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Scared to be a SAHM.. Help! (long)

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 8:00 PM
  • 6 Replies

I may soon be forced to become a SAHM and I'm terrified!

My FIRST child is due June 1st and we have figured out that we would be paying significantly more for childcare than I'd be able to bring home keeping my current job. Of course I've been looking for a better job but nothing is working out mostly because everyone that IS interested wants me to work only once a week because they can't afford more or doesn't want to hire me before the baby is born because my maternity leave would put them right back in the same boat with no help.

My husband's income alone will not enough to get us by when baby gets here as we will have to move to a bigger apartment that is $300 more just for rent because our lease is up at the end of July and our state regulations prevent us from staying in a 1 bedroom with a child.

My M&FIL suggested I try babysitting a couple children while I'm at home with my baby but I don't already know anyone who needs childcare and I wouldn't be able to do that until after that 6 week period of restriction after I deliver DD. We cannot afford high-speed internet in order for me to do a lot of work online, I can do some things but only what the free wifi in our area will allow, which sometimes it doesn't work at all. I do have a certificate in event planning and have successfully planned a ton of my own events but I haven't been able to plan any events for other people yet so I don't think that is something I can ask people to pay for right now.

Any ideas, advice, or support would be GREATLY appreciated as I am super stressed about this right now and that is NOT good for babygirl :/ Thank you ladies in advance!

Edit - I forgot to mention that we do not have any other options for childcare as we do not have any friends or family members, etc who will be able to care for our daughter even for a couple of hours and we have already looked into daycares, babysitters, programs through church, etc and we would be paying more for all options than I bring home.

Edit #2 - A lot of people have said to double check my state law (I live in Missouri) regarding whether a newborn counts against the 2 people per bedroom rule. I spent a few hours hunting down this information only to be severely disappointed. The law states: "2. An occupancy limitation of two persons per bedroom residing in a dwelling unit shall be presumed reasonable for this state. The two-person limitation shall not apply to a child or children born to the tenants during the course of the lease." (found here --> http://www.moga.mo.gov/statutesearch/stathtml/4410000060.htm) So since our daughter will be born before the new lease period we will have to get a 2 bedroom. The only way around that is to cancel our current lease early and move to a new one bedroom before she is born. In order to do so our landlord has to agree to let us cancel early and we highly doubt she will be we are going to look into it.

by on Feb. 23, 2014 at 8:00 PM
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Replies (1-6):
goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 24, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Have you tried the welfare office? They might be able to help with rent. Good luck dear! And congrats on your little one =)

Runner36
by on Feb. 24, 2014 at 12:43 PM

Can you work the opposite shift from your husband?  Then you wouldn't need childcare.  And as goddess99 said..you can always check with the welfare office. Good luck!

Deejae-Dollface
by Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 6:25 PM


Quoting Runner36:

Can you work the opposite shift from your husband?  Then you wouldn't need childcare.  And as goddess99 said..you can always check with the welfare office. Good luck!

Thank you! I really do appreciate every response as I try to figure this situation out in the best way for my family. My DH's work schedule changes every week so it would be difficult but I will be talking to my manager to see if she would be willing to wait to schedule me until after we get my DH's schedule so that I could only work while he is home.

Deejae-Dollface
by Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 6:35 PM


Quoting goddess99:

Have you tried the welfare office? They might be able to help with rent. Good luck dear! And congrats on your little one =)

Thank you! Even though I'm scared, I'm super excited to meet my daughter and I feel blessed even in these hard times because I miscarried twice before this pregnancy and we were afraid I would be unable to carry her to term.. almost to the third trimester and doing great though (:

I have contacted almost all available resources in my area and the only help we can get right now is WIC as we do not qualify for Food Stamps until after DD is born (they cannot count our household size as 3 people until then) and HUD is not accepting applications in my area. I'm currently looking into putting our names on the waiting list for other resources such as local churches, community services, etc that can sometimes help with rent and utilities.

goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 24, 2014 at 6:52 PM

Aww well good luck, everything will work out. Keep us updated =)

Quoting Deejae-Dollface:


Quoting goddess99:

Have you tried the welfare office? They might be able to help with rent. Good luck dear! And congrats on your little one =)

Thank you! Even though I'm scared, I'm super excited to meet my daughter and I feel blessed even in these hard times because I miscarried twice before this pregnancy and we were afraid I would be unable to carry her to term.. almost to the third trimester and doing great though (:

I have contacted almost all available resources in my area and the only help we can get right now is WIC as we do not qualify for Food Stamps until after DD is born (they cannot count our household size as 3 people until then) and HUD is not accepting applications in my area. I'm currently looking into putting our names on the waiting list for other resources such as local churches, community services, etc that can sometimes help with rent and utilities.


nana776
by Member on Feb. 24, 2014 at 7:51 PM
1 mom liked this

I would ask your caseworker, after dd is born, about help with childcare expences. The income guidelines for it are quite a bit higher than for other benefits.

Good Luck Mamma!!

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