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Half brother isn't allowed to meet my son...do i have any say?

Posted by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:12 PM
  • 63 Replies

I have a 9 month old son with my fiance. He was previously married and had a very messy divorce from a very bitter woman. He has a 7 year old son with her and she refuses to let him see him and for my son to meet him. I know she has rights over her son so I don't think there is anything I can do. I'm worried about what to tell my son when he gets older. Do I not mention that he has a brother? I don't want him to think that I kept him from his brother, because I'd love for them to meet and I don't want to tell him the truth "his mommy thinks your a bastard child and doesn't want her son to be around you" What do i do??

by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
TRAVELMOM817
by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 12:56 PM
You can't control what other people do! So, why worry about it? Doesn't your fiancé have visitation ? Won't your son see him then? Enjoy your child with his family and let her enjoy her family . Some people are bitter after a divorce but hopefully it won't last forever!
waytomanykids10
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 1:27 PM
5 moms liked this

 Why isn't he getting visitation of his child? He needs to go to court and get visitation, then she can't deny him. I just do not understand these men that won't fight to see their children.

ladybugchick317
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 1:29 PM

 Is there a custody order for your ss? Does it state anything about visitation? If it does then dh can get her for contempt and she will have to let him see his son.

Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 1:30 PM
1 mom liked this

my big questions is how come your fiance has no visitation rights at all ?   I would bring it up to court.  But really if nothing will change and the other mom is going to keep her son away from yours. Don't say anything, later on in life jjust tell your son the truth - you have a half brother but his mom didn't want you guys to meet.  Eventually when the kids are older, they'll get to meet.

CJsMama519
by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 6:25 PM
She has full physical custody because in Massachusetts if you get a woman pregnant before the divorce is final the woman gets awarded custody of his child from the previous message. He has tried and she makes it impossible. She is so dramatic and irrational that he's afraid to even be near her for fear she will say he did something or said something bad (which she has done) now if he wants to see his son he has to schedule it a week prior and she can by law request the visits be supervised and that he get a full drug test. These are all laws any woman can use in mass but just don't choose to make it so difficult. He has never had a drug issue and he doesn't even drink and is an amazing father to that little boy. We had him every weekend at our apartment and he was amazing with him. Then I got pregnant and she started pulling all this.
johnny4ever
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by Mrs. Depp on Feb. 20, 2014 at 7:08 PM
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Quoting CJsMama519: She has full physical custody because in Massachusetts if you get a woman pregnant before the divorce is final the woman gets awarded custody of his child from the previous message. He has tried and she makes it impossible. She is so dramatic and irrational that he's afraid to even be near her for fear she will say he did something or said something bad (which she has done) now if he wants to see his son he has to schedule it a week prior and she can by law request the visits be supervised and that he get a full drug test. These are all laws any woman can use in mass but just don't choose to make it so difficult. He has never had a drug issue and he doesn't even drink and is an amazing father to that little boy. We had him every weekend at our apartment and he was amazing with him. Then I got pregnant and she started pulling all this.

Massachusetts sucks then!Crazy laws!

KaylaBug89
by Member on Feb. 20, 2014 at 7:34 PM
1 mom liked this

Unfortunately, you don't really have a say. Really, the only way to make sure they meet and to make sure that your fiance gets to see his son is to take her to court and have the courts tell her she HAS to let him see his kid. That's what my husband had to do with his ex. We're even having to do it again.

dobbyfaceart
by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 7:54 PM
4 moms liked this
There has been some pain for this women, and you should respect that. Don't be so quick to speak about rights. We all have a right to be nasty, but choose to be better than. Not to rub in her face, but for peace. Give her time, someone has just replaced her, and that is a scary thing for any woman. You must look at long term, not short term. If you force this matter you will destroy any chance of any kind of frist step. We as parents, Sometimes need to step back and let kids teach us. It will work out, at all cost be nice remember its important to you for now, think of your child not yourself. When something is important to us, we are very careful with it, and will do what it takes to protect it. Put yourself in her shoes. No, you might not act as such, but you can try as woman to woman and understand her.
dobbyfaceart
by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 8:09 PM
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I was in the same situation, but i was the one who did not like her. I still dont, but i decided to be the bigger person. It took a long time, but time was all it needed. I felt like i was being replaced, and i thought to myself, "my son dont need another mom i am all he needs". I soon realized, she was not there to replace me, but she was there for my sons father, and just be a friend to my son. It will work out. Only use courts if you just have no choice, because once u do that. You can not turn back, and there will always be war. You do not want that for those two sweet boys. He still young yet give it some time. Send her some photos of your son,and a gift. Let her know, you are so looking forward to them meeting and you two being abel to talk over coffee. Make the first step. No its not your fault. But be nice anyway
dobbyfaceart
by on Feb. 20, 2014 at 8:09 PM
I was in the same situation, but i was the one who did not like her. I still dont, but i decided to be the bigger person. It took a long time, but time was all it needed. I felt like i was being replaced, and i thought to myself, "my son dont need another mom i am all he needs". I soon realized, she was not there to replace me, but she was there for my sons father, and just be a friend to my son. It will work out. Only use courts if you just have no choice, because once u do that. You can not turn back, and there will always be war. You do not want that for those two sweet boys. He still young yet give it some time. Send her some photos of your son,and a gift. Let her know, you are so looking forward to them meeting and you two being abel to talk over coffee. Make the first step. No its not your fault. But be nice anyway
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