Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

I got bad news yesterday.

Posted by   + Show Post

Most of you know my mom is in rehab in the hospital for breaking her hip. Looks like she might get out next week. The doctor called and told me mom has Dementia and can't live by herself any more. She has been here for over a year while paying rent at her apartment. She is so upset over this it isn't funny. I figured she might be starting to get Dementia or that it was just part of her age. But I guess the fall made it worse and he said this is normal. This is going to be so stressful dealing with this. Having her here against her will and all.

by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 10:54 AM
Replies (21-30):
celestegood
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 8:34 PM
I'm so sorry. I worked with dementia/Alzheimer's patients for a long time. If you ever need to talk message me. I'm here for you.

Also, look into support groups! They are so helpful.

I'm so sorry, again-it's such a hard thing to live through.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
preacherskid
by Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 8:42 PM

I'm sorry.  DH's grandfather developed a rapidly deteriorating dementia, he was completely gone in weeks.  There was no treatment for him because it progressed so quickly.  It was very rough on his family because he would insist he was fine, his wife would believe him, but he was like a child.  He didn't eat anything but milkshakes and snickers bars (he was diabetic), he would get concerned about shoveling snow to milk the cows in summer, he barely recognized anyone.  He had bouts of anger and depression, and refused to stay in a care facility-on his lucid days he convinced everyone he could go home.  I definitely recommend a support group for you and your family, and make sure your mom has any outpatient services she needs set up as quickly as possible.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 12:01 AM

Aww thanks, that is so sweet of you. He isn't saying much. I don't think he realizes it isn't going to be easy.

Quoting HopeAlive:

 Aww, it sounds like you've got a lot going on there... I so wish I could help somehow! How is your husband feeling about the news?

Quoting Janet:

All there is, is mom, my brother and I on my side of the family. I am married so my husband of course. I have older kids. One is chronically ill. One that would help the best he can. The other, he turned into his wife, not so nice of a person like he use to be. Sad but true.

Quoting HopeAlive:

Oh I'm so sorry... That doesn't sound easy. I'm new to this group, so I don't know some of the background, but do you have family around to help you?




Janet
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 12:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Thanks hun. Your not butting in.

Quoting celestegood: No it takes years. Sorry to butt in.

Quoting Janet:

Does it progress that fast?

Quoting Jinxed8:

My friend JUST went through this ... her mother fell and broke her hip and never recovered.  They also diagnosed her with dementia.   My friend took her in and cared for her until the end.  It was NOT an easy process for anyone, dementia is terrible.  They basically regress to a child like state, where they have to wear diapers, take naps, be fed and be under constant supervision and they don't remember something you told them 5 minutes prior some can get nasty and aggressive.  My friend's mom passed away a few days before Christmas last december.  very sad


I wish you the best, the next few months won't be easy.   



Janet
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 12:07 AM

I will take you up on that. Thanks again!

Quoting celestegood: I'm so sorry. I worked with dementia/Alzheimer's patients for a long time. If you ever need to talk message me. I'm here for you.

Also, look into support groups! They are so helpful.

I'm so sorry, again-it's such a hard thing to live through.


Janet
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 12:17 AM

Thank you!

Quoting preacherskid:

I'm sorry.  DH's grandfather developed a rapidly deteriorating dementia, he was completely gone in weeks.  There was no treatment for him because it progressed so quickly.  It was very rough on his family because he would insist he was fine, his wife would believe him, but he was like a child.  He didn't eat anything but milkshakes and snickers bars (he was diabetic), he would get concerned about shoveling snow to milk the cows in summer, he barely recognized anyone.  He had bouts of anger and depression, and refused to stay in a care facility-on his lucid days he convinced everyone he could go home.  I definitely recommend a support group for you and your family, and make sure your mom has any outpatient services she needs set up as quickly as possible.


celestegood
by Gold Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 8:43 AM
1 mom liked this
Good:) and no problem.

Quoting Janet:

I will take you up on that. Thanks again!

Quoting celestegood: I'm so sorry. I worked with dementia/Alzheimer's patients for a long time. If you ever need to talk message me. I'm here for you.



Also, look into support groups! They are so helpful.



I'm so sorry, again-it's such a hard thing to live through.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
HopeAlive
by on Feb. 6, 2014 at 3:25 PM

 Yeah, that makes sense...

I found a couple of article series about caring for aging parents or loved ones. They might give you some good insights. :) One is called Caring for Ill or Aging Parents and the other is called Becoming Your Loved One's Caregiver. I really like that in the second one there's a section all about the importance of caring for yourself as well.

Hang in there, friend. I know this season ahead may not be easy, but with you're gonna do an amazing job. Sending prayers and hugs your way!!

Quoting Janet:

Aww thanks, that is so sweet of you. He isn't saying much. I don't think he realizes it isn't going to be easy.

Quoting HopeAlive:

 Aww, it sounds like you've got a lot going on there... I so wish I could help somehow! How is your husband feeling about the news?

Quoting Janet:

All there is, is mom, my brother and I on my side of the family. I am married so my husband of course. I have older kids. One is chronically ill. One that would help the best he can. The other, he turned into his wife, not so nice of a person like he use to be. Sad but true.

Quoting HopeAlive:

Oh I'm so sorry... That doesn't sound easy. I'm new to this group, so I don't know some of the background, but do you have family around to help you?


 


 

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Feb. 6, 2014 at 4:55 PM

Sorry to hear.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Feb. 6, 2014 at 4:56 PM

My mother inlaw has it.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)