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Should parents manage their high school students school work, or should it be the student's job?

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I have 5 children, but my oldest is only four, so I don't have personal experience with this. Of course I know young children need guidance. But IMO, by high school teenagers should be responsible for doing their homework, studying, etc. In four short years they will be in college. Mom and dad can't be over their shoulder forcing them to go to class, do their homework, and study. 

My sister and I were discussing this today. She has a teenager that she micromanages. Yes, she has a 3.8 GPA, is an amazing 3 sport athlete, does lots of community service, etc. But at this point I think it should be up to her, or else she'll make it to college and won't know what to do with herself!

Just curios, what do you all think?

by on Jan. 12, 2014 at 1:47 AM
Replies (31-40):
Proud-mama-05
by Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 2:43 PM
I don't even d o that to my younger children. Yes I make sure they do it and help if needed but that's their responsibility not mine.
lulumomof2
by Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 2:47 PM

I have a 15 yo son (10th grade) I don't manage his school work. He is old enough to know what needs to be done when. I do ask him about what's going on in school and how his classes are going. But it his responsibility to study for tests and complete their homework. My son has a 4.15 GPA so I don't feel I need to keep on him to do any school work.

Liastele
by on Jan. 13, 2014 at 2:57 PM

99.9% of teens are lazy. This is a fact. If you don't make them get off their ass, most will sit there all day. I want my kids to get in to a good college so I will "nag" them for as long as it takes for them to become serious about studying.

Little Miss 3.8 with 3 sports will likely be recruited to a good college on a scholarship. All of the big colleges need to fill their women's sports teams. The "independent" teen that is sleeping in class right now will likely be a community college drop out within 2 semesters in the adult world.

lulumomof2
by Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 3:04 PM
1 mom liked this

 Just a question, so if your kids are "serious" about studying by the time they are in college, are you going to nag them then? At some point they have to learn to take responsibility for their own school work (hopefully they have learned that before high school).

Quoting Liastele:

99.9% of teens are lazy. This is a fact. If you don't make them get off their ass, most will sit there all day. I want my kids to get in to a good college so I will "nag" them for as long as it takes for them to become serious about studying.

Little Miss 3.8 with 3 sports will likely be recruited to a good college on a scholarship. All of the big colleges need to fill their women's sports teams. The "independent" teen that is sleeping in class right now will likely be a community college drop out within 2 semesters in the adult world.

 

Dobermans are like Potato chips, nobody can have just one!

Liastele
by on Jan. 13, 2014 at 3:08 PM

College graduation with a 3.0 or higher is written in as a requirement to collect from their trust fund so I'm really not concerned. If they want to throw their life away, whatever. The bank of mom and dad closes at 18 years and 0 days unless they are enrolled in high school or college and passing their classes. If they don't take responsibility for their grades at age 18 then they will be sad. 

Quoting lulumomof2:

 Just a question, so if your kids are "serious" about studying by the time they are in college, are you going to nag them then? At some point they have to learn to take responsibility for their own school work (hopefully they have learned that before high school).

Quoting Liastele:

99.9% of teens are lazy. This is a fact. If you don't make them get off their ass, most will sit there all day. I want my kids to get in to a good college so I will "nag" them for as long as it takes for them to become serious about studying.

Little Miss 3.8 with 3 sports will likely be recruited to a good college on a scholarship. All of the big colleges need to fill their women's sports teams. The "independent" teen that is sleeping in class right now will likely be a community college drop out within 2 semesters in the adult world.



lulumomof2
by Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 3:24 PM

I'm not trying to be a smart @ss, but if college graduation is a requirement and your not really concerned, they why nag them?

 

Quoting Liastele:

College graduation with a 3.0 or higher is written in as a requirement to collect from their trust fund so I'm really not concerned. If they want to throw their life away, whatever. The bank of mom and dad closes at 18 years and 0 days unless they are enrolled in high school or college and passing their classes. If they don't take responsibility for their grades at age 18 then they will be sad. 

Quoting lulumomof2:

 Just a question, so if your kids are "serious" about studying by the time they are in college, are you going to nag them then? At some point they have to learn to take responsibility for their own school work (hopefully they have learned that before high school).

Quoting Liastele:

99.9% of teens are lazy. This is a fact. If you don't make them get off their ass, most will sit there all day. I want my kids to get in to a good college so I will "nag" them for as long as it takes for them to become serious about studying.

Little Miss 3.8 with 3 sports will likely be recruited to a good college on a scholarship. All of the big colleges need to fill their women's sports teams. The "independent" teen that is sleeping in class right now will likely be a community college drop out within 2 semesters in the adult world.

 

 

 

Dobermans are like Potato chips, nobody can have just one!

Howardx5
by Member on Jan. 13, 2014 at 3:39 PM
1 mom liked this
Teens are still kids. And its my job to make sure my kids are on track. I don't quit guiding them just because they're in high school.
JRSMOM0621
by on Jan. 13, 2014 at 3:43 PM

Actually this was a hot topic while I was going to high school. Many teens had to have assignment books and the TEACHERS had to put in assignments and the parents would sign if the teen did it. This to me was "oh my god are you serious?" its not that hard to come home and do homework. In high school I worked 30 plus hours a week AND  do homework, Some might say that is BS however that was my work schedule from 16 on ward. I took two 15 minute breaks and sometimes I had to take an hour lunch, got home at 10pm and did homework. But there was some kids that needed their hand held because they were just too lazy. Now there were some kids that needed to be sat on due to ADD or ADHD those I felt that was okay for but the ones that didnt just because they didnt want to.... They needed a slap with a stupid stick

Mommy to one angel, 1 crazy toddler and 1 on the way!!
UpSheRises
by on Jan. 13, 2014 at 3:44 PM

Depends on the kid. I think most teens should be able to manage most of their work independently. I have ADD so i still needed a lot of support from my parents in high school.

terpmama
by on Jan. 13, 2014 at 3:47 PM
By that age my parents has very basic rules... Homework was to be completed before bed on week nights and by noon on Sunday for weekends. Papers were due for editing the morning of the day before they were due (if you wanted moms help editing - I tended to miss stuff in my own papers, like commas or teh/the because I read too fast and know what's coming - I could email her in college too)...

My guys are still pre-k or younger but m general theory is that as they get older they get more responsibility and I get less
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