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Help! I need quick and easy suggestions on how to deal with my moody, argumentative 13 year old son.

Posted by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:18 AM
  • 6 Replies


by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:18 AM
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Replies (1-6):
delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 9:42 AM
1 mom liked this

Not sure...maybe talk with someone else trusted about this...or have him talk with someone....hope things will work out....

OBImomma
by on Mar. 1, 2014 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this
I have a crabby, moody, argumentative sister. Thus is what my mom has been doing.

If she's mean she doesn't get to go out on Friday night
If she is disrespectful she gets an extra chore to do. An extra chore is added if she argues about it or refuses to do it. If she still doesn't do it she loses electronics.
If she is a pain in the butt to everyone she has to spend the day/night by my moms side.

Her attitude has improved a great deal, except for when she is pmsing
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clairewait
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 11:30 AM
2 moms liked this

Sounds crazy, but kids of all ages thrive in structure.

The first thing I tell parents (I used to work at a residential wilderness camp for delinquent teens) dealing with any kind of discipline issue in their teenagers is this: control the environment first.

This means:

  • clean up your house and organize it
  • clean up your daily/weekly schedule and organize it
  • implement a sit-down family dinner more nights a week than not

If you work to control those three things consistently, crazy as it sounds, you will notice an immediate change in your kids' behaviors. If you are already doing those things, then getting to the root of his behavior is made much easier.

Tighten your boundaries. Stop putting up with whining, complaining, arguing AT ALL. Stop it mid-sentence. Cut him off, make him think about what he's saying and how he's acting, and get him to take responsibility for his behavior.

Make him talk about how he feels in an appropriate way. 

And, help him meet his emotional needs in an appropriate way.

Kids only act out out of a need. When you can help them identify that need, you can help them meet it without the attitude.

And the steps above make this much easier because they isolate the problem. Hope that helps.

DanaG70
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 2:39 PM

She said what I was going to say in a better way than I would have!

Quoting clairewait:

Sounds crazy, but kids of all ages thrive in structure.

The first thing I tell parents (I used to work at a residential wilderness camp for delinquent teens) dealing with any kind of discipline issue in their teenagers is this: control the environment first.

This means:

  • clean up your house and organize it
  • clean up your daily/weekly schedule and organize it
  • implement a sit-down family dinner more nights a week than not

If you work to control those three things consistently, crazy as it sounds, you will notice an immediate change in your kids' behaviors. If you are already doing those things, then getting to the root of his behavior is made much easier.

Tighten your boundaries. Stop putting up with whining, complaining, arguing AT ALL. Stop it mid-sentence. Cut him off, make him think about what he's saying and how he's acting, and get him to take responsibility for his behavior.

Make him talk about how he feels in an appropriate way. 

And, help him meet his emotional needs in an appropriate way.

Kids only act out out of a need. When you can help them identify that need, you can help them meet it without the attitude.

And the steps above make this much easier because they isolate the problem. Hope that helps.


DixieL
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 5:31 PM

I wish I could help you. The one thing I can think of, is to take things away, that he loves and make him earn them back. I'm sure you have already tried grounding him.

splatz
by Sarah on Mar. 2, 2014 at 7:30 PM

What have you tried so far?

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