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What Do You Think of the Term, "Marrying Down"?

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:07 PM
  • 29 Replies

Women Are 'Marrying Down' More These Days, Say Unromantic Scientists

by Michele Zipp 

wedding cake topperBecause we all need another study about the inequalities that happen in marriage, a new survey is revealing that there are more women marrying a man who has a lesser education than she does for the first time. Because apparently this is really important.

I'm a proponent of education, but I can't help but feel this study is mean-spirited. What's it out to prove? That's it's now a trend to marry someone who hasn't kept up the same number of college credits as you did?

To the people who are thinking that we should marry a man with money, this has nothing to do with that ... just education. In fact, women with more education are still generally making less than men who aren't as educated. Let's not get distracted and go on a tangent there but let's also note how screwed up that is.

It's hard enough finding a good mate. Ahoy captain! Sorry, I can't mention mate without feeling a wee bit pirate-y. Pirates are brave! They take risks! Exactly what we do when we are falling in love and getting married. I'm not saying that marriage is a risk ... exactly. But it is in a way, so says this divorcee. Still, I love love, and marriage. So I'm going to seriously dislike this "marrying down" phrase that makes no sense and kind of sucks all the love out of what marriage is all about.

Maybe divorce lawyers created this term?

Marriage is about respect and admiration and love and not being able to imagine your life without this person in it and laughing and understanding and love, love, love. And thinking the other person is the cutest person ever, as my mom likes to tell me. Marriage is not about what degree you have or don't have.

What do you think of the term "marrying down"?

by on Feb. 14, 2014 at 2:07 PM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 14, 2014 at 3:04 PM
3 moms liked this

It's proven time and time again right here on cm. Women marrying losers then complaining about it. Idk maybe women are just desperate to marry cause it's some big fantasy ?

Jilectan
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 12:58 AM

Well, I did marry a man with slightly less education than I have. I have an AA and he has a GED. He's very smart, though. He taught himself to program C. The problem is he was raised by people very against education (Jehovah's Witnesses) and has this big blind spot where education is concerned. He'll say that he wants to get more education to improve our lives, but then he'll turn around and say any program he looks up isn't worth the cost.

He's not a loser, though. He's a great guy and works very hard to support us. He's also completely behind me being a SAHM and homeschooling our kids. He's the one who broached the idea of me being a SAHM back when we had our second child.

johnny4ever
by Mrs. Depp on Feb. 15, 2014 at 8:46 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting goddess99:

It's proven time and time again right here on cm. Women marrying losers then complaining about it. Idk maybe women are just desperate to marry cause it's some big fantasy ?

Yup.I don't think they have the self esteem and they just settle.Why be in a rush to marry anyways.

Elle.tea.22
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:54 AM
Agreed

Quoting johnny4ever:


Quoting goddess99:

It's proven time and time again right here on cm. Women marrying losers then complaining about it. Idk maybe women are just desperate to marry cause it's some big fantasy ?

Yup.I don't think they have the self esteem and they just settle.Why be in a rush to marry anyways.

Elle.tea.22
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 9:57 AM
I think they mean marrying a loser for the same of being married.

Mine has 2 bachelors, 2 masters and a phd. I have a bachelors, associates, and working on a masters.

By definition he married down. Yet I make more than he does, 30k a year more. So did I marry down? No.


Quoting Jilectan:

Well, I did marry a man with slightly less education than I have. I have an AA and he has a GED. He's very smart, though. He taught himself to program C. The problem is he was raised by people very against education (Jehovah's Witnesses) and has this big blind spot where education is concerned. He'll say that he wants to get more education to improve our lives, but then he'll turn around and say any program he looks up isn't worth the cost.

He's not a loser, though. He's a great guy and works very hard to support us. He's also completely behind me being a SAHM and homeschooling our kids. He's the one who broached the idea of me being a SAHM back when we had our second child.

Lynette
by on Feb. 15, 2014 at 10:03 AM
When my SIL married my little brother she was Definitely marrying down. He is a highschool drop out while I think she has a bachelors is something. She is not even using her degree. He has brought her down to his level. And he makes her feel bad about her student loans. Honestly back when I was dating I never would have even considered dating a highschool drop out.
m.garcia21
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 10:10 AM
My dh didnt even finish hs bc he had to drop out to maintain his parents .i finished hs and im currently in college.i really dont think it matters at least not in my case. My dh is a very hardworking man and he has worked himself up during the years so he makes a decent wage. Hes also the best man ive ever met. His so respectful and a great father. Everyone he meets loves him, my friends and family loves him and if you ever met him you wouldnt even know about his educational background .
MomFantastic
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 10:11 AM

I would not marry a man with less education, a different religion, or a different race.  I need to have the most in common to help my chances of staying happily married.

m.garcia21
by Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 10:16 AM
Oh. Wow the jw are not against education. I was raised a jw. Im not anymore since i was never baptised. But i still somewhat keep up with the ppl and they are all professionals. Ive even met a few lawyers in the congreations ive been to .The few times that ive gone to some of their events theyve encouraged me to go back to college.

Quoting Jilectan:

Well, I did marry a man with slightly less education than I have. I have an AA and he has a GED. He's very smart, though. He taught himself to program C. The problem is he was raised by people very against education (Jehovah's Witnesses) and has this big blind spot where education is concerned. He'll say that he wants to get more education to improve our lives, but then he'll turn around and say any program he looks up isn't worth the cost.

He's not a loser, though. He's a great guy and works very hard to support us. He's also completely behind me being a SAHM and homeschooling our kids. He's the one who broached the idea of me being a SAHM back when we had our second child.

delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2014 at 10:22 AM

I don't really get into that....I think it depends on the people and how they can abide with each other regardless of education.

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