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What should I say???

Posted by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:52 AM
  • 8 Replies

How do I tell my husband that I'm not going to be rolling over about his help around the house anymore? I've been between jobs and at first I was okay with cleaning the house. But during this time, I have gotten sick and he just walks right past what needs to be done. Case in point: dishes. I was dry heaving for about 6 hours last week. He gets home and I had already told him that I wasn't feeling good. He just saw the dishes, gave me "the look" (the one that says "Really, you didn't get that done?"), and walked away from them. He hasn't lifted a finger to help. Not one dish, load of laundry, or furniture dusted. I have a job lined up. I'm waiting on the temp agency to get back to me with start date details. So how do I tell him nicely (without jumping down his throat and pissing him off) that he needs to start helping around here?

by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 7:52 AM
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Replies (1-8):
goddess99
by Michelle on Dec. 27, 2013 at 8:50 AM

Just tell him you're not the maid. You need him to help you around the house. Tell him exactly what you want him to do, vacuum and dust or dishes and laundry... Good luck!!

Halobetasol
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 9:26 AM
1 mom liked this

just kindly ask for help. say you feel bad and your getting behind and you could really use his help. i know it sucks to kiss but because he should help anyways but, do what it takes to get into his head to make him feel needed. instead of asking can you, try will you. i hope he cares. goodluck!

Janet
by Ruby Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 10:46 AM

Yes, with what all you said I agree with her this might be the best approach.

Quoting Halobetasol:

just kindly ask for help. say you feel bad and your getting behind and you could really use his help. i know it sucks to kiss but because he should help anyways but, do what it takes to get into his head to make him feel needed. instead of asking can you, try will you. i hope he cares. goodluck!


mrsjksimmons
by Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 10:47 AM

I just hate how he doesn't lift a finger to help me but gets on my case about the house being messy. I'm not the only one who can clean you know? I just don't know how to say anything without "offending" him. Yesterday, he was home because he was having some chest pains. He made a comment about how I must have missed a shelf when I dusted earlier this week. Now the thing is if it bothered him enough to comment, the pledge and dust rag are under the kitchen sink. Why couldn't he get up and do it himself? He has chest pain all the time from stress (and the dr has said nothing is wrong with him) so it's not like that could have kept him doing it.

Quoting Halobetasol:

just kindly ask for help. say you feel bad and your getting behind and you could really use his help. i know it sucks to kiss but because he should help anyways but, do what it takes to get into his head to make him feel needed. instead of asking can you, try will you. i hope he cares. goodluck!


splatz
by Sarah on Dec. 27, 2013 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this

If you are worried about it turning into an argument, maybe writing a note would be easier? Sometimes I feel like with heated topics writing down how you are feeling works better.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Dec. 27, 2013 at 3:38 PM


Quoting goddess99:

Just tell him you're not the maid. You need him to help you around the house. Tell him exactly what you want him to do, vacuum and dust or dishes and laundry... Good luck!!


awesomemommy2
by Member on Dec. 27, 2013 at 3:41 PM
I wouldn't say anything until you are working.
MomtoAlexis05
by on Dec. 27, 2013 at 10:50 PM

 I hope he would go for this to, as this is what I would do...so remember to go at it delicately and at the Right Time!!! NOT when either of you are already talking about it, bring it up when you're both in a Good mood over coffee or dinner or call for a pizza when the kids are at a friends sleepover and just say hey i know you've been a little concerned about me being behind lately and I was wondering, w/ my work and w/ my being ill and all, what you think you could do perhaps to pitch in. and could we talk about this? Good Luck

Quoting Halobetasol:

just kindly ask for help. say you feel bad and your getting behind and you could really use his help. i know it sucks to kiss but because he should help anyways but, do what it takes to get into his head to make him feel needed. instead of asking can you, try will you. i hope he cares. goodluck!

 

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