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How to let your son go

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 5:04 PM
  • 24 Replies

My son is 22 and is currently in boot camp for the Marines.  A month before he left he gets a girl friend that really doesn't fit real well in the family.  In fact no one really likes her at all.  I have been nice.  Not ooshy gooshy nice, but polite.  We ( his father and I) have been waiting to get the first letter from him from boot camp.  We just find out that the girl friend has received approximately 8 letters and he sent the parents packet to her.  Can I say ouch!  I'm hurt but his dad is hurt more.  I found some books on amazon that I will order to help me deal with letting your son go to try and help but I would love to hear from other moms that maybe are going thru something similar.  Thank you.

by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 5:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
celestegood
by Gold Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 8:51 PM
No help here. My oldest is eighteen in five months and he plans to move out by nineteen.
I'm not ready to let him go. My only consolation is that he plans to stay in the same city as us for a year. After that he may move a couple of thousand miles away.

Counseling? I've thought of that or maybe a good book.
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Shawnzi66
by on Mar. 8, 2014 at 8:55 PM

I've truly thought about counseling.  I don't want to become the MIL from hell!

oliveoil423
by Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:01 PM
1 mom liked this
Just let him decided where his relationship goes with his new gf. God bless your son in the marines. Hope to have safe travels. My brother in law is in the army receaves (how ever that is spelled). Goid luck. Plus let him have some space.
Jenn8604
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 9:08 PM
1 mom liked this
Hugs! Gl! Maybe the gf will give up on him. He'll can be gone for months in end.
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clairewait
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2014 at 10:46 PM
1 mom liked this

No personal advice, but my mom went through this too. My brother is the only boy AND the oldest. Needless to say, her favorite.

He's been a helicopter pilot in the army for the last 9 years. He was also notorious for picking bad girlfriends.

I think at some point, my mom had to just make up her mind to stop taking it personally and to support him as best as possible... fully understanding she was not going to be the most important woman in his life forever.

He ended up marrying the last "bad girlfriend" much to my mom and all of his 3 sisters dismay. They are still married.

We don't love her (love, not in the family sense of the word) but we've just sort of accepted that it's his life and he can do whatever he wants. AND, he no longer needs to be parented. He just needs love and support from his family. So that's what we do. And we make the best of holidays and what not together, even though she's difficult.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Mar. 9, 2014 at 8:01 AM
1 mom liked this

Sorry to hear. You can always send him a letter and hopefully he will reply back with one to you.

momtodab
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 8:21 AM
1 mom liked this
Were you guys real close before he left? When he comes home I'd at least trek him how you feel and then let it go. Boys will be boys. My mids are young but ive broken my dads heart a few times and he was was always upfront and honest about how he felt and why and it helped me think about things a differe way and make better choices.
mamamiajk
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2014 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this

I feel so bad for you....As a mom to 3sons I count myself extremely lucky that they all keep in touch and will call just to say Hi and I love you mom. If I were you I'd keep the lines of communication open. Be glad they're not married and have kids because perhaps this will blow over and he'll move on.hugs

Shawnzi66
by on Mar. 9, 2014 at 10:07 AM

Honestly, I think she is just thinking how cool it is to have a bf that is going to be a marine.  I read a book last night that has truly  helped.  You are right, mamamiajk, I will be here for him now and when/if they break up.  It's truly hard being the one they talk to for 20 years to it changing to someone else.

johnny4ever
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Hiking!
Yesterday at 10:55 AM
by Mrs. Depp on Mar. 9, 2014 at 10:11 AM
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That stinks.

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