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Letter from BM....

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 10:08 AM
  • 13 Replies
3 moms liked this

 Some of you may have seen my posts on CM about dh ex that is in rehab for drugs. Although she and I have not seen eye to eye and have not gotten along when she came to dh and I about getting help we put it all aside and helped her get into rehab. Even though she has no legal rights to my sks we still helped her just because she is still a human being trying to get help. Well, one of the things that she had to do in her counseling was to write letters to the three people that she hurt the most. I knew that one of the letters would be to sd (and it was) and the second would be to ss (and it was) but I was not sure who her third letter would be to...until it came in the mail Saturday. It was to me. She was telling me that she was sorry for everything and that when she did all of the things she did to me to try to mess up my marriage that she was high when she did it and how sorry she was. She told me that there were things that I was not aware of. She told me about times she would call dh and offer "things" to him for money to get her fix. She told me that she knew that I was the closest thing to a friend that she had and that she knows she messed up and wanted to fix it. She told me that she would do anything to make things right. I was shocked but decided to write her back with what I wanted her to do to make things right. I told her that I wanted her to get off the drugs and get her head together. I want her to get a job and get on her feet. I want her to go back to college like she had always talked about. I told her that I wanted her to show me she could be a better person. When she shows me that I would forget all that has happened. I told her that I had forgiven her the day she went into rehab but that I would start with a clean slate when she could do those things. She has put me and dh and the kids through hell but if she can admit her mistakes I can be the bigger person and start new too.

by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 10:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 10:57 AM

wow

charleyangel317
by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 11:03 AM

 I know.

Quoting Jinxed8:

wow

 

babyblujems
by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 11:04 AM
1 mom liked this

I think it is amazing that she wrote to you and apologized.  In all honesty you didn't know the ways in which she had hurt you and she didn't have to.  I think that's a huge step in the right direction.  I wish your family luck, drugsare awful and as bad as they are for the people who take them, they are worse for the family.

charleyangel317
by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 11:09 AM

 There have been a few times during the last 13 years when we knew she was not on drugs and she and I got along great where we would talk and things were good. It was when she started the drugs that she started neglecting the kids and there were problems.

Quoting babyblujems:

I think it is amazing that she wrote to you and apologized.  In all honesty you didn't know the ways in which she had hurt you and she didn't have to.  I think that's a huge step in the right direction.  I wish your family luck, drugsare awful and as bad as they are for the people who take them, they are worse for the family.

 

babyblujems
by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 11:19 AM

I know what you mean. I am the child of a woman who was addicted to drugs.  I was born addicted to speed, my sister was born with some sign of fetal alcohol syndrome, but she just smoked pot with they other two and they are pretty ok.  Thankfully my dad got custody of me early on, but in the three years she had me there were abusive boyfriends, needles strewn around, I was left home alone a lot with my infant sister (I was 2), we were almost never fed etc etc etc.  Thankfully like I said my dad got custody and I am ok, great in fact when compared with my siblings.  It's great that you and dh have your children.  It's also really good that she is trying, but drugs are hard to get off of.  And the more she has relapsed in the past the harder it might be to see a relapse because they get better at lying, hiding and more.

Quoting charleyangel317:

 There have been a few times during the last 13 years when we knew she was not on drugs and she and I got along great where we would talk and things were good. It was when she started the drugs that she started neglecting the kids and there were problems.

Quoting babyblujems:

I think it is amazing that she wrote to you and apologized.  In all honesty you didn't know the ways in which she had hurt you and she didn't have to.  I think that's a huge step in the right direction.  I wish your family luck, drugsare awful and as bad as they are for the people who take them, they are worse for the family.

 


Pammi86
by Pamela on Jan. 27, 2014 at 12:20 PM

Wow well I think your amazing for helping this woman!

lacie9905
by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 1:05 PM

Love it! Truely hope things work out for the best for ALL of you. :)

ihave1
by Member on Jan. 27, 2014 at 1:30 PM

wow isright.  Thats so awesome of her to be able to do that. I really hope that she can get better and change. 

Quoting Jinxed8:

wow


wendythewriter
by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 1:37 PM

Good for you, for being open to starting fresh with her and not holding the past against her. That is awesome!

charleyangel317
by on Jan. 27, 2014 at 1:40 PM

 Me too. I am just so tired of the drama that we have dealt with and if she can let it go and move on and admit what was done then so can I.

Quoting ihave1:

wow isright.  Thats so awesome of her to be able to do that. I really hope that she can get better and change. 

Quoting Jinxed8:

wow


 

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