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stressed

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 11:15 AM
  • 20 Replies
I have 4 children but my 9 yr old is the one that I go to war with EVERYDAY!! I am not exaggerating in the littlest. Its to the point I want to ship him off. I'm emotionally drained where he is concerned. I don't know what else to do. Please give me some advice. He has promised to do better and 2 seconds later he does same stuff. Arguing back, bullying siblings, "everyone hates him" attitude, he is treated so unfairly, he hates me, wished I would leave. He is my stepson. I do live him but I'm ready to throw in the towel. My husband is supportive to my feelings b/c Shane does some of the same things to him. HELP!!!
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 11:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Jinxed8
by Silver Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

pre-tweens ... how fun.  Mine is 10 and I'm having a hard time as well lately.  Very passive/aggressive.  Wish I could help you more ... sorry

aliken
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 11:47 AM
I seriously need an instruction manual!!!
SeraiahH
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 11:54 AM
1 mom liked this
My son is soon to be 15 years old next month. He went through the same thing and it is trying for any parent, biological or step. Between hormones and trying to gain independence into becoming a teen, preteen is the hardest IMO.

Don't give up!!! He will outgrow it. Pick your battles and stay strong on your household rules. My son still has these moments but they are slowly dying down. Just don't give up or give into the unwanted behavior. He's still testing boundaries.
aliken
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 12:00 PM
I have actually cried once the kids leave the house. I just don't know what to do any longer
SeraiahH
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 12:07 PM
I'm sending you a message.
goddess99
by Michelle on Mar. 13, 2014 at 12:38 PM

I agree with this. My dd is 11 and the rules are the rules. Stay strong =)

Quoting SeraiahH: My son is soon to be 15 years old next month. He went through the same thing and it is trying for any parent, biological or step. Between hormones and trying to gain independence into becoming a teen, preteen is the hardest IMO. Don't give up!!! He will outgrow it. Pick your battles and stay strong on your household rules. My son still has these moments but they are slowly dying down. Just don't give up or give into the unwanted behavior. He's still testing boundaries.


clairewait
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 1:21 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting aliken: I seriously need an instruction manual!!!

Try Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman.

It's pretty right on, doable, and seriously gives you a step-by-step approach to behavioral change. (Quick and easy read, old enough to find it at the library.)

clairewait
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 1:24 PM


Quoting SeraiahH: He will outgrow it. Pick your battles and stay strong on your household rules. My son still has these moments but they are slowly dying down. Just don't give up or give into the unwanted behavior. He's still testing boundaries.

I don't think kids "outgrow" bad behavior. They either learn to follow boundaries or their negative behavior continues to grow with them.

I appreciate your suggestion not to give up... I want to add that this doesn't mean hang in there and wait until it is over. It means FIGHT IT.

Also. I'm not a battle picker. I fight them all. The smallest ones the hardest.

Fight small battles early in the day and you will eliminate the big battles later. Works at every age.

aliken
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 2:00 PM
I will have to check it out. Thank you

Quoting clairewait:

Quoting aliken: I seriously need an instruction manual!!!

Try Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman.

It's pretty right on, doable, and seriously gives you a step-by-step approach to behavioral change. (Quick and easy read, old enough to find it at the library.)

aliken
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 2:05 PM
Some of the fights begin over things that shouldn't even start. Ex: he assumed I gave my daughter an extra snak b/c she took two snack wrappers to trash. One was hers. The other one was my youngest son. Shane went ballistic. This morning we were running late and 5min til bus he decides he wants to eat at home. I told him no (I can't drive due to auto accident so the kids HAVE to catch the bus) he starts throwing things, kicking, and yelling how he is being starved and abused. Needless to say things weren't the best.
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