I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO IMPLODE PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im 24 weeks pregnant and have two kids DD 5 and DS 6. DS has mild aspergers. DH lost his father two weeks ago and he is very depressed and angry. I feel like I have to stay positive all the time for him cause whenever i am not 100% positive he feeds off of it and his mood and attitude turn angry and depressed and it affects the kids. Today I am feeling cranky and tired. And he is at his mom's helping her but he was supposed to go first thing in the morning and instead he wouldnt wake up till 10 and didnt leave till 11 and didnt have time to go get me food and we only have one car so he obviously had the car and I had no milk no cheese no bread and the house is a mess (I am a hoarder and I am working thru the house). and we are supposed to have a weekend for just the two of us DH and I but of cofurse we couldnt find a babysitter because even though I am the first person to watch friends and family's kids nobody wants to return the favor so instead the military is paying for acouples weekend with two nights in a hotel and all meals with my kids included. and our only alone time is during our conferences. We never get time to just the two of us. I am so unbelievably stressed out about money I lost my job back in December. And we are having money prblems we cant afford our bills and the goal was DH was supposed to have a second job by February but obviously thats not happening yet. He was supposed to get bereavement leave after his dad died but instead he just missed two days of unpaid work. We are so far behind I am scared. And I'm at my wits end. I feel like i'm going to fall apart but i cant afford to. and I cant even cry because then Dh feels bad and starts saying he is a waste of space and a horrible person and it scares me to death his negative attitude because he has gotten to a point in the past where he became suicidal. and i ask everybody what can i do or say to help him. cause I have Aspergers and social issues I am still clueless with. Empathy. I have a hard time being understanding how to act or say to someone who has dealt with such a loss. I DONT KNOW WhAT TO SAY OR DO!!! and the only thing people say is be there for him. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!! OF COURSE I AM HERE FOR HIM BUT THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING ELSE TO BE DONE!!!