My 10 year old ds (adoption gets finalized tomorrow) has been invited to a sleep over this coming Saturday and I'm not 100% sure I should let him go.
Just a little back story. We got custody of him back in September 2013, after a year and a half of being physically and sexually abused along with his 7 year old sister by their stepfather. When we got him he was very violent towards his little sister and started showing aggression towards my girls. He got to the point that he was rubbing himself on them and telling them nasty things and he almost shoved his little sister into our brush pile while we were burning it. After a hard decision we finally for the safety of everyone admitted him to a children mental ward. He spent part of October all the way to right before Christmas in there. With medication and therapy he is a totally different kid, polite, pretty well-mannered for the most part, his behaviour towards the girls has changed big time.
The problem, not very often but sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night scared and will sometimes cry out for us, he even will have an accident in his bed. He has yet to spend the night with friends, only family. I really would like to see him go, he needs friends but another part of me is scared for him. What if he wakes up and gets scared that he cries or he ends up peeing in his sleeping bag? Then the kids will totally make fun of him. We have worked hard to pick up his confidence, just one bad night could really hurt him. What would you do?
EDIT: So after talking with the parents and talking between ourselves, we have decided that spending the night probably isn't a good idea for right now. So we have decided to let him go at the 2 oclock drop off and we will be picking him back up at 10pm. The other parents thought it would be better if he had a sleepover when it was just him and their son, instead of with 7 other boys. We have it planned for the follow weekend for that to happen. Thanks everyone for the advice.