Ok so I am a sometimes insecure BUT very intuitive person and when I "smell" something, I'm going to sniff it out. I went through my husbands stuff although when we were dating (but I was pregnant) and found a LOT of pics of women in bathing suits, naked and porn. Told him I didn't like it and ended up at another time later on snooping again and found him sending it to himself in another account. I flipped out. I was very pregnant and was destroyed. I moved out temporarily. He talked me into coming back and was well aware that if anything was found again, i would leave because he promosed. and months later I found a hard drive of porn that he downloaded after I moved back in eventhough the entire time he was swearing he wasn't doing anything anymore. He basically blames me that if I didn't go through his stuff I wouldn't be in so much pain. If I didn't go through his stuff he wouldnt have been spiteful and kept doing it. I am considering divorce for this and many other reasons. I won't tolerate lying or spiteful actions because that destroys a relationship and I feel it's very much on purpose. Wanted to get your opinion about what his side is. Is it ok to retaliate that way because he didn't like me going through his stuff? I feel like he's telling me I deserve it then? So confused? I know going through people's things isn't right but I feel it doesn't really warrant the lying or continuing these actions because he's pissed....especially when he is being quite different to my face. I feel he allowed us to get married when he knew that would be a deal breaker for me and allowed me to enter into a lie because he knew what he was doing behind my back. And ps its more the sneakiness, lying and spite that is a deal beaker than really what this is all about. It's about him not taking my feelings or me seriously.
on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:31 AM