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Sometimes I don't understand my SO.

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 8:50 PM
  • 10 Replies

little things he says...make me so mad..I raise my voice and don't speak softly...wish we could sit and discuss things as two to the marriage thing.. and I am more introverted so I have a harder time starting conversations...he does the avoidance thing...why do men do that?? I am confused because we laugh , joke and talk about everything e day and the next day it is like he turned into the Incredible Hulk-only difference is he is not green...ut h is men attimes inwat he says. Is it posible for mn to say things without bein aware of what is coming out of there mouth, unaware of the way it sounds and it hurts my feelings. I know what I hear and it isn't what I would expect to hear-it is mean. At times I bring it up to him what he said and he will be "I didn't say that". My hearing is my strongest sense. I am soft spoken and his hearing is getting bad. Sometimes he may use selective hearing which is probably typical in most marriages. I just don't understand why he acts the way he does. He says things to me as if I sayed them or am thinking them but I am not talking about or thinking anything of what he is accusing me of doing. I hope that alot of this is just typic marriage stuff. We seem to have a good relationship but the last month or so . Alot of things are stressfulin both of our lives and I feel at times that we take things out on each other that are occurring with famiy, friends acquantances but since we are together, we tend to take things out on one another, the things that aren't me/him issues. I hope that makes sense. I feel confused-no one to talk to except CMladies. Can you offer me words of encouragement, support, hope and love!! Greatly appreciated. Thanks. I love him more than life itself..he understands me better than anyone and I really don't want this marriage to go down the negative path..he is truly my best friend. When should I say I am sorry and when should he say sorry. What is the best way to communicate in a friendly way without cat fighting. He says thing to me that I am not doing?? Wouldn't that make anyone mad??

by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 8:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 6:52 AM
I get you totally! I have been quiet for years and finally broke through.My social anxiety didn't help either.My hubby mumbles and I can hear it fully.He works around machinery.
by Michelle on Jan. 15, 2014 at 7:41 AM

 I'm sorry, keep trying to get him to talk about it. Hope it gets better!

by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 11:09 AM

marriage is not easy ... I know I'm on my second one.   Communication is key. keep trying

by Jennifer on Jan. 15, 2014 at 5:10 PM
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Hope things work out for you.

by Gold Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:22 AM
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HUGS! I hope you two work everything out. I find that waiting until you have thought through your emotions and thoughts thoroughly helps. And don't use accusatory language. Just try to be non threatening (use words, like I feel like ___, instead of something that can upset him/blame him)
Just do your best.
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by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:15 AM

I would give each other some space for a couple weeks, that's my advice. Just be an impecable listener from here on out and never jump to conclusions. Nor should he so make a note of it on the fridge. "In this house, we don't jump to conclusions, and we listen with love." Something like that. 

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:17 AM

Oh yelling makes it worse

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:31 PM

I would try to discuss how you feel with him and work out a system where you try to talk to eachother in calm ways!

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:38 PM
Im right there with you! Mine says rude and hateful things randomly they even hurt my feelings, however he says so youll get over it. Which makes it hurt even more. Perhaps we could chat via messages and help one another understand or at least be there for the other.
by on Jan. 17, 2014 at 2:10 PM
Try going out for coffee to talk. It might cause him to watch his tone. And give u a chance to say what u really think.
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