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Should we let him go? EDIT

My 10 year old ds (adoption gets finalized tomorrow) has been invited to a sleep over this coming Saturday and I'm not 100% sure I should let him go.

Just a little back story. We got custody of him back in September 2013, after a year and a half of being physically and sexually abused along with his 7 year old sister by their stepfather. When we got him he was very violent towards his little sister and started showing aggression towards my girls. He got to the point that he was rubbing himself on them and telling them nasty things and he almost shoved his little sister into our brush pile while we were burning it. After a hard decision we finally for the safety of everyone admitted him to a children mental ward. He spent part of October  all the way to right before Christmas in there. With medication and therapy he is a totally different kid, polite, pretty well-mannered for the most part, his behaviour towards the girls has changed big time.

The problem, not very often but sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night scared and will sometimes cry out for us, he even will have an accident in his bed. He has yet to spend the night with friends, only family. I really would like to see him go, he needs friends but another part of me is scared for him. What if he wakes up and gets scared that he cries or he ends up peeing in his sleeping bag? Then the kids will totally make fun of him. We have worked hard to pick up his confidence, just one bad night could really hurt him. What would you do?

EDIT: So after talking with the parents and talking between ourselves, we have decided that spending the night probably isn't a good idea for right now. So we have decided to let him go at the 2 oclock drop off and we will be picking him back up at 10pm. The other parents thought it would be better if he had a sleepover when it was just him and their son, instead of with 7 other boys. We have it planned for the follow weekend for that to happen. Thanks everyone for the advice.

by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:25 AM
Replies (21-29):
waytomanykids10
by Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:06 PM

 I have 9 children total, plus adding 8 more kids, that is 17 kids in one house. I would go crazy.

Quoting Mselb1925:

Maybe have the sleepover at your house?

 

johnny4ever
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Happy 11th Birthday Daniel!!!
Yesterday at 7:30 AM
by Mrs. Depp on Feb. 5, 2014 at 3:29 PM

Thanks for the update!

charleyangel317
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 4:30 PM

 Glad you figured some thing out.

goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:22 PM

That's nice, is he disappointed?

waytomanykids10
by Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 6:59 PM

 Yeah he is but at the same time he is ok with it.

Quoting goddess99:

That's nice, is he disappointed?

 

goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 5, 2014 at 7:06 PM

That's good. Hope he has a good time!

Quoting waytomanykids10:

 Yeah he is but at the same time he is ok with it.

Quoting goddess99:

That's nice, is he disappointed?

 


celestegood
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 9:03 PM
I see you updated. I can only say you are a wonderful couple to take those kids in. God bless you.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
suetoo
by Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 1:33 PM

Congratulations on the adoption. I can only imagine your relief at having the paperwork behind you. :-)

splatz
by Sarah on Feb. 6, 2014 at 1:38 PM

I think you did the right thing! 

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