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I have 4 children but my 9 yr old is the one that I go to war with EVERYDAY!! I am not exaggerating in the littlest. Its to the point I want to ship him off. I'm emotionally drained where he is concerned. I don't know what else to do. Please give me some advice. He has promised to do better and 2 seconds later he does same stuff. Arguing back, bullying siblings, "everyone hates him" attitude, he is treated so unfairly, he hates me, wished I would leave. He is my stepson. I do live him but I'm ready to throw in the towel. My husband is supportive to my feelings b/c Shane does some of the same things to him. HELP!!!
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 11:15 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 8:04 PM 10 year old has been beyond emotional and I am physically drained....surrender

by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 8:30 PM

We have come to a "mutual" understanding or truce for right now. i spoke with my MIL and she has agreed to this. On tuesdays and thursdays my son will get off the bus there-IF HE IS GOOD ALL DAY THE PREVIOUS DAY AND THAT MORNING. If he is not then he looses the privalege of going to her house. My husband is in agreement as well. I hope this works. Fingers crossed!!!fingers crossed

by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 8:32 PM

Im sorry to hear that. Trust me I know the feeling. If it wasn't for CafeMom I would have had a breakdown this morning. I literally sat there and cried until I came across a friend of mine from Facebook that shared the website.

by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 8:33 PM
I'm not looking forward to that age mine are 5 and 15months still little.
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 8:35 PM

Quoting sarahmargaret24: I'm not looking forward to that age mine are 5 and 15months still little.

I never thought I would feel like this trust me. It has been a nightmare lately. Hopefully it ends soon

by on Mar. 14, 2014 at 8:39 AM
There are many things that go on in the developing brain of children. Therapy is amazing. (My daughter has gone for 4 yrs, she is 10). It helps children recognize, acknowledge and deal with feelings and emotions. Plus if the child is suffering from other issues; such as oppositional defiance, a therapist will be able to diagnose and set up a treatment plan. Also gives the parent time to vent and gather ideas and strategies.
by Platinum Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 12:40 PM


by Bronze Member on Mar. 14, 2014 at 5:02 PM

My DS goes through this from time to time as well. I want him to talk to someone to see if we can see if this is stemming from something else but DH is on the fence about that. Hope it gets better.

by Gold Member on Mar. 16, 2014 at 2:01 AM
Pick your battles.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 1:11 PM

Sorry im late to this conversation, behind the times.  Sadly, i think it will only get worse.  My son is going to be 12 soon and is hitting puberty and things are getting more out of control.  I do believe in those studies that say birth order effects each kid differently.  Your 9yo is a "middle" child.  They tend to act out more because they feel ignored more often.  Oldest kids and youngest kids do get the most attention.  I would suggest spending more time with him.  I know it is hard with 4 kids.  Do pick your battles and dont engage him in conversation or an argument if he is going to yell or be rude.  Send him to his room and let him know that you will talk to him once he has calmed down, face to face talking.  It will be tough for a while, cuz he'll yell that you just dont listen to him and that you hate him, etc, etc.  Your son is getting attention from being bad, so he continues to mis behave.  Any attention is better than none at all.  I see this with my son and with my sister's kids.  My middle niece is a bigger whiner, etc, cuz she doesn't get as much attention and has to compete with her older sister and younger brother.  Is your son in any sports or extra curricular activities?  

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