were times I swore I brought home the wrong child. I would not trade her for the world now. But that was a long long long 10 months.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this

nah you're not a bad parent, I've wondered the same thing many times.  I often think how different my life would be today if I never had her.  Don't get me wrong I love my daughter, hell I sought full custody of her and have just refused shared custody to her father.  But being a mom is thankless job, your whole life. You can't possibly understand what it is until you have lived through it.

Jenn8604
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 3:16 PM
1 mom liked this
No.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
clairewait
by Bronze Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 4:57 PM

Are you on birth control? Have you considered having your hormones checked?

I only ask these two things, not to sound like a total whack-o, but to say that the ONLY time I've had similar feelings is when my hormones are all out of whack.

Let me be clear: I think what you are feeling is common. I'm not sure it is normal. (The fact that you are asking if you are a "horrible person" means you don't think it is normal either.)

I think most women live the majority of our lives putting up with unbalanced hormones and the variety of side-effects that result. The best thing I've done for myself (and my family, let's be honest) in the last 8 years, is get off hormonal birth control, and start tracking my mood and my cycle.

I've identified exactly when my mood is hormone controlled, what that looks like (and it is scary), and started to work with my doctor to find a solution.

I don't tend to be a naturally insecure person, and I don't tend to second guess myself and my decisions. But when my hormones are messed up, those are the first two things that happen. I get really insecure, I second guess everything, anxiety/worry goes through the roof, and I become super sensitive.

I dont' think it makes us horrible, but I don't think we are meant to feel this way either. As humans.


Claire Wait

My blog: TheUnderToad.com

Kitty_Myrick
by Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this

This dose not make you a bad mother. This make you human.

pumpkin pie

MaineMammax2
by Member on Nov. 22, 2013 at 5:13 PM
No birth control for me. Just wondered if anyone else felt like they bit off more than they could chew and felt guilty for wondering what it would be like if we had made different decisions. I'm glad to see I am not alone.


Quoting clairewait:

Are you on birth control? Have you considered having your hormones checked?

I only ask these two things, not to sound like a total whack-o, but to say that the ONLY time I've had similar feelings is when my hormones are all out of whack.

Let me be clear: I think what you are feeling is common. I'm not sure it is normal. (The fact that you are asking if you are a "horrible person" means you don't think it is normal either.)

I think most women live the majority of our lives putting up with unbalanced hormones and the variety of side-effects that result. The best thing I've done for myself (and my family, let's be honest) in the last 8 years, is get off hormonal birth control, and start tracking my mood and my cycle.

I've identified exactly when my mood is hormone controlled, what that looks like (and it is scary), and started to work with my doctor to find a solution.

I don't tend to be a naturally insecure person, and I don't tend to second guess myself and my decisions. But when my hormones are messed up, those are the first two things that happen. I get really insecure, I second guess everything, anxiety/worry goes through the roof, and I become super sensitive.

I dont' think it makes us horrible, but I don't think we are meant to feel this way either. As humans.



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