Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

How many of you can related to this ???

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 11:11 AM
  • 30 Replies
1 mom liked this

I read this article this morning and I was just "Wow'ed"  :

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet."Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it's learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO!

by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 11:11 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
mrsnoble2004
by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 3:04 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't know that I can agree with all of the article. My dh and I are coming up on our 10 year anniversary and I still anticipate that lunch time phone call. If he gets busy at work and I don't get that call my day just doesn't feel the same. 

Roo1234
by Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 3:07 PM
1 mom liked this
This article exemplifies the exact reason I cringe every time I hear someone say "I love him/her, but I'm not in love"
Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 3:57 PM

this article hit me like a ton of bricks

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Jan. 15, 2014 at 4:01 PM

 Don't get me wrong I have not been away from DH, not even for 1 night since we got married and sleeping without him would just feel wrong. My husband calls me everyday at 3h30pm too and when he doesn't do it - it doesn't feel right - we just can't hold conversations on the phone like we used to.    There are  points in this article that hit home nonetheless.  

Quoting mrsnoble2004:

I don't know that I can agree with all of the article. My dh and I are coming up on our 10 year anniversary and I still anticipate that lunch time phone call. If he gets busy at work and I don't get that call my day just doesn't feel the same. 

 

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Jan. 15, 2014 at 5:08 PM

My hubby works for the TSA so I go all day without talking to him. Once in a blue moon he might call me but then it's only for a few mins.

Quoting mrsnoble2004:

I don't know that I can agree with all of the article. My dh and I are coming up on our 10 year anniversary and I still anticipate that lunch time phone call. If he gets busy at work and I don't get that call my day just doesn't feel the same. 


goddess99
by Michelle on Jan. 15, 2014 at 5:13 PM
2 moms liked this

 I'm not sure I agree with the article. To me learning to love someone is settling for someone. I'm still as deeply in love with my dh as I was before we married. We've only been married 6 years but I found the right person for me, only took me 35 years.

mrsnoble2004
by on Jan. 15, 2014 at 6:25 PM

Honestly some days the phone call can be less than a minute but for me it still counts.

Quoting MistressMinerva:

My hubby works for the TSA so I go all day without talking to him. Once in a blue moon he might call me but then it's only for a few mins.

Quoting mrsnoble2004:

I don't know that I can agree with all of the article. My dh and I are coming up on our 10 year anniversary and I still anticipate that lunch time phone call. If he gets busy at work and I don't get that call my day just doesn't feel the same. 



celestegood
by Gold Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:18 AM
1 mom liked this
I agree. Falling in love is easy. Loving your spouse, is work. But very worth it:)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 9:40 AM

 I've only been married 3 years and it also took me 35 years to find the right person, I love him more than I've ever loved anyone my entire life but we do hit a lot of the points in this article.  I've sworned to myself that if he ever leaves me, I never want to be in a relationship again, I give up on love.

Quoting goddess99:

 I'm not sure I agree with the article. To me learning to love someone is settling for someone. I'm still as deeply in love with my dh as I was before we married. We've only been married 6 years but I found the right person for me, only took me 35 years.

 

goddess99
by Michelle on Jan. 16, 2014 at 9:46 AM

I hear this all the time from people. People on here, friends, even family members. It makes me sad because what I've realized that the people I know who say it, all have the same factor, they aren't happy with themselves. I'm not saying that's true about you because I wouldn't know that but it's true with every people I personally know.  So I'm sorry you feel that way.

Quoting Jinxed8:

 I've only been married 3 years and it also took me 35 years to find the right person, I love him more than I've ever loved anyone my entire life but we do hit a lot of the points in this article.  I've sworned to myself that if he ever leaves me, I never want to be in a relationship again, I give up on love.

Quoting goddess99:

 I'm not sure I agree with the article. To me learning to love someone is settling for someone. I'm still as deeply in love with my dh as I was before we married. We've only been married 6 years but I found the right person for me, only took me 35 years.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN